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  1. #1
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    Default How do you cope with public meltdowns?

    I stupidly took DD 5 the towns weekly markets this morning. Less than 10min in she was starting to come undone. By the time i'd quickly walked through the markets, i decided i need some coke and a kitkat and a trashy mag for my sanity this arvo. At the checkouts at woolies DD is screaming, lashing out etc. Her show flew at the checkout, almost hitting the guy serving us, a man 3 counters down commented it sounded like DD was being murdered, DD is grabbing my magazine almost ripping it to shreads and hit me in the face when i got to close.
    Get to the car and it was a hell struggle to get her out of her stroller and into the car seat. People were waiting for the parking space. DD Screams insanly the whole was home and then the usual struggle to get her out of her car seat, into her room and shut the baby gate for chill time.

    How do you cope? We're at the point now that i cannot take her out. She's too physically strong She's in meltdown mode everytime we leave the house :'(

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    Awwww honey!! I couldn't read and not give you a big hug!!

    Sounds really tough, I don't know what I would have done in that situation....

    However, I'm sure it's something every mum has been through.. Don't feel alone

    I hope someone else has some advice for you! X


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    I try to get through it and hope for the bet then come home to s ee if anyone put a thread up about an "out of control school kid " at the hops .

    But to you I hope the afternoon is a nice one for you both.

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  5. #4
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    Can you put her in daycare a couple of days a week so you can shop in peace?

    I put my 20 month old in at the start of the month for 2 days a week and shopping is now so, so peaceful...blissful...kidless LOL.

    I know what you mean about their strength too. Taking him out in the stroller isn't really an option since it's frowned upon to duct tape ones child into it...I'm not kidding, we have two strollers and he can easily get out of both and living on a main road, I just don't take him out anymore unless DH is home with the car (I don't drive).

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    When DD acts like that how do you re-act to her?

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    Oh hun i so sorry it is dam hard. I hate them. I just try and block everyone else out and just deal with the child having the meltdown. Which can be really hard as my main one is now 11 and very very strong. She is having meltdown constantly atm and we can't figure out why. We gone from not having in months and months to one or more a day. The has to be some reason. Oh sorry back to your issue's.
    Try blocking anyone else out (very hard but so worth it)
    Try refocusing before it gets into a full meltdown. (hardly ever works for me but when it does it bliss)
    If the comfort hold works, do it. I been know to just sit in the middle of a supermarket floor doing it with everyone just having to go round me.
    Other that all I can say is make sue you have somewhere/someone to vent/cry
    too.

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    With my son I take him aside and try to calm him by holding him close. If he lets me do that then I wait till he calms down and try to get him to verbalise if anything is wrong. If that doesn't work I might try a bribe but usually his brain is switched into 'animal mode' so bribes don't work. If need be I speak calmly, let him know we need to take him home, tell him I am going to pick him up and generally wrestle him into the car. I also firmly but calmly remind him that we are no smacking family and it is not ok to hit mum. If I have to I will apologise and dump my groceries on the customer services desk instead of waiting to pay. Then when we get home and he is calm I will ask him what happened and why he was so upset. Sometimes he knows and will tell me, sometimes he says he doesn't know. We have a cuddle and thats the end of it. Not sure if thats any help.
    *I also smile and turn a blind eye to the bystanders who feel it is ok to comment or I may say something like 'thanks for your wisdom, its appreciated'

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    I sit her in the trolley and pretend she isnt mine

    Ive dumped all my shopping and grabbed her in a bear hug and just dragged her back to the car. When my DD gets in a mood there is nothing that can be done until she calms down. She doesnt calm down until she gets home and put into her bedroom. No matter what you do, if she is in a mood, trying to talk to her or calm her or give her something to shut her up just does not work.

  10. #9
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    I firmly tell her that I do not like her behaviour and that it is not acceptable. I tell her hitting is not ok. I tell her we're going home.

    At the start of a melt down I can and do ask her what is wrong (is it too loud, are you scared etc) but 9 times out of 10 she's too worked up to verbalise.

  11. #10
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    When my big boy used to have his meltdowns, public or otherwise I found the only thing that helped was to pin him in a bearhug and just hug him till he calmed down. Sometimes it'd take 10 mins.. he'd be kicking and screaming and struggling like crazy and the whole time I'd be just going 'shhhh shhhhh, it's okay, shhhhh'. Words were useless but he seemed to respond to the shhh'ing. Eventually he'd wear out and calm down and I'd tell him 'it's all right'.

    He was also a breath holder, not out of spite but just part of his meltdowns. Thankfully the doctor told me the worst that could happen is he'd pass out and start breathing on his own again. Very comforting in a frightening kind of way.

    He's 22 now and sometimes I still have to hold him through a meltdown


 

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