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  1. #1
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    Default Not sure where to start?

    Hi,
    I'm not sure where to start. I have thought for several months that I have PND, but every time I think i should do something about it, I have a really good couple of weeks and I think maybe I'm just tired and how I am feeling is a normal part of motherhood.
    My daughters are 3 1/2 years and 20 months. I go through periods where I worry about everything, am awful to my husband, lose patience with my girls and lack motivation. I also cry a lot and get really angry with myself for doing so as there is no reason for it - I have a loving, supportive husband who would do anything for me and 2 (generally) happy, healthy girls and a wonderful extended family.
    Whenever I take the girls to the doctor I think I should mention it, but then I think I'm being silly and so have never actually spoken up about it.
    If I was to be diagnosed with PND, what happens from there? Do I get put on medications? Or do I have to try and find time to see a counsellor?
    If anyone has any advice for me it would be appreciated.

  2. #2
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    We all get like this..... its part of being a mum it has its highs and lows, where you get really run down..... Me and my husband have date nights lol sounds silly we get a baby sitter and go out for dinner,
    I would only go to doctors if you think you really need to.. anti despressants are horrible and very addictive... another thing that i do is I have 1 night to myself where my husband looks after our little boy, i put face mask on and paint my nails and pamper myself relax and read a book.

  3. #3
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    MuminMind is offline Bubhub Award Winner - 2011- Most Helpful Member, Member I'd Most Like To Meet, Most Community Minded Thread, Best Potential Moderator and Newbie of the Year Awards
    BH Advocate - PND & AND
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    Hi EveLouise. First and foremost, to you. There actually is a postnatal depression section underneath the depression section where you posted this thread. This is a great section, but it may be that you find more people in your situation in the PND section.

    Secondly, I wanted to let you know about a PND/AND private discussion area that the moderators and I have initiated for members with perinatal depression. (Antenatal and Postnatal depression) The area aims to be a supportive area where sufferers of perinatal depression can come together for support, education and general chat. This is an accepting place where distressing issues that we may not feel comfortable disclosing elsewhere can be raised. 

“Survivors” who have experienced perinatal depression in the past are also encouraged to join; to share their wisdom and hope. It is a place of camaraderie and positive growth!

    If you want access to this private discussion area, I'll be happy to PM you the password.
    • If you go to the section with the heading Not happy? Emotional health issuesarea, and click on the depression section, you can scroll down and will see a sub-section called Private Discussion Area.
    • Use the requested password
    • Once inside the area, you can subscribe to the section to ensure that you always get an email whenever a new thread is started in there. To do that, click on the orange RSS button and follow the on-screen instructions. Because access to the new section is restricted, posts made in there will not appear in new posts and won't be indexed by google, etc
    The discussion area has been a really great success so far. It is s really supportive space full of intelligent, funny, understanding and supportive ladies who have experiences with PND and/or AND. We agree that talking privately with others in a similar situation has been really therapeutic and positive for us, so we are continuing to look for others who want to join our lovely "family".

    Quote Originally Posted by Erin21 View Post
    We all get like this..... its part of being a mum it has its highs and lows, where you get really run down..... Me and my husband have date nights lol sounds silly we get a baby sitter and go out for dinner,
    I would only go to doctors if you think you really need to.. anti despressants are horrible and very addictive... another thing that i do is I have 1 night to myself where my husband looks after our little boy, i put face mask on and paint my nails and pamper myself relax and read a book.
    Erin21: I completely appreciate that you are validating EveLouise's feelings and giving her some useful advice. I will say, though; that if she has PND, it might be that she needs more than a date night, etc. And to say that she should only go to the doctor if she really need to, and that antidepressants are horrible, can be potentially damaging to women who are reaching out for help. I respect your personal experience and opinion, but for many women the medications were a life saver. They certainly were for me. And the doctor doesn't necessarily prescribe medication. Therapy or referrals to local support programs may be helpful to!

    I don't know if you have personal experience with ADs, but if you did have negative experiences, I am sorry about this. I hope you are well.
    Last edited by MuminMind; 31-10-2011 at 23:10.

