Pre Abortion Counselling

[GluttonForPunishment]

Recently someone very close to me had an abortion. She was very confused leading into making that decision. Afterwards, I have been so worried about her. She has referred to herself as a murderer and can't believe that she did what she did. Now, myself and others are there for her and are helping her get through this, plus she is seeking professional help. But it got me to thinking about how inadequate the care is for women like her who are not sure if they should or shouldn't. There is, quite literally, a 10 minute "flick and tick" sheet that was filled out, and that was the abortion clinic's version of a counselling session. "Lots of women feel happy about their abortion!" Guess what, that doesn't mean that she will feel good about hers.

So I have created this Facebook page and I'm seeing how much support is out there for mandatory counselling. It's not about pro-life or pro-choice, but doing a better job of looking after those that are troubled and scared but might not really want to have an abortion. Please, have a look and if you have any ideas let me know. The plan is just my idea and I'm sure there are much smarter people out there than me who might have some better idea as to the amount of care that should be provided. I mainly want to get awareness out there of the inadequacies in the process as it stands. I'm sure both sides of the abortion debate can see the merit in this.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Mandat...511434?sk=info

Thanks everyone for looking.

[mummykitty]

I'd love to see more support out there, have you thought about starting a petition? Lots of online sites can help with that. I'd also suggest talking to your local mp as they can help you with where to start with it all. If you can collecting some stories about people who do feel the system failed them or let them down will probably also help they can be anonymous but should all be real stories and contain dates / locations where possible to lend credibility ideally cross age and social group barriers where possible there are many reasons people look into termination and I think it's left to itself as it's a messy topic. I'd love to see more support in the area and think there is a huge opportunity to make a real difference so well done

ETA: is worth noting that in some cases it is time sensitive so mandatory may not always work unless we have people on hand. It's also worth noting that the impact can differ depending on the type of abortion/ what stage of pregnancy you were at.

[FishFan]

I just read the page and it has guilty depictions on it, as if, someone is trying to scare women out of an abortion rather than provide counselling. I think it is rather distasteful.

[mummykitty]

I'm not on Facebook but if that's true they should probably be removed as it wont help things. I'll see if I can borrow a Friends to look.

[waterlily]

Pre abortion counseling is a good idea. But mandatory 3 or 4 hour long sessions for woman who are absolutely sure of their decision is a very horrible idea. Also how Long would it take? How further along would you get before being able to go to all the appointments? From what I've seen some clinics do over 100 people a DAY!
A one off 10 minute counselor to see of your in the right frame of mind to proceed, YES! But nothing more UNLESS the woman chooses so.

[delirium]

I do agree there needs to be more counselling. Not just to make sure they *really* want the abortion but to discuss contraception and preventing further pg. Someone I knew had multiple abortions bc she just will not use contraception. She was given a script for the pill and wasn't even told it took a month to be covered by it . Other women I know have said similar, that it was a few mins worth of are you sure, yep, ok lets get the u/s ready then. Lots of women on this forum have been guilted into abortions by abusive partners and family, proper counselling would be more likely to bring out she really didn't want one.

But..... it shouldn't be created for punishment. Some women are sure, and however much I don't like that decision it's theirs to make. 3 or 4 hours for a woman that is positive she wants it with no conflicting feelings, must sure feel like a punishment.

[Bubbles10]

Further, if abortion providers want to masquerade as health-care workers, then they shirk their responsibilities when they fail to screen for psychological risk factors that will identify the abortion as an extension of self-hatred and self-punishment, or as relived trauma and abuse. Telling her that there are women who are okay with their abortions doesn't tell her whether she is likely to be okay with hers. Many abortion-ambivalent women go to clinics expecting that the counselor at the clinic has special skills in helping women figure out whether this is really what she wants. When she receives assurances, she unfortunately reasons from this that the abortion clinic worker has discerned that she is a good candidate for this procedure.

The language used in your page is not 'choice neutral' even if you claim that is your status.

Providing opportunities for counselling for women who wish to take it up is a good thing. Mandating it, and only fighting to provide it prior to the abortion sounds like just another Pro-Life cover.

[bugsy]

But..... it shouldn't be created for punishment. Some women are sure, and however much I don't like that decision it's theirs to make. 3 or 4 hours for a woman that is positive she wants it with no conflicting feelings, must sure feel like a punishment.

Yes, this would be my concern. Certainly there should be more counseling available for those who feel they need it, but mandatory extended counseling is unneccessary and unworkable.

[GluttonForPunishment]

I just read the page and it has guilty depictions on it, as if, someone is trying to scare women out of an abortion rather than provide counselling. I think it is rather distasteful.

You have completely missed the point. Four months on and my friend in question still speaks to me of disappearing from the earth, of being a killer. It's not about scaring women out of abortion at all. Do you think that this decision is one that all women can just say "Yep, that's what I want to do! 100%!" No! Whilst there are some who are certain it's what they want, there are many, as the page depicts, who wish they hadn't gone through with it. This is the case with my friend. THAT is who the page has in mind.

Re the tick and flick. Well, if that's how it's meant to be, then that's great. But it certainly wasn't at this abortion clinic. They were more concerned that the FOB wasn't forcing her to have one. All up, about 10-15 minutes "counseling" session was what was offered. My friend was the one who was outraged. I quote "They let me kill my baby. How could they let me do that?!?!" This original post was only an extension of what she had been saying to me. I know I'm just a guy and all, but I wanted her voice to be heard. So I created the page also.

I make no apologies for creating the page or for writing this original thread. At the time when I wrote this, I was hoping for help. Reaching out for it in fact. It was put up here back in August. I had not one reply. I had no input from any other members. No one was interested at the time.

Every day this person is living with their regret. I wish more than anything that she had been counseled through her problems then at the time and hadn't terminated. But she slipped through the cracks - that's not just my opinion - it's hers. I hope that there IS some more counseling out there - both pre and post.

Now can we please not make this an opinion thread now? Someone wants to create a thread arguing this and other abortion topics, go right ahead. But this was done for a person who is very close to me in their time of need and I don't want this to sink to the bickering depths that some of these threads get to. It was meant to be a positive thread designed to invite help for women who need it. I want it left that way.

Thanks.


You'll have to excuse the iPhone auto correct. It sax!

[designertaste]

There are alot of free counseling to help make your decision and for post abortion too. " children by choice" is the most helpful, non judgmental, confidential counseling there is. I don't think you need " better" counseling. Women need better education on how and where to access these services.