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  1. #31
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    GluttonForPunishment is offline Bubhub Award Winner - 2011- Most Optimistic Poster and Newbie of the Year Awards
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    The amount of you poor ladies out there who are tolerating total BS never stops surprising me. You're being taken for granted - plain and simple. This bloke needs a wake up call. The girls here are saying strike. I'd be more inclined to suggest relationship counselling, as the problem isn't his lack of housework, but rather his complete and total lack of respect for you. He's acting like a jacka$$ and the fact that you've thought of leaving him shows just how much this has affected you. Don't stand for it, don't tolerate it. Make sure you look after yourself and your kids, and if that means kicking his sorry butt out then so be it. You don't deserve to be treated like trash.

    Chin up and good luck!

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    Areca  (13-12-2011),Benji  (21-11-2011),brogeybear  (14-11-2011),chameleon  (15-11-2011),delirium  (14-11-2011),Formerly Mick  (18-11-2011),jennibear  (13-12-2011),jfblady72  (15-11-2011),LibranTwin  (14-11-2011),pennylane  (21-11-2011)

  3. #32
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    My DP used to pull the same crap I got sick of his s#it and I went on strike I literally did nothing other than make the kids and I food.
    He soon realised and appreciated how much I actually di every day while he's at work I do just as much if not more than he does at work and I don't get paid for it. Explained to him I do washing cooking cleaning look after kids and pets all of which are professions people get paid for and I don't so I went to work he stated at home and soon begged to go back to work


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  4. #33
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    My DF's standards and mine are different. I don't mind mess whereas he flips of there's one thing on the floor. He also seems to think if *he* didn't drop it/leave it out etc *i* must have (cos we totally don't have a toddler who climbs furniture to open cupboards)

    Though I don't have to clean up after him anymore. He used to do the 'what do you DO all day?' 'I wish I could stay home and do nothing?' but he's home a lot as he's studying I think he also understands that entertaining jasper is what you do all day. And df has been doing a lot more.

    But I still don't see what he sees mess wise. Also like he'll call out 'what's this mess??!?' and it'll be like 1 tiny scrap of paper. A scrap of paper on an otherwise spotless floor IMO is not 'mess'

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    Double post.
    Last edited by Boobycino; 14-11-2011 at 14:56.

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    Oh though out of frustration about 2 years ago before he lifted his game I covered the house in post-it notes. Like on the washing basket 'dirty clothes in here' on his cupboard 'clean clothes in here'

    A sign on the dishwasher 'step 1 open dish washer. Step 2 put in dishes. Step 3 close dishwasher. Note: if full of clean dishes empty then see step 1'

    And so on.

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    I do agree with Glutton, it sounds like he needs some counselling as it seems the issues go deeper than not respecting what you do at home, but that he doesn't respect you full stop.

    I would be asking you partner would he be ok with YOU going out 4 nights a week to go drink and socialise and he can stay home with the kids?

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    Quote Originally Posted by TeenyT View Post
    I'd be telling him you're going to have to quit your part-time job because your other two jobs are suffering from lack of time. Then in the same breath, tell him he needs to go get a better job because he's failing in his providing role and doesn't bring home enough money to keep you happy. Would he be hurt or pee'd off by being told that? Because he seems quite happy to criticise all you do while he plods along, picking and choosing his partnership duties.

    He shares a child with you. He helps with ALL the child rearing duties when he's home. He doesn't get to pull the "oh I'm the provider and you're the little domestic woman" routine if you also provide financially. The list and wiping things off you'd written would be a huge source of resentment to me. That is incredibly disrespectful! He needs to remember you are his partner, not his slave. Want a few of us to come round and whack him with a wet mop for you?
    I totally agree!!

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    thanks again ladies.

    my DH always says any saturday night i want to go out he is happy to stay at home....totally misses the point ie i dont need to go out every saturday night...i dont need to go out til 2-3am and get drunk and whats wrong with relaxing on lounge and chilling?? i guess its hurtful thinking that he would rather be anywhere than with me or at home...etc....we are and have been always different socially with how much socail time we needed..but i guess i did think / expect that he would have become more responsible and less selfish once he was a parent..i was wrong. i havent had a chance to discuss any of above yet due to his shift work etc....but the time is coming .

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    Good luck talking to him, hopefully you can make some progress

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    Sorry but I've just seen in your sig how old your DH is.ive been reading along thinking he was much younger.Wow time to grow up buddy,he sounds like a spoilt brat.


 

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