Newbie

[electra68]

Hi. Gals I am an ex-IVF er after 7 attempts gave up. Undetectable fertility was my prognosis. We are also ex-intercountry adoption. Gave up because my DH has kidney disease and considered the likelyhood of DOCs accepting us as a snowballs chance in hell. They even said this not us.
My last cycle was last November. I enrolled in University this year and I have been nailing it. I am so proud of myself and I have managed to take my mind off my pain. Now I find that a few of my friends have fallen pg or had babies and they have been oh so keen to sms the news or tell me face to face and talk incessantly about morning sickness. I actually forgot how much this hurt. And to be honest I am hurt that one of my friends chose me and said she was pg and had told no one but me: 'out of all people I wanted to tell you the most' WTF? Is there some sadistic need to torture the childless? I am now lying awake wondering how I can fake wanting to go and hold her baby or go to a baby shower or pretend I can be there for her. I can't. And I won't. I don't want to hear blow by blow details of her morning sickness. In a way being busy made me forget that this has not stopped for me. I cannot turn this pain off like a tap. Why do my friends think we can? Me and my DH were down the road getting some Thai take away and he got an sms from another of our friends who lives out of Sydney that said: 'we must catch up because I want you to meet my baby!' They all know our journey. Seems like in their joy they don't care to remember our pain. I must say I am handling this worse than my DH who tells me that maybe I should talk to someone, and that he is over it. So now I am. Well he can do baby showers and I won't. I guarantee you he is doing the typical male thing of slamming his feelings right down and will fall to pieces one day soon.
Did I rant? I am glad there is a place I am not a freak. What do you do about all this? How long does it take?

[electra68]

OOps. Did not realise there was an introductions thread. Sigh! Been a long week.

[electra68]

Goana. I am sorry to hear of your miscarriage. I have never had one and cannot imagine how hard it would have been going back to work....My you are brave doing child care. I ran an Out of School Hours Centre and resigned last year. I did IVF twice during it and it almost sent me insane. I don't miss it. My assistant got pg before I left and I knew everyone would be baby crazy. I am effectively retraining after all. Did I mention I don't miss it? Being with the little ones must be harder. I felt I was getting bitter cleaning up poo and vomit whilst parents went off to their corporate jobs and I really felt underappreciated it. I really hated it by the end. I was in a bit of a snooty area, mind you. I hated hearing the stories of the kids who felt their parents did not understand them, or ringing DOCs in cases where you were told of abuse. I made a pact with myself to retrain or else! It must be hard to be in your twenties because they are all having babies. In some respects most people my age have done it. Me and my DH are so socially isolated as well. And more and more are having kids and we will be the ones left out on the weekend when they all plan kiddies parties and swimming lessons and go away together.

[electra68]

I really felt underappreciated it.

It is amazing what poor lighting and a few glasses of red can do to your grammar.

I wanted to thank the moderators as well for this thread. I subscribed to a different forum during IVF, but apparently when you aren't successful and give up you disappear off the radar.

[jackie7]

Can people read the fricking sticky here or what.

Actually maybe the mods could do something about making this area of the forum application only.

electra68 your experience and mine sound very similar!


ANyone (woops anyhow) off to post to the mods to see if they can do something