Your dh sounds like he needs a reality check
Your dh sounds like he needs a reality check
Sounds like my DP yesterday, I've been a SAHM for 16 months and start my FULL TIME new job on Wed/Thur. I don't drive and catch up with my one friend ONCE a week and I was told "Can you actually do something around here rather than hanging out with D all day?" God that p!ssed me off. Oh and apparently he can't drop DS at daycare because it's 'too early and he won't get a sleep in'. Gee don't worry, i'll get up at 5am and do it all myself regardless of the fact that I don't drive and might have to catch two buses! Erm.. F YOU!!! *Rant*
I agree with the rest of them OP, throw it back in his face!
What a douche. Just do the what needs to be done for you and your baby and let him look after himself for a bit- he'll soon learn to appreciate you.
It DOES sound like there are bigger issues to be addressed though xx
I agree with the girls! I wouldn't do anything for him.. Don't cook.. Don't wash his clothes nothing! See how he likes it then
If your Dh has never really been like this before, maybe his anxiety to have the house clean has something to do with him going through something like depression or something similar (rather than 'you not doing your job). I noticed he is 40, has a 1yr old and one on the way, that can be quite stressful to deal with. Maybe he needs to talk to someone? I just think that it there could be more to it than him just wanting the house to be neat/clean etc.
I am not taking sides, I don't know you or your Dh, but just thinking outside the square.
singa: i agree, i think there are "issues" with him, in terms of worries etc he has with work, his future, finances etc.....believe or not im a psychologist so i have tried every psych trick in the book on him to change this. its much easier to solve other ppl's problems than your own.
MG: hehheee....but do u know what...i even got a serve from my mum on the weekend cos i spent two hours on the phone saturday night (our girls night out ) to my BFF and the next day she told me thats why i never do anything..one phone call in 6 weeeks...gee F OFF to her too!!!!!!
remember to breathe: are these 2 blokes related?
gee i have really enjoyed these messages, i obviously needed to have a big bitach , i always thought my DH had it good....he went to vegas for 2 weeks in June this year with a mate, he missed DS actual 1st birthday altho we did have a party a few days b4, honestly the list goes on, he does good things its not all bad..im no angel, i have faults like everyone but it does sound like DH is taking the pi$$ out of me and really getting it good, after reading these comments i do feel like ive been taken advanatge of, the more i give the more he wants, the poker thing i has also debated with him and it was agreed that going out every saturday was over the top but that lasted like 2 weeks and he went back to old ways, beeen out 4 weekends ina row now, doesnt even ask "do have anything on? do u mind? etc" i mean thats respectful right.....i have never belived in living in each others pockets and believe in having your own socail life, but DH still acts like he is childless at times and i think singa he hasnt adjusted that well to the change that comes with being a parent........
u know this was the beginning of it all...the night i got back home from the hospital stay after a c-sect with DS so still sore hobbled over after 5 days...his stoopid poker buddy rang asking him to go out that night to poker and my DH had the friggin nerve to accept .........of course i hit the roof and he didnt go but to think it was actually going to be ok????????? omg........that was part selfishness but honestly part just plain dumbness as well!!!!!!!!!!
Massive hugs to you! My DP is an absolute clean freak and I'm the total opposite, I actually like a bit of mess in my house. We argue about this quite a bit but at the end of the day I don't think either of us will ever change. DP works full time and I am a stay at home mum but he still does most of the cleaning and it is 50/50 when it comes to looking after DD when he is home. It has taken a bit of compromise on both our parts to get to where we are today because we are so different. For example, even though I hate doing it I will do a quick tidy at the end of the day to keep him happy (even though he does it again his way when he gets home) and he is slowly accepting my little untidy ways. The point to this is that you can come out of this together but obviously he has so much other stuff to work on! Just remember you are still a person too and you need time out just like he gets 2 nights a week! I hope he realises how good he has it with you!
well he got 4 nights last week out of the home!!!!!!!!! ...going out to poker, the pub, etc..like hello ladies im not crazy am i but isnt this just OTT???????? . i was steaming when he announced he was going out yet again on saturday night..didnt even bother to ask if maybe just maybe i wanted to do something else besides sit at home and twiddle my thumbs .................no respect. saturady nights is one of my nights off too..i friggin work now 4 days a week myself,..........he does "stuff" to compensate (in his mind?) for this by giving DS a bath and (almost ) putting him to bed, buts bolts out the door sooooo quick like he has been gagging to get out for the past hour that half the time DS is still awake and i have to re-settle.......ok so at least he tries to help BUT its not that he seems to want to genuinely spend the time playing with DS or to be helpful just for the sake of being helpful IYKWIM etc but he does it to a means to his own personal gain aka so he can feel justified to go out. he seems bored having to do these things...god he sucked up sooooooooo bad on saturday, doing this doing that and then says oh im off to poker..anyway thats how i see it. its very dissapointing. he hasnt nagged so much, althogh did ask if i could wash his socks cos he had none and i was like i dont like washing socks (actually i dont i loathe it). mummybynature: i have attempted to make more of an effort to be "tidier" lately, but partly cos i want to be more organised etc...
seriously im going to suggest he go see a psych....i can see a pattern of behaviour emerging aka the increased need to go out, staring into space, angry about work etc............i feel like a single mum living with a housemate . i find it reallllllllllly hard to talk to him these days .
yeah it does sound like there's some sort of connectedness lacking there.
Did he even invite you to come out with him on Saturday night? Hmmm..
Just sending you a big fat bear hug.
You're absolutely right - it's about respect, not the housework per se.
I am much neater than DP - I like organisation and can't stand when the place gets messy. We both work, so do you know what I do? I clean it to MY OWN standard. I don't harass him to do things that he doesn't want to - everybody has their own standards when it comes to their home and that's everybody's right. He's imposing his standards onto you when it would be easier and fairer for all involved if he wanted something done........ do it himself!! I find it incredibly rude that he's not only enforcing his standards of cleanliness onto you but the worst thing is he's expecting you to clean up after HIM!! That is weird!
I am worried where this is going - he wants you to be a good little wife by washing his stinky socks and cleaning up after him, all while you work, and he's happy to throw his weight around so he can go out nights while you're at home cleaning up after him and looking after the kids you both created together.
Sounds like major control issues to me and I hope he sorts them out before they get out of hand.
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