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  1. #1
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    Default IVF - scared!!!!!!!!!!!

    We have just signed up for government assisted IVF treatment through Concept/King Eddies in Perth and I have to say im terrified. I always said Id never do IVF as i didnt want it to be so intrusive and un-natural etc etc but after 4+ years of trying and having 2 laproscopic removals of endo, one round of ovulation stimulation through Hollywood, we are kidnof at our wits end. Also being 36 time is against us

    I am so scared about what to expect and getting my hopes up and ending up having to do years of invasive treatments. I had almost resigned myself to being childless and just borrowing everyone elses kids (who all seem to have NO issues getting UTD and just have to look at their hubby to conceive) but one try couldnt hurt too much right?

    The FS said "its a very routine procedure nowdays" but it still makes me feel ill to think our child will be conceived in a petri dish and not through love

  2. #2
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    Umm, CJWA, it's kind of insulting to a lot of women, on this forum in particular, to say that a child conceived through IVF makes you feel ill and to suggest that couples who need IVF to have a child either don't love each other or that child.

  3. #3
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    i didnt say that. Seriously, my first post and im attacked?? i thought this was a place for support no matter how you feel.

    I honestly would have thought it was a natural thought that maybe not many people feel comfortable enough to admit to.
    Last edited by CJWA; 03-10-2011 at 08:30.

  4. #4
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    I can definitely understand where you're coming from, and I find myself at times disappointed that we most likely won't ever fall pg naturally. But I have quite a positive attitude to IVF; as I mentioned in another thread, I see it as a much more effective way for DF and I to have a baby, as the chances of getting pregnant per IVF cycle are often (depending on the individual case) much higher than those of a normal fertile couple who are madly DTD every cycle. For example our FS said fertile couples have a 15-20% chance of falling each month they try, whereas with our particular case we should have a 40-50% chance each time we try IVF. So yes, expensive and invasive, but with DF having MFI, I'd rather go straight into IVF and have a decent crack at a baby than just DTD for years on end with a 1 in 1 million vague hope that maybe we can do it on our own.

    So far we are only getting tests done, but really, it's not scary. These people want you to get UTD too; they're just here to lend a helping hand. Just because the baby spends it's first 3-5 days out of the body doesn't mean it's not "conceived by love". I mean really, how romantic is it when you are DTD with the express purpose of trying to get pg anyway?? "Hey honey, my cervical mucous looks awesome, and I just peed on a stick which told me that I should be ovulating in the next 24 hours, so come on, into the bedroom, and you better not let me down..."

  5. #5
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    Thankyou Sariele, and yes you are right....I know its a mindset I need to get out of, but its hard. When you try for so long you end up feeling like a failier and not 'womanly' enough. and in our case its all my fault, as my hubby has super sperm, so I feel bad enough as it is, and with the fact that I cant do it naturally when our bodies are supposed to do it with no problems its hard to comprehend at times.

  6. #6
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    I think it is only natural to feel scared before going through your first IVF cycle. I remember going to my first appointment with the nurse to find out all about it and ended up in tears at the thought of not falling pregnant naturally. After that appt we ended up holding off for a bit longer and started when we felt ready. We now have a beautiful little girl from IVF and I would do it a hundred times over to have her in our lives. Having said that we were lucky enough to conceive her on our second IVF cycle. I'm now back trying for bubba number two. The way I see it we are lucky to have the option of IVF. I often think of those infertile couples prior to the 70's or those in countries were IVF is an absolute luxury that they could never afford and think how lucky we are to have this option.

    You will go through your ups and downs, that is for sure, but you just have to hope that it will be all worth it!!

    My only advice is to do it when you are comfortable with it.

    All the best with your cycle.
    Last edited by Zofar; 03-10-2011 at 08:46.

  7. #7
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    I think it is only natural to feel scared before going through your first IVF cycle. I remember going to my first appointment with the nurse to find out all about it and ended up in tears at the thought of not falling pregnant naturally. After that appt we ended up holding off for a bit longer and started when we felt ready. We now have a beautiful little girl from IVF and I would do it a hundred times over to have her in our lives. Having said that we were lucky enough to conceive her on our second IVF cycle. I'm now back trying for bubba number two. The way I see it we are lucky to have the option of IVF. I often think of those infertile couples prior to the 70's or those in countries were IVF is an absolute luxury that they could never afford and think how lucky we are to have this option.

    You will go through your ups and downs, that is for sure, but you just have to hope that it will be all worth it!!

    My only advice is to do it when you are comfortable with it.

    All the best with your cycle.
    Last edited by Zofar; 03-10-2011 at 08:45.

  8. #8
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    hi there CJWA
    i would like to say your not alone on this subject, my first 2 appointments which were at concept in subiaco i was immediately in tears when i had finished both and feeling like a failure. i have done two failed rounds so far and hopefully starting again soon but i will never give up, similar to yourself I have been trying for 2 and half years(feels like 4 or forever as i say!) and every month that goes by without what i want gets harder and harder.
    just one thing if you are going thru concept the staff are really helpful.
    goodluck with your journey

  9. #9
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    Hi CWJA, I'm sorry if it came across as a personal attack, which obviously it did. Your post hit a nerve as it reminded me that there are people out there (not necessarily you) who think there is something wrong with a child conceived through IVF and that such a child is not born out of love. Such ignorance is so depressing. Personally, I think couples and singles who can survive the IVF journey have a very strong bond and much stronger than that of many people who conceive without meaning to or without having to really try. I'm sorry if you felt attacked and I sincerely wish you all the best in your IVF journey.

  10. #10
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    I just wanted to say, im sure its totally natural to feel a little diapointed tht you need to take these stpes to have a baby. Ive been fortunate enough to be able to conceive naturally but i have a few friends who have done IVF. I must admit i was 'one of those people' who thought IVF was wrong, but that was before i was involved with friends doing it.
    My argument was always...if you cant get pregnant natually theres probably a reason ...well, im happy to say im now a 'if your happy to do it, then thats your choice and good on ya'!!
    Like i say, i have been fortunate to be able to conceieve naturally but i KNOW i would have been terribly disapointed if i couldnt.
    Dont feel like a failure, you just need a little help!!
    Good luck with it all!!


 

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