I wonder if i can have a tiny vent.
We have an (unplanned but happily anticipated) baby due early jan.
My partner and I have taken over my family farm - the big harvest of the year lasts for 3 months, and starts on the due date, uncanny...
the harvest includes having up to 10 seasonal workers (usually they live with us in the house, this year we are hoping they will put up with tents and facilities in the packing shed- still to be added)
we supply their food, train them, quality control, deliver the goods 2x a week to hobart, take the fruit to a weekly market so we have some cash flow early in the season.
we are quite broke- as the farm only makes money in that short season. my partner works full time on the farm, and squeezes in a tiny bit of contracting work on other farms. my job is pretty physical, and i'm expecting to quit in the next month - leaving 8 weeks of almost no income (c'link incapacity to work)
our delivery vehicle just broke down in a serious way, like, $3000 to fix or at least that to replace. we need to pay about $4000 of costs to start the season-food for the workers, packaging, freight..
in the meantime, we are moving into the farmhouse, with my dad (for a little while, while he finishes building his cottage) the house is a mess, desperately needs new carpet, curtains and paint, and a lot of cleaning. some renovations would go a long way -i'm not talking about creating luxery, talking about replacing rotting timber,fixing doors that won't close.. that sort of thing.
so we have 11 weeks to fit out the shed, reno and move into the house, fix the ute or find a new one, build about a kilometre of fencing (for stock) and my grandmother keeps saying 'have you painted the babies room yet!!?' aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i have a few friends due the same month- their facebooked photos of the decorated, ready, clean baby room make me want to cry!
i feel like we might, maybe just squeeze by, try and borrow some money, borrow a vehicle for the first few weeks - and, well, have a baby...will i be able to shop and cook for ten when i'm 2 weeks overdue, or with a newborn?
Will he be able to wake up and do 12 hour days on the farm with the kind of sleep new parents get?
WELL ............................ yes. we will. BUT
we are never having sex during the month of april again, this is so stressful!
yep, i'm whinging, i'm asking for it - (i try not to gush these issues at innocent friends, relatives or aquaintences - total strangers have copped an earful here and there!!) and my partner is a bit knife edge with stress. i am aware that its quite possible to give birth on a dirt floor in a hut in the desert, with NO pram, No government $, no medical support. remembering that makes me feel better. I will mop the floor prior to our homebirth though.
So - if you made it to the end of my selfish rant, thanks for reading, send me some strength if you have any to spare, or a winning lotto ticket, or a pair of earplugs.
I'm going to go and meditate, or grit my teeth, while i scrape some scum off the kitchen.