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  1. #361
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    Helenmac - thank you so much for your reply, that has helped me heaps
    Quick question - how did you find Baby2mom and why did you use them as opposed to gift of life?
    Did you use donor egg and donor sperm in SA? how did you find CFC?

    AFM,
    I will be using donor egg and sperm if and when we go over.

  2. #362
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    helenmac is offline After 3 yrs of tcc I've got a BFP!
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    Hi Ladies,

    Mignight - Welcome to the thread. Some donor agencies suggest you use a 'proven donor'. One that has cycled before which resulted in high fertilization rates and in a pregnancy. Or it could mean they have had a child already. I went with a young donor (only had just turned 21 a few weeks before she cycled which is the minimum age). She produced 14 eggs and outcome was 4 embryos. 2 transferred (chem preg due to my immune issues) and 2 frozen. You have to keep in mind CFC have high success rates so they are extremely strict on the quality before transferring and freezing.

    Amandamoo - I went with Baby2mom cause I had a connection with the donor. I fell in love with her baby photo and was happy with her family medical history and her father is English background (such as myself). She was only 21, she was my blood type (A+) and she lived a short distance from Cape Town (Stellenbosch). Everything felt so right like it was meant to be. I joined plenty of other donor agencies and had a look at many others but just kept going back to her. I think another lady on this forum (Jodi) went though Baby2mom so I found out about it through her but you can google South African donor agencies search and you can find more. Join as many as you want and do your homework and compare rates. I went with CFC cause so many ladies on this forum and another one (aussieeggdonors) have raved about how wonderful they are so I went with recommendation.

    I only needed an egg donor not sperm donor as my DH's sperm is fine. Good luck and it's very exciting that you may be embarking on this ED journey.

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  4. #363
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    Hi Ladies

    Helen – I’m so glad that you finally have a plan in place and you can now move forward. I am sure that you are feeling a bit frustrated at the long lead time but at least now you know the state of play instead of sitting around in limbo. Keep us posted on your progress and I really do have everything crossed for you that all this effort gets you your much deserved bfp!!!

    Ianed – how are you hun? Sounds like your little Springbok is thriving! I don’t know about you but I am a bit of a nervous wreck in these early days but I am sure that it is very re-assuring seeing that little heartbeat up on the screen. Have you had much in the way of morning sickness?

    Midnite – we had male factor issues as well as egg issues. In fact my eggs were fine when we started down the IVF route 10 years ago (when I was in my mid twenties) and I think our failures then were partly due to male factor and partly due to immune issues and high progesterone which was preventing implantation (we only found that out afterwards). But the past 3 IVF cycles we had a very poor fertilization rate and it became clear that my egg quality had really deteriorated. We had a chat to our clinic about trying egg donation with dh’s sperm issues (4% morphology and 31% DNA fragmentation) and our clinic said that there were no guarantee’s and that really, the only way to find out was to give it a go. They did say, however, that a very good quality egg can correct some minor issues with the sperm. So this ED cycle for us was a bit of a risk as we didn’t know how much dh’s male factor issues would be an issue. Thankfully we got a bfp although only 3 of our 10 embryo’s were any good on day 3 which still indicates that the sperm did influence the embryo quality. I guess at the end of the day you just have to make a decision whether or not you want to spend that much money taking the risk doing ED with male factor issues knowing that the odds may not be in your favour as much as they would be if you weren’t dealing with that extra complication – either that or use donor sperm too but that isn’t a path we wanted to go down. It paid off for us (so far anyway touch wood!) so naturally I would recommend that you go for it. There were a few days there where I didn’t think this cycle had worked for us and I actually still didn’t regret giving ED a go as at least we would have been able to say that we had tried absolutely everything and given it our very best shot! Good luck with whatever you decide!

    Big to everyone else!

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  6. #364
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    Thanks Jed that info is very helpful - congrats to you BTW.

    I suppose it is weighing up fertilisation rates and I did hear that donor eggs have better rates with dud sperm that what would have happened normally. Maybe with my hubbie doing TESA could be okay.

    Are any of you from Melbourne and how easy was it to get the necessary medical information to provide to the clinic? I am currently with CFC in Melbourne.

