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  1. #61
    BabushkaMumma's Avatar
    BabushkaMumma is offline Mothering with my whole heart as thats what my girls have given me.
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    Of course - always exceptions to the studies which say otherwise...

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    wrena  (11-08-2011)

  3. #62
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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    hi, I have smacked my children. I have used my hand, I think I might have used something else sometimes, I did leave red marks on their skin, legs or hand, so I did use some force. The times I used smacking, was either because it was a dangerous situation, or because I had reached the end of my patience and they would not do what I wanted. I dont feel proud to say that, but I admit to being human and I admit I have not been the most perfect parent. I will say though, each child is different, and regardless of how you decide to disicpline your children, different situations can bring about different outcomes. I know as my children grew older the physical punishment got less, as teenagers they were grounded, or had privilages taken away. I understand we all just want to do what is best for our children and some people have had different expierences to draw on, so this thread is good for sharing, with compassion. Marie.

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  5. #63
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    Has anybody who has smacked a child under age 3 done any research on it? I remember when my 2 year old DS was causing me some stress I called the parent helpline and they mentioned that even time outs should not be for children under 3 years old as they are not yet able to understand why they are behaving certain ways.

    I've smacked my DS in the past when I've been at the end of my tether but thankfully it's only been twice and I still feel guilty about it. I feel so ashamed and bad that I smacked him.

    singa06 I'm not sure re your question, I don't really think that is valid research. My best friend from high school was s3xually assaulted, beaten, burnt with cigarettes, yelled at, not fed as punishments and she was never violent. Some people are just different.

    I do worry when I hear of children still in their formative years being struck by their parents

  6. #64
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    Yes, I understand.
    I just found it interesting.

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    Benji  (11-08-2011)

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    Um, it's never ok to smack. Simple. It is always assault and a violation of another person's rights. Simple. If only our legal system recognised our children as people. Oh wait, it's only been in the last 30 years or so that there have been laws against spousal rape, that's right. Before then it must have been ok, yanno, just because the law said so.


    I have smacked my son. I have done it both calmly and rationally as a deterrant from danger, and a couple of times as a "snap" moment of frustration. How dare I?! How dare I do that, if it was my husband, he could have me charged. Yet my child is a small person whom I am supposed to be protecting, and the law won't protect him unless I leave a mark or something.

    This thread is interesting. You see, all the arguments for why you should stop at a certain stage, just go to prove even more why you should never do it in the first place.

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    1+1=5  (11-08-2011),DaughteroftheForest  (11-08-2011),delirium  (11-08-2011),Lillynix  (11-08-2011),wrena  (11-08-2011)

  10. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by singa06 View Post
    Yes, I understand.
    I just found it interesting.
    Sorry, I wrote that post ages ago it only just showed up I would have taken that part out after seeing responses, I thought the post disappeared!

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    I have smacked my first out of frustration (one smack on the bum, so we're not talking about beating here), the look of fear in his eyes and the way he still flinches when he knows that he has done something naughty breaks my heart. I wish i never would have raised a hand to him, ever. I don't want him to fear me, to hide things from me.

    Needless to say, I don't smack my other two kids and I didn't smack my eldest before the age of 2...that's a baby . I look at my 1 year old and I can't imagine raising a hand to him NOW, let alone at a younger age. He is naive and just wants to touch and explore everything....this thread is just so upsetting.

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    Quote Originally Posted by 1+1=5 View Post
    this thread is just so upsetting.
    I agree

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    I honestly don't know how all of you people can think a smack on the bum is "harming a child" or can be classified as "assault". I find that absolutely laughable.

    I was smacked on the bum by my Mum as a child when I misbehaved and I was also given a good hiding by grandfather at one point. I don't have any anger or resentment issues and have never hit another person (or have ever had the urge to). In fact, I am an extremely well adjusted adult. I think a smack on the bum teaches a good lesson when used appropriately. After a few smacks, Mum only had to start counting to 3 before I would stop doing whatever naughty thing I was doing.

    I WILL be smacking my child on the bum if needed. I think a smack on the bum (for children under the age of 10 and older than 3) is totally fine.

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    I was smacked on the bum when I was a kid and was being naughty, i didn't get smacked a lot but when I did it was because I had done something really bad and when I got a smack my mum would always say its because I had done such and such and it was very bad. Needless to say I learnt my lesson and didn't do it again. For just me being a bit naughty or mischievous I was yelled at or chastised I turned out just fine and I don't resent my parents at all. I am one of four and we have all grown up to be respectful and have a good understanding of right and wrong. I will follow how my parents taught me growing up as I know they have done a fantastic job as parents.


 

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