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  1. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theophania View Post
    I used to use smacking to discipline my son. I knew it was wrong, even when I did it. I knew when I did it, it was because I had lost control and smacking was a release of my anger. It makes me so sad that I did this. But it was all I knew. It was how I was raised and I thought it was how you 'teach' kids a lesson. I know now how wrong I was.

    I stopped smacking my son when he started smacking me and others to let out his anger and frustration. I realised I was teaching him the wrong way to deal with a healthy emotion. I wasn't setting him up to know how to react to things in life in the right way. Violence is not the answer to any problems, and that is what I want to teach him.

    I have found his behaviour to be much better now that I use different tactics. He plays nicer with other kids and will listen when I speak to him. He still sometimes uses violence against other kids in frustration and I hope that with time he will learn the right way to cope with things, until then I will continue to feel guilty for the way I have handled things in the past.
    Exactly this ...

    I have smacked ds out of pure frustration/exhaustion ... And every time ive done it a piece of me died. It's the complete opposite to how I want to parent but I realise that I'm fighting a battle against years and years of conditioning from my father and others around me ...

    It's a hard battle but I'm slowly winning and im smacking my son less and less ...

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  3. #92
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    IMO until its not effective anymore. DS gets a smack on the hand of backside if he is naughty. It's the noise that he doesn't like more than the pain as he only really gets a tap.

  4. #93
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    At the shops yesterday DS ran away and nearly got run over by a car in the carpark. He usually gets a smack on his nappied bum, but I was so exhausted from running after him, that the smack ended on his thigh instead.
    He wasn't hurt, mainly shocked. No crying though.
    Yet when I put him in the stroller, I saw my handprint on his thigh. I wanted to burst into tears, I felt that guilty and horrible
    My best friend was with me and I said she must think Im a monster. She said she knows me and it was meant to be on his nappied bum, not his leg.
    Its an accident. She reckons as long as he's not crying, its more the action and the sounds that shocks them and stops them with their bad behaviour.

  5. #94
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    Wow! I went to reply to this thread and realised it's an old one and I replied 6 months ago... How my opinion has changed!

    We don't smack anymore I now realise it's something I never want to do again and I'm quite ashamed that I used to.

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    I did smack a few times in the early days of the terrible twos when I was trying to work out how to discipline my suddenly challenging child. When he then started smacking me back and role played smacking his toys I stopped immediately. How do you explain that smacking is wrong when you smack yourself? Makes zero sense. No brainer to me

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    Default back to original question

    Hi, I have a son who has not long gone 8 and a son not long gone 5. I must admit that I did smack often with both until about 2 years ago. Then as my eldest got more mature and I understood what would hurt him more. A smack, or something he loves being taken away for a period of time, depending on the need for punishment. The latter has seemed to work so just naturally flowed through to my youngest. So, I guess smacking finished at 6 and 3. I guess as a parent, you learn how to deal with things as life goes on. There is no parent handbook after all.


 

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