I'm completely overwhelmed!

**J San** · 18-10-2011 10:21

Hi,
I wonder if i can have a tiny vent.
We have an (unplanned but happily anticipated) baby due early jan.
My partner and I have taken over my family farm - the big harvest of the year lasts for 3 months, and starts on the due date, uncanny...

the harvest includes having up to 10 seasonal workers (usually they live with us in the house, this year we are hoping they will put up with tents and facilities in the packing shed- still to be added)

we supply their food, train them, quality control, deliver the goods 2x a week to hobart, take the fruit to a weekly market so we have some cash flow early in the season.

we are quite broke- as the farm only makes money in that short season. my partner works full time on the farm, and squeezes in a tiny bit of contracting work on other farms. my job is pretty physical, and i'm expecting to quit in the next month - leaving 8 weeks of almost no income (c'link incapacity to work)
our delivery vehicle just broke down in a serious way, like, $3000 to fix or at least that to replace. we need to pay about $4000 of costs to start the season-food for the workers, packaging, freight..

in the meantime, we are moving into the farmhouse, with my dad (for a little while, while he finishes building his cottage) the house is a mess, desperately needs new carpet, curtains and paint, and a lot of cleaning. some renovations would go a long way -i'm not talking about creating luxery, talking about replacing rotting timber,fixing doors that won't close.. that sort of thing.

so we have 11 weeks to fit out the shed, reno and move into the house, fix the ute or find a new one, build about a kilometre of fencing (for stock) and my grandmother keeps saying 'have you painted the babies room yet!!?' aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i have a few friends due the same month- their facebooked photos of the decorated, ready, clean baby room make me want to cry!
i feel like we might, maybe just squeeze by, try and borrow some money, borrow a vehicle for the first few weeks - and, well, have a baby...will i be able to shop and cook for ten when i'm 2 weeks overdue, or with a newborn?
Will he be able to wake up and do 12 hour days on the farm with the kind of sleep new parents get?
WELL ............................ yes. we will. BUT

we are never having sex during the month of april again, this is so stressful!

yep, i'm whinging, i'm asking for it - (i try not to gush these issues at innocent friends, relatives or aquaintences - total strangers have copped an earful here and there!!) and my partner is a bit knife edge with stress. i am aware that its quite possible to give birth on a dirt floor in a hut in the desert, with NO pram, No government $, no medical support. remembering that makes me feel better. I will mop the floor prior to our homebirth though.

So - if you made it to the end of my selfish rant, thanks for reading, send me some strength if you have any to spare, or a winning lotto ticket, or a pair of earplugs.
I'm going to go and meditate, or grit my teeth, while i scrape some scum off the kitchen.

**bet3** · 18-10-2011 10:32

Jsan, I hope somehow it all falls into place in time and u and ur partner are able to enjoy being new parents. ((hugs))

**Rice** · 18-10-2011 10:46

Wow - I'd be concerned if you weren't overwelmed, that's a LOT for anyone to handle!

No advice...just wishing you lots of luck!!!

(this isn't meant to be a dig...but) my partner & I are still trying for our first bub after 18mths of IVF, we have a lovely home ready & are financially secure and we'd give it all up to finally be expecting - guess I'm really just saying please find a way to enjoy it all despite the stress

**J San** · 18-10-2011 14:22

I know -
My problems are first world and superficial.
My life is good in a lot of ways, I was searching for a way to relieve the pressure i'm feeling in an anonymous way, probably because I know that whilst it is a busy stressful time, I'm pretty bloody lucky in other ways. And that is kind of embarrassing to admit.
All strength to you with your conception - and thank you both for the kind words.

**second baby not so easy** · 18-10-2011 14:25

Omg, this make my stressing about our front yard, nursery, x-mas etc seem small

I really dont know how you do it but goodluck

**duckduckgoose** · 18-10-2011 14:30

Good luck with it all!

**MilkiCuddles** · 18-10-2011 14:34

I hope you feel better getting all of that out!!

Take it as it comes, your whole world is about to be turned upside (in the best way possible!) and you'll find that you will get by as you have to for your little bub. (They don't care if their room isn't painted beautifully, they just want you

)

I wish I could come and help you! All the best

**Etienne** · 18-10-2011 14:35

J San that's a lot on your plate! But you sound incredibly smart, well organised and even optimistic lol vent away as all our experiences are valid and worthy of a whinge! Goodluck to you, it sounds like it'll be tough but after the season (?) it will hopefully settle into place for you.

**wrena** · 18-10-2011 16:10

Arrgh, sounds tough. If it makes you feel better, newborns don't tend to like their own rooms or prams and the official SIDS&Kids recommendation is for babies to room share with their parents for at least the first six months. If you get a good sling you can still do lots with a newborn happily sleeping on you and even breastfeed on the go. Good luck!