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    Hi EveLouise,
    I struggled with PND for 2.5 years, I am now recovered thanks to my family and anti-depressants. The meds saved my life. It is entirely a personal choice whether anyone decides to take the anti-depressants and it's a choice which must be carefully made. But for me personally, I was terrified that I was not going to win the battle with PND, so the side effects were worth the benefits for me

    As for you, if you feel that something just isn't quite right then it can't hurt to talk to your GP. He/she might offer a mild anti-depressant (up to you whether you take it) and they'll probably give you some details on how to get into contact with local support groups and counselling services
    A friend once said to me "everyone has highs and lows, but at the end of a bad day most people are still happy within themselves". Just something to have a think about

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  7. #5
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    Hey Eve Louise,

    Lots of to you. I've had PND and had ADs and counselling which helped get me through it. For me, the most difficult part was initially identifying that I was actually depressed and seeking help. I was feeling low for a long while with things progressively getting worse, and I only sought help when things got really bad.

    I'm so glad to hear you've got such a supportive husband. Spending time with him and talking about things may help as a PP suggested, however PND or any kind of depression for that matter is a clinical condition and may require more than that.

    I think it's a great idea to talk to your GP about it. Could you book a separate appointment for yourself, so that you're not trying to look after the girls while talking to the GP about it?

    With regards to the process, my GP referred me to a counsellor who I started seeing that week. She also gave me some sample ADs with a script for some more. I didn't take the ADs for a few weeks as I thought I would give the counselling a go and see if that helped by itself. Although it did help to some extent, I felt I just couldn't get out of the rut I was in so I started the ADs. I actually think I got a lot more out of the counselling once I was on the ADs, as I was able to more clearly and rationally process all that was going on in my head.

    So what I was trying to say was... you don't need to take meds. I know a lot of people who just have counselling. Through my recovery I started being very open with people about my PND, and I was surprised with how many other people have also experienced it. It's definitely a lot more common than most people think, and it's a shame that so many of us (me included) have initially been so reluctant to identify it in ourselves.

    As an update, I've now stopped taking the ADs and have ceased counselling, and feel like I'm doing really well. I think having been through PND, if I do experience something similar next time I'll be much less reluctant to seek help.

    By the way, you sound like you do a great job with your girls, and you're really in tune to how you're feelings may impact on your family. Shows what a great mum you are.

    Great advice from MumInMind and MamaC too.

    All the best hun, and feel free to PM me anytime or pop into the PND private discussion area.

    ETA: MIM has added some great resources/reading on PND in the discussion area that might be useful to have a look at.
    Last edited by RastaMouse; 31-10-2011 at 18:50.

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    I stopped myself from going to the GP so many times thinking, it's a normal part of motherhood. I thought I needed a date night, time alone or a night out with friends... None of that was what I needed. The only time I really did begin me recovery was when I saw my GP, started to see a psychologist & antidepressants.

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    EveLouise... I know it's difficult to see your doctor. I went to my GP so many times & came up with something else to talk to them about. It wasn't until I went in asking for cosmetic surgery that my GP asked me if I was feeling down. That's when I broke down & told her I think I have PND... It was hard admitting it but it was the best thing I've ever done.
    You're not alone.

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    Eve Louise,

    Reading your post I was nodding my head thinking I could have written this a month ago. I have very recently been diagnosed with PND and like you was worrying about everything, lacking motivation and the biggest thing was snapping at my husband over everything. I spent most days in tears and feeling so flat and miserable and just going through the motions to get through the day. I have chosen to try antidepressants and so far they are really helping me feel much more in control of my emotions and so much calmer and happier.

    Have a chat to your GP or alternatively your child health nurse and they will be able give you the options available to you.

    You are doing an amazing job and it's hard work being a mum of two and you have made a very important step by opening up on here that you are worried about how you feel. Please pm me if you need to chat further xxx

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    inkognito is offline Moving on is simple, its what you leave behind which makes it hard
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    Evelouise you have already been given alot of great advice i just wanted to offer support and say please go and see your GP and have a chat, your mental health is so important, as you can see many of the above mummies have been in a similar place (myself included) and reaching out was the best thing they could do for themselves, their children and thier DH's. Goodluck i know its hard but you can do it and as MIM has said there is alot of support available both here on the hub and out in the wider community you just have to ask for it

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    I wanted to let you know another side.
    My dh was diagnosed with pnd. He came off the drugs after being on them for 9 months, about, 6 weeks ago.
    He's doing really well and is his same old self now.
    Make sure that you are happy with your doctor, if not, change until you find one that seems to understand you. My dh went thru a few to get decent advice.
    I am sending you hugs and chocolate.xx

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