:( Not happy...

**c2p08** · 27-07-2011 12:26

My mum is p!ssing me off today. Actually, everyone is p!ssing me off today not just my mum.

Firstly, DD isn't sleeping well at the moment, not quite sure why. Sunday night she didn't sleep coz she was in pain (she gets rash's from not wiping properly after going to the toilet while at her dads house and i deal with it all night when she comes home).

Then, DH and i aren't connecting properly atm, his boss is away for a week or so and he is/has been stressed about being the boss at work with 2 new people starting this week, plus we are going away in september and arn't sure how we're going to pay for it, but we can't miss the trip coz we have to see my grandad and DH's grandad who are both at the end of their lives. On top of that DH's grandad had a heart attack a few days ago and DH wishes he could be there. Last night he found out his cat that he had to give up a few months ago coz i am allergic to her (we found out after having her with us for 3 months i had an alergy) she had kittens and DH really misses his princess.

Then i had a big argument with Telstra over a phone bill that we disconnected in November last year- they disconnected it in march apparently, even though we had been with another carrier since december. They are trying to say we owe them over $1500 when we should only owe them $350..

And then finally, i called mum to talk to her coz i'm having a sh!t day and she hands up on me because my sister needed to talk. When she called me back she told me my older sister was having a rough time with Docs (she has our nephews with her and is trying to get their help financially but they wont help unless she gets legal custody but Legan aid wont help her and she can't afford a lawyer), and also with being pregnant, not working (her work was closing down so she stopped working all together), her DH is going into the police force and she is also buying a house. Mum and i were talking about it all. My sister has always planned every inch of her life, right now, with such bad planning on her behalf i don't feel sorry for her. She chose to get pregnant now whilst fighting to get financial help to have our nephews with her, she chose to move house while pregnant and she chose to quit her job.

My sisters have always had a go at me for ''not planning'' my life like them, living day to day, how things come. But now, i'm surpose to feel sorry for her plans going all a$$ up? Why should i feel sorry for her when i was going through court with my DD's dad i was told it was MY fault that my life was sh!t, when now, my life is going great- even with all the drama in it, it's still great!. don't get me wrong, i feel bad for all her drama and i hope that everything does calm dwn for her, but i dont feel sorry for her.

Am i really a b!tch or do i have grounds to just feel like i dont care right now..

**remembertobreathe** · 27-07-2011 12:36

Well within your right!

Who the hell tells family members they've screwed their life up because they didn't 'plan' it to a tee.. I've never had a plan and i'm in a better position than most.

I wouldn't worry about it. It's your sisters life and her choice to take it all on.

If you're happy, stay happy, I find the less I know about other peoples lives most of the time the happier I am!

**c2p08** · 27-07-2011 13:17

Thanks, we've always had a really rocky relationship and it was made worse when i had my daughter (i think it was partially coz i could stay home with DD and my sister had to return to work when he DD was only 6wks old) she told me she was jealous.

I have had alot going on and am finally in a place where everything is slowly falling or has fallen into place and dealing with my sisters dramas that shes created has made me annoyed coz i never got any understanding for anything but am expected to always be understanding of everyone else.

**KandBs Mumma** · 27-07-2011 13:48

Your sister sounds like my sister inlaw. We had babies at the same time (my first and her 3rd) it was just a big competition to her, right through the pregnancy and still is

Then when I told her we are finally doing what we wanted to before we found out I was pregnant with my DD (had booked flights and everything!) which was to move to Australia, she got all grumpy told me that we were going to make anything of ourselves and that it was a bad decision, all because she wants to leave but her 2 oldest children are with another man and he wont let them go. I ended up just laughing at her because she really was jealous, how come my life can be sooo good and happy and not hers???

Live your life how you want to and dont take your sisters c$$p on board. She made her bed now she has to lay in it, just like you made yours. You just happened to get up on the right side one day and it all went well for you.
Everyone makes their own decisions and has to live by them no matter what happens. She needs to lump it and get over it and stop bringing you and anyone else into it. There is always time for her to try get custody of her kids (even though thats not what she wants to do) like when she is in a better position to do so. At this time the courts might not even see in her favour...

Its better to sit back and watch the drama pass by then give your opinion to someone who wont even appreciate it. I wouldnt feel sorry for her either!!

**c2p08** · 27-07-2011 21:16

[QUOTE=Jess14;5981563]There is always time for her to try get custody of her kids (even though thats not what she wants to do) like when she is in a better position to do so. At this time the courts might not even see in her favour... QUOTE]

She is trying to get 'legal' custody of our nephews, both the boys parents have said they want her to have custody of the boys but she can't get legal aid to go to court to make it legal... Then she can get the help from DoCS to pay for the boys (which is what she needs to be able to stay at home rather then working atm).

I spoke to mum tonight and she bascially told me that i need to let up on my sister coz shes 'going through alot'. i'm so sick of hearing this from my family. When i was in an abusive relationship with a 6month old my mum let my other sister cut me out of her wedding and didn't even ask her to incorporate me into it. Then when DD was 11 mths old i finally left her dad- I started the court stuff with my ex trying to take DD off me (less then a mth after we split he was living with/engaged to another woman who was pushing him to try and get DD from me), and refused to leave me alone (i was getting abusive msg's/calls from him/his family, ones where her dad was threatening to take DD away and i'd never see her again to me being killed etc) and i was still told to 'give them a break' but noone gave me one.