With DD I tried several different ways of managing her bad behaviour!
One occasion that is very much ingrained in my memory is once when she would not listen to calm talking, would not go to her room and stay until she calmed down, I tried everything.
I took her to her room and sat with her on my lap, talking to her calmly....I might like to add that she was screaming the whole time, yet I continued to try and console her, explain that it was not the right thing to do, that it would be better for her if she calmed down....then she lost the plot and started screaming louder and louder, hitting me, scratching me, my face, my arms everywhere. In surprise and anger, I smacked her....she would have been 3 at this stage maybe even 4, but she was so out of control I thought that the smack would make her realise that hitting me was hurting me like I just hurt her.....it didnt work.......she got more and more angry.
I am so thankful that my parents were with me at the time....dh was at work....anyway, i dragged her into the hallway telling my parents that they needed to help because if they didnt, I was really going to hurt her.
Dad grabbed her, put her in the shower and turned on the cold water....(i might just add that we lived in Far north NT, so the water was never cold, cold) but the shock of the water, plus the fact that her poppy had done it was enough for her to calm down and realise that she needed to stop....
From then on, the threat of putting her in a cold shower worked pretty well when she was chucking a tantrum....now though, as she is that bit older, I only have to give her "that" look and she gets upset and goes to her room.
What works for some people, may not work for others, but no one can judge us based on a few written lines in an anonymous forum. Lets give each other a fair go...we are all doing the best we can!