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  1. #51
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    I don't believe in hitting people because they aren't doing what i want them to.

    I did smack my first child and it wasn't a healthy way to deal with her behaviour. I will allways regret doing it.

    However I have never smacked my 5 YO son and i believe he is a gentler and happier child because of it.

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    DaughteroftheForest  (11-08-2011),Guest1234  (10-08-2011),River Song  (10-08-2011)

  3. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissPoss View Post
    So I guess my children at 9 months were far less intelligent...
    ummm noooo, just MY child does know what's going on - I don't know YOUR child from a bar of soap. But my little dd is pretty cunning.

    Quote Originally Posted by BabushkaMumma View Post
    Really??? Tipped a bucket of water over your DD?

    Going by your stated intelligence of your 9 month old Im sure that your 11 year old would be capable of being reasoned with... What worked prior to the attempted smack?
    There is only so much you can take from a child who has hit puberty. It was a build up of a lot of things and I was down to my last straw, I had a really bad day at work and then came home to a pubescent child who pretty much demanded dinner, sulked at me and then proceeded to take digs at my mothering, whinging about how hard her life is and just being a pain in the ***. Told her to stop, she spoke back to me, got the wooden spoon, chased her around for a bit, gave her a spank, she laughed in my face about told me how it didn't hurt, I went off and got a bucket and filled it with water and threw it over her and then we both started laughing.

  4. #53
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    Haven't read most of the replies but this is why I really wish it was outlawed in our society - people do not know the laws and don't *really* know when it's "appropriate" to start and finish 'smacking'. People's understanding is very limited so IMO it would be much better to have a blanket law that says "no physical punishment" (because, lets face it, that's exactly what it is - a punishment to humiliate and shame a child) so there is NO confusion.

    Unfortunately, we live in a culture that has lost the art of true parenting and we often learn from our own parents mistakes (I was a lucky one!) so a lot of parents simply do not know how to discipline without raising a hand.

  5. #54
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    Deleted
    Last edited by Guest1234; 15-01-2012 at 11:27.

  6. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by **crickets** View Post
    ummm noooo, just MY child does know what's going on - I don't know YOUR child from a bar of soap. But my little dd is pretty cunning.



    There is only so much you can take from a child who has hit puberty. It was a build up of a lot of things and I was down to my last straw, I had a really bad day at work and then came home to a pubescent child who pretty much demanded dinner, sulked at me and then proceeded to take digs at my mothering, whinging about how hard her life is and just being a pain in the ***. Told her to stop, she spoke back to me, got the wooden spoon, chased her around for a bit, gave her a spank, she laughed in my face about told me how it didn't hurt, I went off and got a bucket and filled it with water and threw it over her and then we both started laughing.
    I included the assumption that you would've been dealing with a hormonal tween. I have no doubt that it can get frustrating!! At least the outcome was a laugh..

    But as an hormonal adult I've probably acted that way too in my relationships - all part and parcel of being a human. But, If my husband decided to throw a bucket of water on my head he would have to justify why we should still be married.

    That's just to put it into an adult - adult relationship context versus a child - adult one. I think at times, we think being a child means we can treat them with much less respect.
    Last edited by BabushkaMumma; 11-08-2011 at 11:13.

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  8. #56
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    DaughteroftheForest is offline Sometimes you have to forget what you want in order to remember what you deserve
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    Quote Originally Posted by **crickets** View Post

    There is only so much you can take from a child who has hit puberty. It was a build up of a lot of things and I was down to my last straw, I had a really bad day at work and then came home to a pubescent child who pretty much demanded dinner, sulked at me and then proceeded to take digs at my mothering, whinging about how hard her life is and just being a pain in the ***. Told her to stop, she spoke back to me, got the wooden spoon, chased her around for a bit, gave her a spank, she laughed in my face about told me how it didn't hurt, I went off and got a bucket and filled it with water and threw it over her and then we both started laughing.
    I know that smacking is not looked upon as child abuse by DOCS (yet) but I do know that hitting a child with an object is.

    physical abuse:

    Physical abuse is a non-accidental injury or pattern of injuries to a child caused by a parent, caregiver or any other person.

    It includes but is not limited to injuries which are caused by excessive discipline, severe beatings or shakings, cigarette burns, attempted strangulation and female genital mutilation.

    Injuries include bruising, lacerations or welts, burns, fractures or dislocation of joints.

    Hitting a child around the head or neck and/or using a stick, belt or other object to discipline or punishing a child is a crime.

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  10. #57
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    My son is 7 and my daughter is almost 6 and they RARELY get a smack anymore. We have found at this age alternative ways work. We now take away things that mean a bit more to them. As for DD2 she is just turning one on sunday and we don't have to smack her at all for understandable reasons. She is still young. She gets the occasional swat on the fingers if she is touching something she knows she isn't allowed to. But I can soon see the time when she will get one too. For us its only used at the young ages because once they get a bit older there are other ways of disciplining them. (take a ways special things, sit at he table witih head down. ) Stuff that wouldn't mean much to a two year old.

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    Here is something I can't get my head around:

    *My niece #1 (4 in Feb): She is never hit by mum and dad, they use talking, naughty corner etc. Anyway, when she gets angry or frustrated at my DS (2) she screams, yells and hits/slaps him (quite violent and hard). We cant leave them alone together, has been this way for many months.

    *My niece #2 (4 in Sep): IS Hit by her parents. However, when she is angry or frustrated with my DS, she will cry, get upset, winge, but NEVER hits him. I can leave them to play with not problems.

    GO figure!

  12. #59
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    BabushkaMumma is offline Mothering with my whole heart as thats what my girls have given me.
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    Personality differences?

  13. #60
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    Definitely.

    However so many parents on here believe that if they smack their child, then their child will hit others, however if they don't smack their child, then they will have a non-hitting, calmer child. Well not always the case!


 

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