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  1. #1
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    Default Advice needed from people who have 4 year old twins.

    Hi Ladies.

    I have identical twin boys who are 4 and omg they are driving me completely insane. I love them more than life itself, but lately all they do is get on my nerves. In the past couple of weeks they have become really aggressive if they don't get their own way. They hit me, (including my tummy and i'm 30 weeks preg) i've been hit in the face. They swear at me and call me all names under the sun both at home and in public. It has gotten to the point where i am so worn out, depressed and have started questioning my own parenting ability. My partner and i do our best not to spoil them. Last week one of my boys kicked one of the daycare workers in the shins because he was told to pack up his toys. Major destruction at home as well. Cant go for five minutes without wrecking something or throwing toys around the room. They aren't like this all the time though. Sometimes they can be really sweet and want cuddles. I think they skipped the terrible twos and went straight for the fighting fours. I've been taking alot of sugary items out of their diet because it seems to trigger these episodes. I'm just really worried about whether they have a major psychological or behavioral issue. They go to daycare once a week, they get plenty of exercise and we go out to friends houses etc so i don't think its boredom. I think for the last week or two i have just gone to bed at night and cried and worried. Has anyone else been through a really rough patch with their twins and how did you get through it?

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    My triplets are 2.5 & your house sounds EXACTLY like ours.

    I'm at the end of my rope. I have no idea what to do next other than strap them in the car & drive to a fenced park to let them run till they can run no more & sleep all afternoon.

    I really have no idea, I know my 3 play off each other making things ten fold.


    Coming live from my phone

  3. #3
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    Holy crap Triple time. I couldn't imagine having 2.5 yr old triplets. I think i have it fairly easy compared to you! Sometimes i just get so tired and at the end of my rope too. Do you have much family support or help from friends?

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    We're 1100km from family, we do have friends close by but they both work & do help when we need them. Other wise its just me & DH. It was our choice to move interstate.

  5. #5
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    7fornow is offline Blessed Mummy to 1 awesome man and 6 lovely ladies!
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    girls,
    I know I am not a mother of multiples, so do not have kids at the same age and stage at the same time, so you can take or leave what I say obviously, but having 6 kids, we have had similar stuff in the past and sometimes still do now. I did a parenting course so I could get into a place called Spot 4 Kidz, as I have a son with Aspergers, 2 daughters with ADHD ODD Aspects of Autism, plus one of them has about 3 other labels. Anyway, I digress.. In the course, they had a thing called The 5 Love Languages. Basically, each of the five are an option for the way an individual might view/accept love, for example, praise, or loving words. Another is gifts, as in, they enjoy giving gifts and receiving them and it does not have to be store-bought, it could be a flower from the garden, its more that you thought of them and gave it to them to show them this. Another is Acts of service, ie you do things for them or they do things for others to show they care. Another is physical touch, they might be a cuddly, kissy type of kid, or maybe they just have to touch your shoulder on the way past, or have their hand on your leg or something. The last one is quality time, which is the hardest one to really manage I think! But basically, they like to have your full attention, go to a park or a movie, or read a book, or play puzzles, have a talk where you look at them and listen etc.. generally, on their own. There is a series of books by the same author on this subject and he has one called the 5 love languages of children, but its basically all the same thing. Another idea is a hero sandwich. Its basically a series of comments, in the order of "You rock, You suck, You rock" but this may be a little older than your children, as it is generally used to point out something needing attention, but is disguised by compliments. We've also tried reward charts, but these dont work well permanently for children with the extra needs my kids have. Aside from this, insomniac, you are pregnant, which means your kids could just be going through the same thing that singles do when there's a new baby coming, may be theyre feeling insecure and jealous! Im not sure how far you are now or if bubs has been born already, but I always get off to a good start with our new bubs and the older kids by giving the older ones a gift "from" the new bubs. Also, if bubs has a name already, call the baby its name, so they realise it is a person and has feelings, not a toy etc. I probably have other suggestions, but Ill leave my random rambling there and I hope it all gets a bit easier for you both soon. In the meantime, if you get even 5 mins to yourself, or even with the kids there, try meditating or even just look up some mantras/songs on youtube, it helps me to calm myself


 

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