sorry in advance if this makes no sense, its written on very little sleep.
To start off with i normally on a day to day basis have a really relationship with my mother in law until ..... my sister inlaw fell pregnant
My relationship with my mother in law struggled when i was pregnant because of clash of opinions on everything and i mean everything. I had so many nights spent in tears due to my fear of not living up to her expectations. She never was nasty nor rude but always made me feel as if i was not doing things right. I only breast fed for a short time and she had something to say about that as she believes in breast feeding for at least the first 12 months, she thinks that disposable nappies are a waste of money, i used them. You should stay at home with your babies until they start school. She used to come around every day and night to come see our kids always around meal times fussing over them trying to play with them and doing much of the same at bed times which was really stressful for me.
Now my sister in law is pregnant, she isnt going to breastfeed is also going to use disposable and going back to work straight away. I asked my mother in law if she was going down for the birth or going to stay with her for a week or so after the baby was born and her reply was oh no they need time to bond as a family alone, where was our time? almost everything my mother in law has shown some kind of disapproval to about parenting she is doing but its all become ok now. This infuriates me, as i feel like she un knowingly made me feel like crap for so long over the ways i would do things and my choices but now has a each to there own opinion with my daughter inlaw and its driving me insane. Knowing my sister inlaw she would of said look this is how im doing it get over it, and i always did to but not as bluntly as she would of.
As i said though, take out children and we have the best relationship ever.
I hold no resentment towards my sister inlaw for getting it slightly easier than me or my mother in law for taking it easier on her and maybe im just hormonal
I really want to confront my mother inlaw and say hey .... but i know it will be put down to my hormones.
My husband thinks its more about my insecurities, and need to please my her than anything else