First Public Tantrum!

**nemosmum** · 22-09-2005 15:46

My 14month old DS just had his first public tantrum

We were on our way home from the gym and I usually stop at the park at let him out to walk the rest of the way home(as its only a v.short distance). He was fine until he saw some balloons (a realestate agent had put up for a open house) and he wanted one. Well he went balistic when I said no and attemtpted to redirect him to some flowers instead! He was kicking and crying and about to throw himself down on the concrete so I just quickly grabbed him and had to struggle with him for five minutes just to get him to sit in his pram/put his belt on etc.........he screamed all the way home and only stopped when we got inside our house. The whole time I kept thinking is this the start of something HORRIBLE- The Public Tantrum, where your put on display as the worst mother in the world while your child screams out of control

Ds has had very small tantrums previously at home but only for me,he usually just lies down on the floor and whinges for about 2 secs then gets up and starts playing again (I actually thought it was really cute and have been telling everyone how sweet his little tanties are!) BOY WAS I WRONG!!!!!

Anyone out there experienced the fury of a PUBLIC TANTRUM?
If so please help with tips, advice, horror stories

etc

**Nickster** · 22-09-2005 16:18

No, it hasn't happened to me yet - I've got all that to look forward to soon enough. Oh god, you poor thing, how embarrassing. I'm sure everyone around knew he was just having a tanty, but it didn't make it any easier, I'll bet. Sympathy to you!!

AM · 22-09-2005 17:07

O YES!!
It was in Myers of all places, I was pushing the pram, and ds was pushing as well, and he wanted to go left, and I was going right, and it was all on!

Like nothing i had ever seen before, and as he lay on the ground crying and screaming, i just stood there, mouth open, jaw hanging, as it was the first time he had done anything remotely like that.

He just would not stop, so I picked him up like a sack of spuds, we went back to the car and i popped him into the sling, and he was fine after that.

It was really crowded in the shopping center too, as there was some kids thing on, and as i had to walk past all those mums and kids, I just pretended I was on a desert island somewhere, laying in the sun! Denial!

**jamb** · 22-09-2005 17:15

Have to laugh apprenticemomma- my very first tantrum was over pram pushing. I was about 2yrs old in Myers (as it was known back then) and I was "helping" mum push the pram. Well when we got to the escalator mum said hop back in and it was on for young and old apparently!!

I dont think i got to help after that episode

**maybe1more** · 22-09-2005 18:18

I discovered a few weeks ago the embarrament of my darling son

chucking a wobbley at the supermarket, he wouldnt get into the trolley to start off with so i let him walk BIG MISTAKE- he ran off and althoug i kept calling him he didnt take notice he kept running, i left the trolley and my handbag

to chase after him and caught him, lucky when i returned to my trolley my handbag was still there, i didnt think about when i when to chase him, he still wouldnt get into the trolley i picked him up and he was kicking me and screaming (ear pericing) I grabbed my handbag and left my shopping and took my screaming son home! I now go shopping either on my own when my dp gets home or i make him come with me on the weekend!

**clairbear** · 22-09-2005 21:01

Great to hear these stories, I am not alone! My husband says this is my comeuppance for rolling my eyes at kids chucking tantrums in public before I was a parent!
I can't take my two year old to the local shopping mall anymore, something always sets him off eg. I go in the opposite direction to what he wants me to, I let him out to have a ride on the Bob the Builder thing and he doesn't want that one he wants the other one at the other end of the mall that another kid is always on, i let him out to walk then he runs away or wants to be picked up, he wants a milkshake but then throws it on the floor, etc., etc,.etc.

He is so happy and easygoing at home or in the park...I can only guess the complete lack of power/independence/autonomy (which toddlers thrive on) by being schlepped around in the stroller and maybe the overstimulation in the shopping centre are factors as to why it happens......or else they just have a radar that tells them the best places to embarrass their parents

I do groceries on the internet now, and avoid the mall like the plague.....BONUS: my spending sprees have dropped dramatically

**Elfin** · 22-09-2005 21:27

Gee this happens to me too. It is always worse when you have a disapproving audience. I just avoid all eye contact, do our thing and get the hell out of there as quickly as we can. We always seem to leaving somewhere with a scream

**RuthK** · 26-09-2005 07:48

My 3 year old has been doing it more and more lately.

Don't feel embarrassed. Whenever I see another woman dealing with a tantrum toddler I don't feel anger at her, but empathy for the frustration of her situation. And those other people who look disapprovingly at you, well either they never had kids, or have quickly forgotten what it was like to have them. They should be pitied that they are so small-minded (I usually give them a look back of pity, they quickly turn away)

I can't offer much advice to stop the child's tantrum, other than to laugh at them. Often it stops him as he's not getting the response he desires.

R

Ky · 26-09-2005 15:10

My ds had a whopper last week in the wupermarket!

I put him in the trolley as his Daddy had put him into shoes that were too small for him and he had ended up getting blisters so this was about day three of letting them breathe through not putting shoes on.

He started almost as soon as I got into the actual store ... he was crying, trying to climb out, saying "I don't like, I want my Mummy, I want to get out, Nooooooo, It hurts!". You can imagine that I just wanted to curl up in a little ball in the corner and suck my thumb with my eyes closed!

There were people walking past us shaking thier heads, I was asked why this poor child had been taken from his mother, people were muttering "child abuser" under thier breath etc. He kept this up until we got to the checkout and a sweet little old lady started talking to him. Instant smiles, giggles and sweet conversation ... grrrr! I had spoken calmly to him, only given him a light tap on his leg once as he was about to fall out of the trolley and had told several people that "I am his mother, and he is just not happy that he isn't getting his own way, so butt out!".

I got home to find that my dh was already home ... I sighed a huge sigh of relief, told him to deal with HIS children and started unpacking the groceries. He sat them down in the playroom to watch a dvd on the computer, came back out to the kitchen to find me trying to stuff things into the freezer sitting on the floor bawling my eyes out!

He then made me a coffee, sat me on the couch and just held me until I felt better! He had had the kids for the day the saturday before and had ended up just as stressed and they had been good that day! He kinda understands how I feel when I have had a tough day with them now!

**Artemis** · 26-09-2005 15:15

I agree Ruth.. I always feel empathy for mums... we just behave as we would if she tantrumed at home. I calmly tell her that she can't have/do xyz and will wait until she feels calmer to continue doing whatever we were. If she would like a hug.... she knows where to find me. I find that her tantrums are very short lived. I think that it is well within my rights as a parent to help direct her.. but I understand that hse may not see it that way

I think that tears and tantrums are just a natural part of growing up... but it can be a shocker out and about.