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  1. #81
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    My BIL hits his twin girls, one is very aggressive and always gets in trouble at school for hitting other kids the other one is very shy and when she gets upset she goes quiet and sulks, I think it purely does come down to personality
    The pp that uses the reasoning for hitting her own kids is because " I was hit as a child and I'm ok excuse" has to see that each child is different, yes it dosnt effect some kids but guess what some are really messed up and it can change their whole life , how on earth can you tell at 9 months or 2 years old what effect you will have on your child by hitting her?

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    Hootenanny  (11-08-2011),TinyLittleTootsies  (11-08-2011)

  3. #82
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    Frick my grammar and spelling are bad there. That's what comes of typing lying down with my left hand

  4. #83
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    Ive never smacked DD. It's just showing children that hitting is okay and it's not.

  5. #84
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    i beleive in leading by example. i was thrilled when my 14 month old came to me and said 'up please mama' as we dont 'coach' manners, but instead thank and ask politely for things.
    if i hit her, imteaching that its ok to hit people who do things you dont like.
    instead we
    a) figure out if she is ACTUALLY naughty (a tantrum when she /tired/hungry/wet is MY fault for not responding to her needs, and its not age appropriate to expect a toddler to sit quietly for an hour at the theatre/not run away as a game, if she can/eat without squishing at least one thing in her bowl/ share properly/etc.)
    b) divert/distract 'the fire is hot -ouch!- come read a book with me)
    c) remove her from the situation (if number b doesnt work)

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  7. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by bada View Post
    I get confused by people who smack saying they never inflict any pain... then what's the point? If you're doing it simply show your disapproval then there are better ways of doing that which will actually strengthen your relationship with your child rather than making them fear you.
    <br />
    gosh i remember the look of sadness on mums face when i misbehaved, and if she said 'im very disapointed in your behaviour' i was devastated!
    <br />

  8. #86
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    Is it ok for a man to give his wife a non playful smack on the bum if she makes him angry? I call that domestic violence. Yet it's ok to smack a child who has a much lower impulse control/sense of reasoning etc etc? I grew up in a violent house and if my husband touched me in anger, that is abuse. A man can't pick and choose when his partner deserves a physical punishment so why can we as parents?

  9. #87
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    Coming from a childhood of being beaten(kicked punched)for tiny ridiculous things.
    smacking only makes your child desesertised to smacking so that when you need to dicipline the only thing that will work is smacking and that becomes the norm for the child.
    I think communication and other techniques are better.
    Your also giveing alot of attention to bad behavior.
    your attention should be concerntrated on good behavior.
    All children are innocent no matter what your emotional problems are.
    I call my kids wally and explain wallies bahavior as bad and reasons.
    takes the blameing the child situation.
    I have found girls are easy to communicate and reason with than boys.
    Boys are useualy alot more stubborn and more sensitive.
    I had a little trouble with my boy at 2 but he came goid quickly.
    I useualy put in room for minute then go and communicate the issue.
    if in town and they start a tantrum i leave and go home.

  10. #88
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    Studies have proven that it is ineffective before 3 and after 6, based on children of average intelligence and maturity for those ages.

    I won't enter any other debate, we all know how it goes.

  11. #89
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    My father stopped smacking/beating us when we became teenagers, I guess when we were at an age were we could fight back. Coward.

    People who smack their children need lessons in how to effectively discipline a child without the use of violence..there are classes available out there.

  12. #90
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bell & Bug View Post
    If you smack your child, when is the stopping point? Or isn't there one? Is it a certain age? Is it when they have a certain understanding?
    Do you go on to smack them even when they are a teenager? If not, why not?
    to answer the ORIGINAL question....i first smacked my child when he was around 3yo. he has been smacked (only on the bottom) a handful of times and only when he did something life threatening/dangerous, like running off in a carpark.
    i stopped by the time he was in school (so 5-6) as the threat of a smack was enough to make him stop.
    the main discipline method i used was time out.
    i would never smack a teenager as i feel they should already have learnt what is right and wrong, and feel that taking away privileges is much more effective. my son is now 9yo and taking away his computer upsets him more than anything.

    and for the record, he is a loving, open, non-violent boy with no lasting issues from having his bottom smacked a few times.


 

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