Hi. Gals I am an ex-IVF er after 7 attempts gave up. Undetectable fertility was my prognosis. We are also ex-intercountry adoption. Gave up because my DH has kidney disease and considered the likelyhood of DOCs accepting us as a snowballs chance in hell. They even said this not us.
My last cycle was last November. I enrolled in University this year and I have been nailing it. I am so proud of myself and I have managed to take my mind off my pain. Now I find that a few of my friends have fallen pg or had babies and they have been oh so keen to sms the news or tell me face to face and talk incessantly about morning sickness. I actually forgot how much this hurt. And to be honest I am hurt that one of my friends chose me and said she was pg and had told no one but me: 'out of all people I wanted to tell you the most' WTF? Is there some sadistic need to torture the childless? I am now lying awake wondering how I can fake wanting to go and hold her baby or go to a baby shower or pretend I can be there for her. I can't. And I won't. I don't want to hear blow by blow details of her morning sickness. In a way being busy made me forget that this has not stopped for me. I cannot turn this pain off like a tap. Why do my friends think we can? Me and my DH were down the road getting some Thai take away and he got an sms from another of our friends who lives out of Sydney that said: 'we must catch up because I want you to meet my baby!' They all know our journey. Seems like in their joy they don't care to remember our pain. I must say I am handling this worse than my DH who tells me that maybe I should talk to someone, and that he is over it. So now I am. Well he can do baby showers and I won't. I guarantee you he is doing the typical male thing of slamming his feelings right down and will fall to pieces one day soon.
Did I rant? I am glad there is a place I am not a freak. What do you do about all this? How long does it take?