9yo ADHD son being voted by classmates to not play at lunchtime..

**pinktasha** · 07-08-2011 23:36

Hi everyone,
I have a 9 yo son who suffers from ADHD, he is in year 4 at school and he has told us on Friday about what has been happening to him at school..

Now he does have problems being focused in class, and can get very disruptive at times, we do not have him on any medications as we are not comfortable with the idea, he was diagnosed when he was 5 years old.

Basically it all started a week and a half ago, After school he told me that a boy in his year had called him a F@ggot, and he punched him, now in no way did I condone him hitting the boy, but we have gay family members and he understands that using words like that are unnacceptable, he got angry and hit the other boy. I spoke to his teacher and explained this to her, and told her that he should not of reacted that way at all, she told me he would be excluded from lunch time play for 1 day and that she would also talk to the other boys parents about using such vulgar and derogatory terms at school.

Anyway on Friday my son tells me that on Monday, the assistant principal came to the classroom and has decided that due to him misbehaving or being disruptive, each day before lunch, my son must stand up in front of his classmates and ask them if he is able to play at lunch, they then have a show of hands who thinks he should play, needless to say, every day last week he spent his lunch time in the library alone, but then told to have a run to get his energy out before class started back.

I am not against him being punished or missing out if he is being naughty at school, and his teacher is very understanding of his condition, but I am furious and frustrated and upset that this is being done to him, luckily he is a very strong boy and he says he is ok with it, but really? I think it is a horrible thing to do to any child, and especially the fact that he has ADHD, I find it totally wrong to do this to him.

I've been having a look at the board of education site and also the catholic school board site, he goes to a catholic school,

and from what I can gather, it is almost a breach of services under the disability act at schools, any child with a behavioural or learning problem comes under this act. What makes it worse to me is that its more of a teacher initiating this humiliation than other children..

We are calling the principal tomorrow to try and find out what is going on, but I am fed up with this school and am seriously considering looking into making a formal complaint

I was just hoping for some support or ideas on what I can do about this, or maybe someone has been in a somewhat similar situation?

I apologize for such a long post too!!

**River Song** · 07-08-2011 23:41

that is awful! how dare they treat him that way

i wish i had some advice for you...but had to post to give some hugs!

**SpecialPatrolGroup** · 07-08-2011 23:45

I am absolutely

at the thought of an education professional suggesting such a damaging approach , no child should have to endure that. Could he be confused about what was meant?

I don't really have much to offer but just wanted to offer a

to you and your son.

**J,K&L'sMum** · 07-08-2011 23:48

Absolutely disgusting behavior on behalf if the school!
Definitely see the principle and put in a complaint if nothing becomes of it.

Outrageous

**jagamoe** · 07-08-2011 23:57

seriously that's so wrong my son has ADHD and id crack skulls if he was treated that way at school.......one of my fears that he will be picked on excluded etc cause of his adhd
its not right for a child to be ostracized alienated and humiliated like that its demeaning and really hurtful how would the other children feel if it was them

id be making a formal complaint

id have the teachers and assistant principal in tears and have their job see how they like being made to feel like cr*p makes me so angry

**Pinkzy** · 08-08-2011 00:00

That is absolutely disgusting.

What a humiliating, degrading, self esteem destroying and cruel way to treat another human being, especially a child. The teacher should be ashamed of herself and I'd honestly be reporting her to each and every authority possible.

**veve** · 08-08-2011 00:02

Originally Posted by Silverspoon

Absolutely disgusting behavior on behalf if the school!
Definitely see the principle and put in a complaint if nothing becomes of it.

Outrageous

I agree- its disgusting .. thats nothing to do with his BEHAVIOUR .. thats a popularity competition ... sheesh ..

I can tell you now - that if that had been asked regarding ME in grade 6 I wouldn't have been allowed to play either - despite being a good student .. the most popular girl HATED me .. and therefore so did most of the class, despite my best attempts to fix it. The girl who disliked me on sight would have LOVED the power to make me sit out at lunch time

not a fair approach at ALL

I think that a student's behaviour should only ever be discussed between THAT student and the teacher - that teacher should have a basic system put in place (ticks or smiley faces or something) where your son can work out what he is doing on the behaviour scheme .. so he himself can see - I got one sad face - I better behave REALLY well for the rest of the day or I wont get to play.

I would DEFINITELY be discussing this with the teacher and or admin .. and if something isn't done - I would take it higher. IMO this approach is drawing a bigger target on your son - is this strategy used with ANY OTHER STUDENT??? why make him stand out more???

I wanna

him .. I cant imagine he wants to go to school atm

**Nowhere** · 08-08-2011 00:22

OMG that is disgraceful, you have to complain that is so terrible, i cant beleive they are doing that to a young child, My god, how horrible
HUGS and good luck with speaking with the teacher and principle and educatin dept how ever far you take it, please keep us posted

**Mettie** · 08-08-2011 00:36

Originally Posted by Pinkzy

That is absolutely disgusting.

What a humiliating, degrading, self esteem destroying and cruel way to treat another human being, especially a child. The teacher should be ashamed of herself and I'd honestly be reporting her to each and every authority possible.

+1

Disgraceful. Imagine the uproar if that happened to an adult in their workplace?

**TheCatsMeow** · 08-08-2011 07:20

Originally Posted by Mettie

+1

Disgraceful. Imagine the uproar if that happened to an adult in their workplace?

Exactly. That would be an antidiscrimination/bullying case in an adult workplace. What disgusting and deplorable behaviour from the teachers involved.