    I think that is what has happened to my eggs as well - quality has dropped last 12 months.

    Have a good night all.

  7. #365
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    Hi Girls

    Helenmac and Jed thanks for your continued well wishes.

    Midnight and Amanda - as stated do your research register with as many agencies as you can. It is free of cost and simply involves you sending them your email address and name. I registered with about five and I see now there are some new ones listed on the Cape Fertility Centre website. Just to name a few, as above baby2mom, giftovlife, nurture, global egg donors, egg donation southafrica, sunshine egg donors. As stated they all have different rates and also some will negotiate a reduced cost if in the event a transfer does not take place.

    As for clinics, I am of the view Cape Fertility is the best, albeit I did not do my donor cycle with them. My previous posts outline the repeated difficulties had with our Joburg clinic. Before we left, we left some of DHs sperm with CFC. I met with Dr Wisewedel, who generally deals with the Aussie recipients. I cannot express how comfortable and how reassuring he made me feel. Furthermore CFC is a very professional clinic. If we ever choose to go back I would confidently return on my own to have a cycle through CFC.

    Jed - the waiting and worrying just doesn't stop. I hope you get to see your beautiful bubba/s soon. When s your first scan?

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  9. #366
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    Hi all

    DH and I had a chat about this earlier today. It was good to know that we are on the same page in that if this is what we need to do - then CFC seems to be the best. He did ask me how I would feel about the child not being mine biologically and I felt some tears well up which I think is perfectly normal - since this is only something that we have been thinking about for a week or so.

    I have registered with Nurture and Giftovlife - just waiting for their password to come through.

    Something I was trying to find on some of the donor websites - do some have guarantees about certain number of eggs on retrieval and if poor then can go with a second donor?

    Also when you are looking at their history on the websites when do you find out about their previous donating and retrieval history? Is this something you can find out once the donor has been booked to you?

    How is everyone else going?

    Have a good rest of the weekend.

  10. #367
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    Hi Midnite

    the donors profile generally says whether they have had a child or successful donation before. With some of the agencies the profile you view is a summary and you need to request their full profile.

    as far as the guarantees go, that is something you will need to discuss with the agency itself, they are all different.

    As for the child not being yours biologically, we have all been through that stage, it's hard to give up on yourself and your eggs, but well worth it if your dreams come true in the end. I never think of my bub NOT being mine, so he didn't come from my egg but I still gave birth to him, I still sat with him in hospital, I got up during the night to feed him and I change his nappies, frankly, it doesn't cross my mind anymore, he is mine and I am his, he wouldn't know any different.

    check out a few of the agencies there is bound to be the perfect donor in one of them. Good luck

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  12. #368
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    Big Hi to Midnite, I'm also a kiwi in Melbourne.
    Really encouraging stories about SA and good luck to those considering it. I gather egg donation is South Africa has to be anonymous- is that right? Is anyone aware of overseas donor services that allow the donor and child to have some form of contact with each other later on if they wish?
    Diana

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    Hi Diana

    your best bet is to go to the States then, you can find both anonymous and donors who would like contact there, the only problem is, it's hugely expensive, check out global egg donations and do a search on egg donors in the USA. The good thing about using an American donor is you can see their pictures of not only when they were children but also as an adult.

    Best of luck on your journey.

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  16. #370
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    Hi Diana welcome and all the very best with your decision. I too was concerned how our future child may view not being able to,access information about their genealogy. In this regard, I have kept the donors comprehensive profile and did a video diary of how we came to choose the donor and the journey. All going well I intend on letting our little one have an infinite connection with South Africa. Unfortunately our donor did not wish to be identified even in the event the legislation changed.

    Midnight - giving up on my own eggs was the biggest hurdle for me. I had some initial ego issues about genetic make up, however a week at the beach and a lot of solo time soul searching made me overcome such feelings, which at the time were so big for me, but now have paled into insignificance. I love this little Springbok desperately like my two previous (yet unfortunately unsuccessful) pregnancies. I am it's lifeline and I feel such a strong and special bond with this little one even more so knowing the lengths we have gone to to hopefully one day meet him or her and welcome them into our family.

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