Wedding etiquette - what annoys you?

[Clementine Grace]

Also agree with pp, I think it's poor form to ask people to be bridesmaids or in your wedding party, then expect them to buy their own dress and shoes/makeup etc. If you ask them to be in your wedding party, you should dress them. We are paying for all the dresses/shoes/hair/makeup and the hire of the boys suits. I'd be mortified to ask someone to be in my bridal party and ask them to pay for the dress I chose, for my wedding.

[jesssalee]

I can't believe how many people are against money as gifts.

I'll be including a card in the invite asking for money as opposed to gifts for our wedding. I don't see it as 'money grubbing' or 'taking away the real focus of the day' at all. I see it as, say what you like, but it is the tradition for guests to give gifts of some sort at a wedding - just the way it is. I would rather give our guests some guidance as to what we actually need than receive a bunch of things we don't. I don't think it's selfish, it's just the way it goes at weddings.

That being said, these gifts are not 'required' or 'expected', so if anyone chose not to, that's fine.

[Clementine Grace]

I can't believe how many people are against money as gifts.

I'll be including a card in the invite asking for money as opposed to gifts for our wedding. I don't see it as 'money grubbing' or 'taking away the real focus of the day' at all. I see it as, say what you like, but it is the tradition for guests to give gifts of some sort at a wedding - just the way it is. I would rather give our guests some guidance as to what we actually need than receive a bunch of things we don't. I don't think it's selfish, it's just the way it goes at weddings.

That being said, these gifts are not 'required' or 'expected', so if anyone chose not to, that's fine.

I dont think anyone is saying its selfish? I personally don't think its selfish and i can see the sense in it, it's just not for me. Some people would rather just not ask for a gift at all and leave it up to the guests. Personally, everyone coming our wedding is very close to us so they know what kind of stuff we like, or they would ask us if they were stuck.

Asking for money though, sort of does make it "required" i mean you cant turn up empty handed, and people always feel they have to give more than they can probably afford. We had 3 weddings within 3 months, and it was $300 a pop (which was the "expected amount" per couple). People might feel bad putting in $40 if its all they can afford that week.

Just horses for courses every wedding is different. Asking for money is certainly the norm now i think.

[sandy_1902]

i honestly dont think anything. i have only been a bride,

I would be happy to buy my own things.
and i think why cant a bride be a bit bridezillery on her wedding day.

We had a wishing well and we got all ranges of money we loved everything. i think some people just over think how the person will react to say a 20 or so.. or maybe im strange and am the only bride in the world who was happy people gave her a 20.. was more then i had before.



If i was a bridesmaid i would be more the happy to listen to the bride complain buy my own things.. its a one day think i could put up with it

[Ishtyban]

my sisters wedding was awful!

i still do not really speak to her.

my hates all revolve around her wedding.

organising an OS wedding with 7 day itinerary that involves a 9 hour flight, 2 , 1 hour bus trips and 2 , 2 hour ferry trips.

asking me to organise the hens but also asking the SIL and not telling me.

yelling at me in middle of hens for trying to take over SIL's plans.

making me wear a coral dress that cost an arm and a leg

asking me if ok to sit me next to stepdad and even though i said no, do it anyway.

tell me you dont want me to speak, your bestie wants too...then change your mind and ask me but the change your mind and say..oh you can just do a short one.

buy a thank you present for other 5 bridesmaids but not me as my ears are not pierced.

ask me to bring whole family over to thailand as want my dd as flowergirl, when i say no have a tanty and tell everyone how selfish i am.

get your friends dd to be flowergirl and then comment on how she is the best flower girl in the world and no one could be better.

while i am in bed with burst ear drum, ***** about me to all family and friends.

on day i am leaving at midday, say sorry i cant come and say goodbye i am too tired.


ask me if i put in to wishing well as some money didnt have names and you wanted to account for it!!!!!!


**** offffff

[jesssalee]

i honestly dont think anything. i have only been a bride,

I would be happy to buy my own things.
and i think why cant a bride be a bit bridezillery on her wedding day.

We had a wishing well and we got all ranges of money we loved everything. i think some people just over think how the person will react to say a 20 or so.. or maybe im strange and am the only bride in the world who was happy people gave her a 20.. was more then i had before.



If i was a bridesmaid i would be more the happy to listen to the bride complain buy my own things.. its a one day think i could put up with it

Agreed with everything.

Sorry, hormones made my last post sound way more defensive than I meant it to
(damn hormones)

I totally agree that any amount, or none, in a wishing well is fine, I just don't want presents, but understand that for the majority of my friends and family, this is not an option

At the end of the day, it's just one day, and really just the beginning of the couples life together. It seems like things only go bad when the couple forgets that.

Also, a pet hate, drunk bridesmaids.

I love my sister to death, but at my cousins wedding a few years back, she and one of the other bridesmaids got completely wasted during the photos. It was just a big mess, and I ended up being the only bridesmaid who was sober enough to attend to the brides needs. She was only 19 at the time, maybe we should have known better than to put her in the bridal party lol.

I also hate how there always seems to be one family member who has too much to drink and starts crying/ bringing up old arguments and issues. Too much drama

[delirium]

my thread has been revived LOL

I dont think anyone is saying its selfish? I personally don't think its selfish and i can see the sense in it, it's just not for me. Some people would rather just not ask for a gift at all and leave it up to the guests. Personally, everyone coming our wedding is very close to us so they know what kind of stuff we like, or they would ask us if they were stuck.

Asking for money though, sort of does make it "required" i mean you cant turn up empty handed, and people always feel they have to give more than they can probably afford. We had 3 weddings within 3 months, and it was $300 a pop (which was the "expected amount" per couple). People might feel bad putting in $40 if its all they can afford that week.

Just horses for courses every wedding is different. Asking for money is certainly the norm now i think.

pretty much this. We left it up to the guests what they wished to give, be it money or gifts. Everyone knew we were defacto for 6 years so we didn't get the toaster and kettle type presents, so unless you are inviting strangers, they are going to know whether you are set up with the old school type wedding gifts.

As above, I just think asking for money puts pressure on people to give what they can't afford. I might pick a gorgeous gift half price from $60 to $30, it's still a quality gift. But I'd feeling stingy giving $30 cash.

I just think many brides have forgotten the true meaning of getting married. it isn't about demanding bridesmaids fork out a fortune for an ugly dress they hate and will never wear again, demanding money, basically being bridezillas. It's about sharing a special day with your loved ones. If they gave me nothing I could care less, and I wouldn't want guests forking out a fortune in outfits and gifts.

Weddings have become so high maintenance

[Ishtyban]

i was just happy my guests could attend.

we got no presents and i liked that.

[delirium]

i was just happy my guests could attend.

Same. One person was a single mum and gave us a used fruit bowl of hers, that's all she could give. I loved it. I still use that bowl a decade later

[andy90]

*I hate people bringing their young children and then leaving them to be cared for by other people (including the bride) while you drink.

*Bridesmaids trying to steal the spot light by making a speech all about themselves.

* people allowing their kids to roam around and do what they like without any adult supervision