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  1. #11
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    I sadly have lost both fallopian tubes this year due to ectopics. IVF is the ONLY way i can ever have a baby of my own EVER AGAIN. One was in May the other was in September. I'm still struggling every day to come to terms with what we've been through. I don't want to have an IVF baby...But i HAVE to because after having my DS (who is 2.5) i now know that i do want more children and i'll do whatever it takes to get them. I'm a nurse and i look after the ladies after their EPU and i know what that procedure entails. I work with my FS/GYN and he is just asupset as i am that we have gone through what we have this year. But he is so confident it will happen if not the first then at least the second cycle.
    As to the love? well, how much love do you want? my husband has stood by my side every step of the way and is just as upset and angry as i am. He has been my rock and as picked me up off the floor more times than i can count and he is not going anywhere. To him, Its not just the only way I can have a baby, but its the only way HE can have a baby. Is that not love?
    I hope you can come to terms with the IVF process and accept its what you have to do...trust me, once that child is in your arms, you'll be glad you did it. Everyone deserves to have children if they want them...even the ones who fall preg easily, and the ones who others judge 'don't deserve them'

  2. #12
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    Sounds to me that your perhaps not in the right mindset just yet to do ivf. Have you thought of counselling to help overcome your fears, anxiety, guilt etc.

    I see our children as extra special and our little miracles after what we have been through to get them here. They certainly were born out of more love even though conceived in a dish. In the end they are ours biologically and it doesn't matter how they were conceived. We are fortunate the technology is available to enable us to become parents.
    Last edited by Blessedwith3boys; 03-10-2011 at 10:28.

  3. #13
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    Hugs! I had all the same fears about whether it was right or not, but I think that is because until it happens to you you don't really think bout it and when it does it is a whole lot of info to process, but as others have said there Is a whole lot of love involved and who else has baby photos at just a few days old, a a blastocyst etc.. Now that is just cool take your time and don't rush in but when you are ready you will know xxx

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by jennibear View Post
    I must admit i was 'one of those people' who thought IVF was wrong, but that was before i was involved with friends doing it.
    My argument was always...if you cant get pregnant natually theres probably a reason
    TBH until my DF told me after we started dating that it was our only option to have kids in the future, I used to feel a little this way too. But I think what I was actually annoyed at were women who were way beyond child-bearing age who would undertake IVF, especially if they already had kids. It is not right for someone who is almost at menopausal age (note: I am NOT referring to women who have early onset menopause, that is entirely different), almost old enough to be a grandma, to be having babies. It is irresponsible to the woman's health and the potential baby's. I know that fertility clinics would probably have controls in place for this kind of thing, but I know it still happens..

    Sorry, went way OT then! *gets off soapbox*

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to Sariele For This Useful Post:

    Anyanka  (03-10-2011)

  6. #15
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    The only thing that scared me about IVF was the price (oh, and the needles ). Conceiving, pregnancy and childbirth are all things that people tend to romanticise in our society - we want it to be naturally conceived, we want to pregnancy to be a time of wonder, we want childbirth to feel like a miracle (and maybe we are even optimistic enough to think we'll do it without any pain relief!). The fact is, the journey doesn't mean squat - it doesn't matter how the kid gets there, I already feel cr*p even though I am only almost 6 weeks, and what matters most is that the kid comes out healthy, whether it popped out effortlessly, needed forceps, caesarian etc - those things don't matter. I just see it as sentimental rubbish that would be nice, but really doesn't have as much value as people place on it.

    IVF has some plusses that you don't know about until you go through it. We got to find out if I had follicles via ultrasound, well before they were picked up. We knew how many embryos we had to play with well before any were put in there. Best of all, I got to see my little embryo on a big screen just before they put it in, which was amazing . I f

    I got sick with ohss, and my symptoms got worse when the embryo started releasing hormones. DH watched in amazement as I got over my needle phobia and threw myself into the whole process. If you already have love, this will make it stronger.

    I got pregnant on my first cycle and I hope you have the same thing .

  7. #16
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    The only thing that scared me about IVF was the price (oh, and the needles ). Conceiving, pregnancy and childbirth are all things that people tend to romanticise in our society - we want it to be naturally conceived, we want to pregnancy to be a time of wonder, we want childbirth to feel like a miracle (and maybe we are even optimistic enough to think we'll do it without any pain relief!). The fact is, the journey doesn't mean squat - it doesn't matter how the kid gets there, I already feel cr*p even though I am only almost 6 weeks, and what matters most is that the kid comes out healthy, whether it popped out effortlessly, needed forceps, caesarian etc - those things don't matter. I just see it as sentimental rubbish that would be nice, but really doesn't have as much value as people place on it.

    IVF has some plusses that you don't know about until you go through it. We got to find out if I had follicles via ultrasound, well before they were picked up. We knew how many embryos we had to play with well before any were put in there. Best of all, I got to see my little embryo on a big screen just before they put it in, which was amazing . I f

    I got sick with ohss, and my symptoms got worse when the embryo started releasing hormones. DH watched in amazement as I got over my needle phobia and threw myself into the whole process. If you already have love, this will make it stronger.

    I got pregnant on my first cycle and I hope you have the same thing .

  8. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ellymoe View Post
    I just see it as sentimental rubbish that would be nice, but really doesn't have as much value as people place on it.
    OMG, sooo incredibly true! Lol. I just want the end result -- healthy babies. I don't care how it happens!

    My DF and I were also saying the other night that if our future kids ever give us any of that "you don't love me/want me" crap when they're being brats, we can explain IVF to them (once they're old enough to understand), so they can see how badly we did want them and what we went through to bring them into the world. Meanwhile they probably won't give a toss, but they might find it interesting at least. Lol.

  9. #18
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    Ahhaha! Sariele, I was planning the same thing! Andif our kids ever say "you don't own me!", I'll whip out the receipts I've kept from my IVF and say "Yes I do, I paid good money for you!"

  10. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ellymoe View Post
    Ahhaha! Sariele, I was planning the same thing! Andif our kids ever say "you don't own me!", I'll whip out the receipts I've kept from my IVF and say "Yes I do, I paid good money for you!"
    Ohhhhhhh, that's awesome!! I'm totally going to do that too!

  11. #20
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    I personally dont find it insulting that your opinion on IVF about children being concieved in petrie dishes not loved. Its your opinion and your entitled to it.

    Yes it is a little scary, but you got to work out whether your need to have a child outweighs the scariness of IVF.

    I did IVF because of MFI (male factor infertility) there are many reasons why someone needs IVF. We had to have a sperm donor to concieve and it wasn't my DH fault as he has a genetic condition preventing us from using him.

    Is there anything you would like to ask us in regards to IVF??

    Yes there are people on here that will jump on you the moment you say anything they don't like. My tip IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE them. Everyone IMO is very titled to their opinion.

    And good luck with whatever you decide.

    Funny thing we always laugh when we drive past the place where our DD was concieved. Saying you were concieved here. Mum and dad weren't even here much less in the back seat. hahahaa

    Anyanka


 

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