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  1. #711
    jayemkayare's Avatar
    jayemkayare is offline Miracles don't just happen, they take hard work and determination.
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    Chook - I am so with you with everything you have just said It is so easy for people who have kids to tell us how great and noble it would be to adopt. Apparently they would 'love' to do it, yeah right. But that won't let me look into my husbands eyes and tell him I'm pregnant, that won't let me feel my baby kicking or hear its very first cry, and these days I would have missed out on first words and first steps, and of course so much more and here I am crying again.

    I really am sorry to hear how things are going badly for you. Your anger is warranted, the whole world sucks. I can't believe your FS's attitude, it is not appropriate for a doctor to "con" there patients to what they want, but like you said that is his easiest way to get his stats up. I know holidays and all don't make up for not having a family (although those with children do like to tell us they do) but I hope your trip to china does give you something to focus on. I want to see the orangatangs (hmmm spelling?) in Borneo.

    Take care Chook, I wish we could meet up for a cuppa, stuff that, a couple of bottles of wine and soft cheese.



    AFM - I have my FS appointment today to try to arrange my 'completion cycle' as I'm calling it. Haven't sleept in over a week, I keep waking with my heart racing and my stomach doing backflips.
    Last edited by jayemkayare; 08-05-2012 at 09:43.

  2. #712
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    Chook/Jaye – you have every right to feel angry. As forpeople with their “well-meaning” suggestions, I never found them well-meaning Ifound them ignorant and rude!! The FS are far too quick to go to the too hardbasket, I guess that’s why we rely on these forums and the information that weget from eachother, half the time we suggest the next step to them.

    The two of you have been through so much; it really is justnot fair. I wish I had something constructive to offer but both of you arecontinually researching new treatments etc and I hope with all my heart thatyou get some good news soon. The strength and determination that you both showis amazing and if there is any justice in this world things will work out forboth of you

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    Hi Ladies

    Chook you expressed yourself very well and I really understand where you are coming from when you say that you want a piece of you and DH. In the yrs leading up to DD I looked into adoption & DE's as well - it definitely isn't easy or even guaranteed that you can just adopt - that door was cut off to us b/c in Australia you don't have the right to adopt if either parent is over 42 & DH was 42. I have two younger half sisters who were both willing to help me with eggs which was very kind & although I was considering it, it just isn't the same needing all of this help. I think I would have tried DE by now but I can't be sure anymore.
    I have a friend who did DE & surrogacy, she is a wonderful mother - I like you respect & support those who choose this path but it's not for everyone.
    I felt angry and lost during all of those yrs Chook - some ppl handle it better than others - I was even considering leaving DH as he had a child and that was painful for me. I didn't feel that he cared as much. A lot of ppl say oh you are so lucky to have a beautiful SD - yeah a constant reminder of what I may never have and seeing DH & exwife created was often how I thought of it.
    I was so negative and willing to lose everything if I couldn't get what I wanted - I still struggle with the situation at times. Just wanted to say that there are those of us who really, truly feel for you and wish desperately for a miracle for you and DH. I wish the research and technology would hurry up too.

    Jaye how did your appointment go today? You poor thing all of that anxiety - thinking of you and of course if this could be your lucky last completion cycle that would be amazing & wonderful - anyway waiting to hear your news


    M20 being high risk for any of those things is traumatic, how are you feeling now? It was hell going through all of that and I'm scared to have to be in that situation again.

    Hi to my AF buddies, got mine on Sunday I was surprised when DH looked disappointed when I told him, like he thought we might get a natural miracle - I don't even let myself get worked up about that anymore. Will be back to see how you are going soon.

    Dandelion what's happening with your cycle now?

    Hi LG

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    Hi everyone :-) I'm ten weeks on fri an a bit of mild cramping an white discharge sorry if tmi lol but not sure what it is an if it's a good sign ?

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    Chook - as has been said you both have every right to be angry. People shoving options at you like you hadn't thought of every little one before is hard to take. Sometimes I feel like shoving it back at them, I want to make them feel bad - I get angry too, I guess this is normal for women in our situation/s. I wish I could make you feel better and say something to cheer you up. But I just want to say that I admire your courage and strength. I have heard of the new research into growing womens eggs. How great would that be? Good for you on offerering to be a guinea pig. I hope something comes of all this for you and you get your miracle one way or another Jaye - good luck with that cycle I hope everything turns out for the best for you

    Ness, I'm glad you understand the step child thing, I feel so alone with that too! I feel ashamed of these feelings and I am dealing with it bit by bit but it's a hard road...sometimes I could just up and leave as it hurts to see what DP has and I may never get.
    Kattub - all my GF's have complained of cramping and a lot of them about discharge too, I'm sure all normal.
    Hi to everyone else

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    Kattub exciting times for you - 12 wk scan coming up very soon

    KayJ That is exactly what I was getting at, the negative emotions are real & strong. Infertility is an incredibly painful life experience - I have been told by a councellor that studies have shown ppl facing cancer were in a better frame of mind than those facing infertility. You are not alone there are a lot of women in this position with step children and it is normal to have mixed emotions about it. I have felt ashamed at times too but I know that it is a very human response. Hope you and DP get to have your miracle soon which will make it much easier to deal with- I am looking at starting my next cycle around mid June. What about you?

    Luckyme How are you? The TCM sounds very positive You'll be seeing FS in a few weeks now

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    Hi Nessika,

    Not looking forward to it, but hopefully she can help us. Good luck with your cycle in June.

    Chook I can hear your pain. It is your right to choose the right path for you, I hope the pain eases and you and your dh can get through this. Will you do another cycle? We are here when you want to vent.

    Kattub good luck.

    Hi to everyone else.
    Last edited by Luckyme1; 09-05-2012 at 22:39.

  8. #718
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    Thank you ladies, for your messages. No one understands and really gets it like you do.

    Well I have some unexpected good news. Scan this morning showed lining 8mm and a 16mm natural follie! It is CD29. Unfortunately the lab is closed since the clinic is moving so we can't attempt an EPU of this natural follie or even do an IUI. We've been told to get busy this weekend.

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    OMG Chook that is exciting enjoy your weekend. You never know this could be your lucky egg hon!

    Lucky I know you're not looking forward to it But it's good to be getting some answers & have a back up, you still might get a natural BFP

    Have a nice weekend ladies

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    Hi chook, looks like you still got it!

    Nessika I wanna see the specialist but scared of the news she's going to give us, like 'it's no use mrs ... you cannot have another baby.'. Plus Ivf seems a bit of a lottery for me, I met someone the other day who had been doing it for seven years. There is no way we're doing that. I want to put a limit on it so I can get on with the rest of my life, and move onto other options like donor eggs or foster care. Have the docs told you how many cycles you should do before it's fruitless after that.

    I want to use the money for travel, sending my ds to private school and buying a bigger house or wow, a new car. The limitless fertility search scares me.

    Anyway I thought this thread needed some positive chat, what do all you gals do for fun, excitement and relaxation when you're not doing Ivf?


 

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