Homebirths and siblings?

**wannabee** · 02-08-2011 19:41

For those who have previously home birthed - were siblings present and if so what ages and how did you and they cope?

**missie_mack** · 02-08-2011 20:17

My Ds is 4 and slept most of the time I was labouring which seems to be pretty common as most people tend to labour at night (although I should add I ended up being a hospital transfer which is a long long story)

**SassyMummy** · 02-08-2011 20:47

I haven't done this yet, but am planning for my daughter to attend. I figure I'll use it to show her how a natural, normal birth goes... she'll be bombarded with messages about hospitalised, medicated, surgical, etc birth for hte rest of her life... I'd like for her to at least get to see what a REAL birth CAN be.

Mum will be there as her support person, in case she needs taking care of.

**1+1=5** · 02-08-2011 21:00

I had a 3.5 yr old and a 7 year old when i had my home birth. The kids woke up at 7am-ish and I had bub at 8:45am, they didn't even know I was in labour as I was in our spare room. we bought a couple of toys for them (Playdoh set and a Wii game) that we pulled out for the occasion but we didn't need it! I had bub, dh and I sat around for 10 minutes enjoying him and the boys wandered in looking for us...lol.

**Lillynix** · 02-08-2011 21:06

When DS2 was born at home, my then 3.5yo DD and then 2yo DS1 were there and they were fine, totally excited and over the moon to be honest!

I talked a lot about baby being born at home, what types of noises I might make, which was okay etc etc during my pregnancy.

I had a quick labour which started at 4am, so they were sleeping, they got up as normal at 6am, DH got them brekky, turned the TV on, and at 6:40am I gave birth, they heard me, came rushing in and were just SO excited to see their little brother. The photos we have of them grinning ear to ear are just magical!

**wannabee** · 03-08-2011 11:35

Thanks for the replies - sounds as though older siblings cope, but wondering if my little one will be too young at only 16mths when bub is due. My mum can always take him if labour is long and it all gets too much. I'd really like both to be with us for the actual birth though.

**kbf2plus2** · 06-08-2011 20:54

Our DD1 was 16 months old when our DD2 was born. We wanted her at the birth but didn't take into account how attached she was to me. She was concerned about me with each contraction and I found I wasn't able to focus on what I was doing. Instead of working with my contractions, I kept shutting them down.

Ended up being a very long labour and DD2 got stuck (shoulder dystocia). There were lots of other factors at play but I believe having DD1 there at that age was a mistake.

Because she was our first and seemed so "grown up" we thought she'd be OK, but we were wrong. Also, we probably didn't prepare her for what was going to be going on.

Didn't have either girl at the birth of our son, which was probably a good thing... 'cause things went a bit pear-shaped and it would have been frightening for them, I expect.

However, at the birth of bubba number 4, we are hoping to have them there. Will make sure they are well informed about what to expect so there is nothing for them to be concerned about... and ultimately, will leave the decision up to them. If they really DON'T want to be there, that's ok.

**The Fox** · 06-08-2011 21:02

my DS had just turned 2 about 2 weeks before DD2 was born and he slept through the whole thing and woke up a few minuets after she was born. I had a quick labour though, only 17mins of strong contractions, our midwife didnt even make it in time so it ended up just being me and my DF then my DS when he woke up. All he said when he saw us was baby and then he toddled off and had brekky

**nats** · 07-08-2011 11:32

DS was present for most of my labour with DD. He was just over 2 and quite terrified. To this day (he's nearly 5 now) he still remembers and when I ask him if he would like another baby sister or brother he replies "NO! too loud"
At one point DH took him out for a whle and they didn't return till she was born.
All in all I think it was beneficial for him in the long run. Clearly we all survived it despite the noise LOL
He can afford to learn that pain and noise doesn't nessesarily need to be stopped and silenced (or if he doesn't he may make a good obstetrician

)

**maria02** · 07-08-2011 18:43

My brother was born at home, I was 6 and my sister was 4. I don't think either of us remember too much - she was in labour for ages and I think I got bored and wandered off to the loungeroom and read a book for a while- came back at the time he was actually born and got a bit cranky it wasn't a girl like I was hoping for. Not sure how helpful that was as we were both a good bit older than your little one. Just thought I would mention though that 21 years later all I can actually remember is reading a book in the loungeroom and not being impressed when I was told it was a boy, so unless I just have a super bad memory, your little one probably isn't going to remember a lot!