Kids in the bed

[GluttonForPunishment]

Ok, so it's 2am and here I am on bubhub. Why, you ask. Well, DP's two lovely girls have come into bed with us ... again, as they seem to do around this time every night. (5 and 2). After having a delightful little fight about this I am now on here, suitably chastised, seeing how other people deal with this. Because I tend to struggle with it a bit. My ex DW and I always kept the kids out of the bed but it's a whole new world these days! I'm not used to a: not sleeping next to DP, something I give up grudgingly I must admit and b: having the little knees/elbows/feet digging into my back whilst trying to sleep. The resolution to my and DP's "discussion" was that if I was really struggling to get back to sleep on a certain night that she would take the kids into one of their beds and sleep in there with them. But I'm interested to see if their are others out there who find it as difficult as me or am I the strange one?

Alright, back to trying to go to sleep!

[mummykitty]

Naww hi,
I will ask dp to write a reply as it is something he has had to adjust to lately. He was child free before coming to us and has had to deal with more than his fair share of sharing me and the bed I hope you manage to get some sleep and you guys can work out a suitable solution that works for all of you. I do think it's unfair to ask her to stop something that is obviously a long standing occurrence but maybe look at weaning the kids away from it? Another thought is the kids may associate a sudden stop with you and that probably wouldn't help things especially with 5yo good luck and sweet dreams and I'll get a male pov in the am xx

[Witchypoo]

I'm not a fan of co-sleeping. Some people are all for it and others like myself hate the idea. As much as some people say they love it and blah...blah...blah..you still have every right not to like it. I don't see why you should be the one doing all the adjusting in the new relationship either. I think you have the right to suggest she implement a change to sleeping habits.

[shelle65]

Hi there, I had a similar problem with my co-sleeping-loving daughter when my partner (now ex, but anyway) started staying over. I definitely wasn't comfortable with DD in the bed with us.. Anyway I implemented a sticker chart and every night she stayed in her own bed all night she got a sticker. If she came into my room I wouldn't let her in, instead take her back to bed and lie with her for a bit.

Not sure if that was the sort of response you were after, but anyway, good luck sorting it all out!

[UmmInayah]

I can't stand cosleeping, dh loves it. He finds the kicking/poking relaxing believe it or not! I could never do it. I like my space. You're certainly not the only one!

[mrsd72]

Hard one, because it needs to be a mutual decision about co-sleeping
not advice I know but yr not alone
When i first met my now husband, my 6 year old was sleeping in with me most nights. Once we moved to DH house, it stopped but after I'd reduced it to once a week.
Maybe allocate a night each week for co-sleeping?

[brogeybear]

It's interesting to hear your perspective as an adult, who feels quite put out at not being able to sleep next to your DP. Yet, you are an adult. How much more so do you think that small children may have an intense need and desire to sleep close by their mother?

DH and I cuddle our 3 y/o to sleep every night and pop him in his bed. He will wake usually around 11pm on average and come into bed with us. Some nights we are going to bed late so we don't get a chance to cuddle each other, but we know what time he roughly wakes, so as adults we deal with that. Other nights we will get a good hour or so in bed, just the two of us before he comes in.

I certainly don't like sleeping alone, it sounds like you don't either. Why should young children be forced to? I hope you and your DP can work out something that suits both of you, so that you are still getting some special time together, as I believe that is important as well. But really, if you genuinely cannot sleep with them in the bed, perhaps you could sleep on a separate surface in the same room or something.

[Me&MrMagoo]

It's interesting to hear your perspective as an adult, who feels quite put out at not being able to sleep next to your DP. Yet, you are an adult. How much more so do you think that small children may have an intense need and desire to sleep close by their mother?

DH and I cuddle our 3 y/o to sleep every night and pop him in his bed. He will wake usually around 11pm on average and come into bed with us. Some nights we are going to bed late so we don't get a chance to cuddle each other, but we know what time he roughly wakes, so as adults we deal with that. Other nights we will get a good hour or so in bed, just the two of us before he comes in.

I certainly don't like sleeping alone, it sounds like you don't either. Why should young children be forced to? I hope you and your DP can work out something that suits both of you, so that you are still getting some special time together, as I believe that is important as well. But really, if you genuinely cannot sleep with them in the bed, perhaps you could sleep on a separate surface in the same room or something.

I agree ...

Could you buy a bigger bed??


** end of transmission **

[peanuthead]

I'm not a fan of co-sleeping, my 9 month old son will come into bed with me on really unsettled nights. If my partner is staying over he will actually be the one who brings him into bed! I must say though, I myself would be quite uncomfortable about having someone elses children in bed with me. I don't know if this is why the OP doesnt like it, or if its just the fact they want alone time.

[shinebrite]

It's interesting to hear your perspective as an adult, who feels quite put out at not being able to sleep next to your DP. Yet, you are an adult. How much more so do you think that small children may have an intense need and desire to sleep close by their mother?

DH and I cuddle our 3 y/o to sleep every night and pop him in his bed. He will wake usually around 11pm on average and come into bed with us. Some nights we are going to bed late so we don't get a chance to cuddle each other, but we know what time he roughly wakes, so as adults we deal with that. Other nights we will get a good hour or so in bed, just the two of us before he comes in.

I certainly don't like sleeping alone, it sounds like you don't either. Why should young children be forced to? I hope you and your DP can work out something that suits both of you, so that you are still getting some special time together, as I believe that is important as well. But really, if you genuinely cannot sleep with them in the bed, perhaps you could sleep on a separate surface in the same room or something.

Agree, I've heard of some people having 2 beds put together. We have a king size and when number 3 comes we'll probably have a single mattress on the floor for one to go on if things get squishy. Me and dh DO like our own space but hey, there's the kitchen, the lounge, the bath for those things too... they grow up, they wont be doing it forever