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  1. #1
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    Default Single Mums with newborns/bubs...

    Any single Mums out there with babies out there?

    It drives me a bit insane that I don't have anybody to relate to being a single Mum with a baby - Everyone else I know had a partner when their babies were born even if they're single now.

    So anyone in this situation please come say hi - it will be such a relief to be able to chat to other single parents out there... It's so impssibly hard sometimes that having a group to chat to who really understand will help and we can bounce support off each other.


  2. #2
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    Hey there :-)
    Im a single mumma to 2 beautiful girls! I became single when i was 3 months pregnant with my 2nd. I know what you mean, it is so hard to find someone to relate too!!! I dont really know anyone in the same situation & it sucks!!!
    how old is your little one?
    If you want to chat feel free to pm me :-)

    Sent from my GT-I9000

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    Ellewood  (21-09-2011)

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    Hey

    My DS is a terrible toddler now but I went it alone from 28 weeks pregnant. It's tough but I didn't know how to do it any other way so I got through it!

    I think that DS would be a very different little person if I hadn't gone it alone and not in a good way so for us it was the best thing!

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    Ellewood  (21-09-2011)

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    Hi, mine is almost 8 now, but same situation, two hardest things for me were relating to anybody about the different worries I had about my kids emotional wellbeing and development from lack of fathering presence, and not having that overwhelming love and pride shared by someone else equally as excited.

    And my pet hate and the most offensive thing I hear are ridiculous comments from partnered people saying they feel like a SM when there partners don't help out enough, or there partner is just another child to be looked after!

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    Ellewood  (21-09-2011)

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    Hi Mummas! Thanks for your replies!

    I just find it so isolaing sometimes - I find it works ok when it's just DS and I. But as soon as other people interfere with their 'advice' I just feel like punching them! No-one knows how it feels unless they have been there!

    Whenever there's someone around who can 'pass me the wipes' or dress DS after his bath while I'm getting his dinner ready, I appreciate so much how helpful these little gestures are! Just getting in and out of the car is a nightmare sometimes.

    Going out for dinner with him is impossible so I always turn down dinner invites - but I did go the other night and as predicted, it was a nightmare and no, nobody helped with screaming overtired DS (they always say they'll 'help' but when it comes to the crunch they never do). I got so stressed after an hour of this (and upset for DS being so miserable) that I threw my money on the table and walked out before the food came!

    I love being a parent and love my son more than life itself! But geeps it's hard when you don't get a moment's break or help for days on end... and when people make 'helpful' comments like 'ow you need to do this or that'... or they think they know better because you're just a new parent and they had 4 kids... But they also had a husband/wife/grandparents who helped out a great deal! And NOBODY knows my child better than me so those comments are just redundant imo!

    Ahhh it feels good to have a moan about how terrible other 'well-meaning' people's comments are... ow and lets not forget the pity that comes in truckloads because you're a 'poor single Mum in her mid 30's who's partner left her when she was pregnant even though the pregnancy was planned and gosh what prospects has she got at her age of meeting anyone new'....

    <sigh> I must sincerely apologise for this ridiculous rant!!


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    laurea  (22-09-2011)

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    Don't apologize for the rant! I agreed with everything in that LOL!

    The thing that got me was not being able to join a mums group because I felt so left out being a single mum and didn't want to sit around talking about husbands. In fact, after time, I still dont! I'm incredibly happy doing it on my own. I now know that I can handle anything life throws at me.

  11. #7
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    Am a sole parent. I get some attitude from married mums sometimes. What century are we in? It can be strange when you get treated like an oddity or when everyone is sitting around complaining about their husbands. It can be isolating being a SM, but persevering pays off and you find some more enlightened people who realise you bleed the same colour or you're not there to advocate for divorce.

    When I had DD1 I remember the Maternal and Child Health Nurse telling me not to go to her new mums group, so I turned up anyway.

    I can't remember when I last had a day off or night off. Love my kids though and I have meditation CD's.
    Last edited by StienTheBean; 04-10-2011 at 07:42.

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    I'm hearing you! I DO love that's it's just my little man and me... We're a team.

    The married/partnered Mums don't bother me at all - I know for a fact fpr a lot of them things certainly aren't as rosy as they seem on the surface. I also think that when times are stresfull - as they get with bubs - it puts a lot of strain on relationships because one partner might be putting pressure on the other to 'try this' or 'do it that way'... With me, I always handle the situation myself and don't have to argue with anyone about it. It's very peaceful and content just having me and my bub and I love that Visiting friends houses I sometimes leave thinking thank god my place isn't that hectic!

    I have had a few very supportive people, and I appreciate them SO much! In fact, my ex's Mum/parents have been wonderfully supportive to me - I think they feel terrible that ex left me alone with a baby as we were together for many years and planned our pregnancy.

    It is very hard, but I wouldn't change it for the world - I think I'm a much better person now than I was with my ex, and I can do whatever I want with my future which excites me!

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    Hello
    I'm a single mum of 4, 7 weeks pregnant with 5th. So i will be a single mum with a bub soon. I raised my youngest 2 children on my own so i completely understand where you are coming from.

    It is hard but nice in a way too. You just need a little break here and there and some good girlfriends to help you out without passing judgement

    I don't know where you're from but i'm happy to chat to you here or hang out if you need a friend

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    Ellewood  (23-09-2011)

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    Ow. My. Gosh how on earth do you do it? Hats off to you! You must have loads of energy... Me, I'm tired lol!

    Thanks all for your posts


 

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