Would you speak up?

[samsausage]

This question follows on from an earlier thread.

Whilst I can understand that there are people who feel strongly that we shouldn't judge the actions or behaviours of other parents, I believe that that should never override our responsibility to advocate for a child we have concerns about.

I'm very blessed in many ways and have a happy, relatively easy life. However if that suddenly changed and I ended up financially struggling with perhaps substance abuse or mental health issues and my son was being neglected or abused, I really sincerely hope that if someone noticed that they raised their concerns rather than worried about causing me distress.

[just her chameleon]

Yes I would speak up - if I had genuine concerns. I think sometimes people read too much into situations though. Just because something is happening that you don't agree with, or wouldn't do yourself does not automatically = child abuse.

***this comment is not in relation to any recent thread on bubhub. It's simply how I feel about the question OP asked

[Littlemissmetal]

Unless there was clear evidence that i felt was sufficient enough, then no I would not. For me to get involved it would have to be a pretty close friend or family member, and I would not go straight to the "appropriate authorities", I would express my concern to the person and then offer all the help and advice I could.

[Jakois]

I would report any genuine concerns of abuse. Absolutely.

[Roopee]

Well. I have will continue to report to DOCS when I think there is a clear case of abuse or neglect. Done it before and would do it again.

However, I would hate to think that my 'opinion' or whatever, resulted in someone being unfairly placed under suspicion.

I read that other thread and I am in two minds about it. I had a kid in hospital for one week. It sucked! I had 3 other kids to think about, my husband worked, my family live away and DH's family were working full time. it was TOUGH! but we did it because we have amazing friends. I will never forget the guilt I felt at spending so much time away from my other kids while I ensured my sick child was not ever left alone.
Organising that for just one week was a mission in itself, I cant even begin to imagine what or how those with chronically ill children do it and cope. And because I don't have any idea of what it's like puts me in NO position to judge.
How do we know that the parents dont suffer a mental illness. A physical disability? The other child have learning or development delays? We have NO idea WHAT that (or any other) family deals with on a day to day basis.
So while we may be able to sit there and say I would never do that, I'd spend every minute there, I'd just DO it etc etc.....well?

So yes, if I was suspcious that a child was being abused/neglected etc then yeah I'd report that for sure but I'd make sure my 'judgement' wasn't clouding my decision.

[samsausage]

Thanks for the replies

I know it's hard but it would be great if we could leave that other thread out of the picture. I'm interested in some answers and don't want this one closed.

Jakois - what would you class as genuine concerns, any example?

Blue boys - is there any example you can think of which would send you straight to DOCS?

[Fuchsia!]

there is a huge difference between THINKING and KNOWING a child is being a abused.

I think it is our duty to report any child abuse that we KNOW is happening. I don't think our opinions and perhaps thinking someone is enough to report. I think there needs to be genuine concerns and also some type of evidence that its happening.

[Boobycino]

Yep - I think genuine concerns should be reported. DOCS don't just swoop in and take happy children from healthy households, but they can investigate or offer support or education to parents.

If nobody ever reported their suspicions/observations no child would be saved from truly toxic situations.

[samsausage]

there is a huge difference between THINKING and KNOWING a child is being a abused.

I think it is our duty to report any child abuse that we KNOW is happening. I don't think our opinions and perhaps thinking someone is enough to report. I think there needs to be genuine concerns and also some type of evidence that its happening.

As for the other thread, I don't believe the child was being abused and didn't need to be reported at that stage.

Thanks Fuchsia, this goes some way to explaining why people may not voice concerns.

My attitude comes from a 'risk vs benefit' assessment if that makes sense. I'd rather risk offending the adult than not reporting suspected abuse/neglect.

Btw I'm not saying you are wrong, just explaining why I feel the way I do.

[Nowhere]

Neglect and or abuse yes I would speak to the appropriate case workers.