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  1. #1
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    Default Need some encouragement to go on....

    Well I guess I really just need to vent, it's so hard not being able to talk to family and friends about our ttc journey, but we didn't want the added pressure of constantly being asked are you pregnant yet.

    Now it appears, we had good reason to do so, as we have just found out that hubby isn't producing any sperm. It may be a development issue or a hormonal issue and he has to undergo further tests, but it is uncertain whether he will ever be able to father our children (biologically at least).

    I love him to bits and will stand by him no matter what and consider all our options, but it's quite soul destroying to find out, especially when we wanted a little baby so much.

    To top it off I got an email at work to say that one of the girls is pregnant with her first and she is so super excited and I found it so difficult to be happy for her and I feel so terrible about that.

    Anyways, thanks for listening xox

  2. #2
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    I am sorry to hear this hun. It can be a lot of pressure when you tell family but it also can be a great support network if you are close to them. They love you and your husband so if you can share with them it might be really helpful for you.

    I personally suffered with infertility for 4 years before falling pregnant and there are many options available to help these days.

    Its hard when others announce their pregnancy .... very hard!
    Thinking about you both.

  3. #3
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    I can't imagine what you're going through, but it's not the end. You never know what further tests will reveal.

    I have only told my sister and my best friend that we are TTC - and that's bad enough. Both of them, of course, are now pregnant, so I understand how hard it is for you.

    Big hugs and positive thoughts to you both!

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by spikeyhedgehog View Post
    I am sorry to hear this hun. It can be a lot of pressure when you tell family but it also can be a great support network if you are close to them. They love you and your husband so if you can share with them it might be really helpful for you.

    I personally suffered with infertility for 4 years before falling pregnant and there are many options available to help these days.

    Its hard when others announce their pregnancy .... very hard!
    Thinking about you both.
    Thanks so much for your kind words, you have no idea what it means to me. Unfortunately I am not that close to my Mum and I don't have any brothers or sisters so it's a bit hard to talk to anyone, especially when we have just moved to a new town and don't know anyone....plus most of my friends aren't really at the point in their lives of trying for babies so can't relate

    You are a very brave woman coping with infertility for four years and it's lovely to hear you were eventually successful! xox

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by angelini View Post
    I can't imagine what you're going through, but it's not the end. You never know what further tests will reveal.

    I have only told my sister and my best friend that we are TTC - and that's bad enough. Both of them, of course, are now pregnant, so I understand how hard it is for you.

    Big hugs and positive thoughts to you both!
    Thanks honey, how long have you been trying to conceive? It's nice to hear that you do have some support too, but it would be really hard when they are both pregnant.

  6. #6
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    Hi, just wanted to say I am in a similar place, although I had the advantage of knowing very early in our relationship about DF's low count, morphology and motility. However we found out last week that he is now producing nothing, and it is most likely a developmental problem that cannot be helped.

    We are very lucky in that he has five frozen straws of semen from a few years ago which may be enough to get us pg, but we are facing the very real possibility that we might have to get a donor.

    As a PP said, you never know what your further tests may reveal, but if you have to use a donor, it's crushing, especially for our men, but not the end of the world. I do have concerns about my DF bonding with a baby not biologically his, but I'm sure my concerns are unfounded.

    Best of luck to you hun.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sariele View Post
    Hi, just wanted to say I am in a similar place, although I had the advantage of knowing very early in our relationship about DF's low count, morphology and motility. However we found out last week that he is now producing nothing, and it is most likely a developmental problem that cannot be helped.

    We are very lucky in that he has five frozen straws of semen from a few years ago which may be enough to get us pg, but we are facing the very real possibility that we might have to get a donor.

    As a PP said, you never know what your further tests may reveal, but if you have to use a donor, it's crushing, especially for our men, but not the end of the world. I do have concerns about my DF bonding with a baby not biologically his, but I'm sure my concerns are unfounded.

    Best of luck to you hun.
    It's never good to hear someone else is in a similar bad place, but thank you for the supportive words and please feel free to keep in contact also if you need to talk, vent etc as I am pretty sure I know what you are going through.

    I completely understand your concerns that DF won't bond with a baby that is biologically not his, I also have the same concern but I suppose we just have to place trust in them and be as supportive as possible. My DH is crushed having only just found out that there is any sort of problem, we are still to undergo all the tests to find out the exact reason but the doctor seems to think it is probably a developmental issue as well as hormonal. If he has produced any they may be able to extract them via a needle but otherwise, I think there is a very real possibility that we will also need a donor. I know that donor sperm is well screened but I still worry about diseases and congenital defects that we would not be aware of but ultimately I really would love us to have a family so I think the benefits outweigh the risks.

    Big hugs to you both xox

  8. #8
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    to you
    I to went through 3 years of TTC but i was the issue not DH, we told our families that we were trying and it has brought my mum and i a lot closer cause she took 9 years to concieve me. We have just found out that i'm 6w pregnant after our 4th round of injections.
    Good luck with your appointments i hope you get some good news
    My Cousin was a sperm doner baby, i'm not sure if she has ever been told and to her my uncle was always and has always been her dad.

  9. #9
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    big big big congratulations on your BFP, great news after so long.

    To top it off, I suspect there may be issues from my side too, I also have to have some tests, that's what sparked off DH's problems being found out.

    It's really tough but it sounds like there is always hope, I just wasn't expecting the double blow of DH's issue.

    Thank you for the hugs...really appreciated xox

    Quote Originally Posted by hoping28 View Post
    to you
    I to went through 3 years of TTC but i was the issue not DH, we told our families that we were trying and it has brought my mum and i a lot closer cause she took 9 years to concieve me. We have just found out that i'm 6w pregnant after our 4th round of injections.
    Good luck with your appointments i hope you get some good news
    My Cousin was a sperm doner baby, i'm not sure if she has ever been told and to her my uncle was always and has always been her dad.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by angel382 View Post
    It's never good to hear someone else is in a similar bad place, but thank you for the supportive words and please feel free to keep in contact also if you need to talk, vent etc as I am pretty sure I know what you are going through.
    Thanks, it'd be nice to have a friend on here who is going through the same thing. xx

    I completely understand your concerns that DF won't bond with a baby that is biologically not his, I also have the same concern but I suppose we just have to place trust in them and be as supportive as possible.
    Yes. And I have faith in my DF; I pointed out in conversation the other night that he took on the role as Daddy to his ex-wife's child quite easily and whole-heartedly, and he agreed. He did admit that he wouldn't really know how he would initially feel about a child which was not "his". But I am sure with support and possibly counselling he'd get there.

    My DH is crushed having only just found out that there is any sort of problem, we are still to undergo all the tests to find out the exact reason but the doctor seems to think it is probably a developmental issue as well as hormonal.
    This is most likely DF's problem too. TMI, but let's just say he is inadequately formed in the testicular dept, plus has low testosterone (not sure if or how much that affects sperm production?). My poor sweetie. He wants kids almost as badly as me, and he confessed that if I let this get to me more than I have, he would probably fall apart a little as well. I think my hope and strength is helping to keep him strong.

    Hugs to you guys too.


 

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