TIred - good luck with everything.
TIred - good luck with everything.
Tired - good luck with everything.
M4N i'm so glad you're feeling ok with the pregnancy now. You are so right Every family has it's challenges. With us Scarlett our #2 has been a real challenge. For the first 5 or so months of marc's life i pretty well breastfed him with her sitting on my lap crying. It's so much better now but we still have some tough days.
Hi to everyone. We have a new puppy we got from the rscpa last weekend so been busy with that and with end of school. I try and read but posting is impossible. It's 5 am here and already some ifthe kids are calling. Better go.
Sonja I have a scary feeling that I'm going to have the same issue with Ruby. She's so possessive of me
I hope it's not like that for you because tbh there have been a lot of times i've almost resented scarlett as i've felt she has come between little special bonding moments between me and Marc. What i've realised now almost 10 months later was that for scarlett it's wanting to always be the centre of my or DH's attention at whatever cost. I think i felt so guilty about all the changes we made in her life (the move to Perth, out of a cot at an early age, having another baby) that i let her behaviour dominate the whole house. I'm not entirely sure what i would or even could have done differently but i think kids are much stronger than we sometimes give them credit and there were mant times i could probably have left her to her tantrum rather than try andfix it all the time when it meant i was pulled in 3 different directions. Ruby has childcare now? I think that would have helped scarlett immensely as it would ahve been something for her away from marc and everything baby.
Kel, Spencer was massively possessive of me too. I am really surprised at how well he has adjusted. I think to bear in mind as Sonja said, that kids are stronger than we give them credit for. Also all kids are different, so you really have no idea how they will react individually. We did our best to make sure Spencer had attention away from Archie, and he is also in child care as well which again like Sonja said, has made a huge difference. Not everything in his life is revolving around his little brother.
Have you thought about a book about big sister, little brother or there is also a book called "there's a house inside my mummy" which is meant to be good.
Sorry - gotta go. I feel like I only have time for half a$$ed comments sorry. know I read and my thoughts are with you all
Thanks Sonja and MG. Ruby is in childcare 1 day a week and that will increase to 2 next year. Tonight for instance I'm in so much pain I can barely walk, and she literally hangs off my leg if I try and go somewhere. I've had to lock myself in the bedroom and leave her with DH as I just can't physically deal with her and she's out there screaming MAma, mama, mama...it's insane. I don't know why she's like this. She's always had lots of people around and taking care of her. I've just had to put her to bed screaming in her cot. Not easy when I'm emotional and extremely hormonal
Kel I've gone through exactly the same thing with both Lucy and Scarlett - I reckon it's a girl thing as a lot of my friends with boys didn't experience it to the same extent (either before or after they had another baby). I can't tell you the number of times I've hidden in my bedroom, or crept into the house so they can't hear me, as I know as soon as they see or hear me they'd go nuts and only want me. It was really bad with Lucy when she was around 2 but she was 3 and a half when I had Scarlett so coped really well.
Scarlett on the other hand wasn't yet 2 when I had Marc and was super clingy before he arrived then was ok at first but it was like once it dawned on her Marc wasn't going anywhere she became really hard work. And she still is. I think we should have been much firmer with her as her behaviour has at times really dominated the mood in the house. In the 12 months since we moved here she has never been left with anyone other than me or DH, apart from when I had Marc and my parents looked after he while I was in hospital and DH was at work. Once we got home the more my mother tried to distract her the worse she got. It was hell some days. I don't think it matters whether they are used to other people looking after them like Ruby or not like Scarlett - you are mum are you are the prize in their eyes.
I also think they get into a habit of responding a certain way in certain situations. Eg Scarlett is extremely shy and very unfriendly with people at times and it used to make me really embarrassed and angry as if I spoke to anyone else she'd have a meltdown but now I just talk to her calmly and explain that the people are nice and once she;s calm she'll usually let me go and then she seems to be ok after that.
I realise now rather than getting frustrated or cross I needed to try and calm her down and ask her to tell me why she was upset. She has been able to do this since she was a little over 2 so it might take Ruby a while. It's hard when you're sleep deprived but at least while you're at DH's parents place you're not alone and that will be a really good thing.
Anyway, not sure any of this has helped but I'll be here if you ever need any advice or to vent. I made a lot of mistakes I realise now so hopefully Ruby can benefit from the lessons I've learned.
Last edited by Sonja; 18-12-2011 at 22:00.
Thanks Sonja. I guess I have to remember that she will probably hate me one day so I should cherish these days of undying devotion! I feel really sorry for DH too as he really does make an effort but if I'm around she will barely look at him and runs away from him as she is worried he will take her away from me. I guess we will just have to take every day at a time.
Pregnant for the first-time?
Not sure where to start? We can help!
Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!