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  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    I dont know what a DV exemption is
    DV is domestic violence. You can get an exemption that has to be redone every 6 months so you dont have to claim child support. Its not an easy thing to get and involved a few chats with a social worker. Its for cases where claiming CS may make the DV situation worse.

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to HELPihavea2yrold! For This Useful Post:

    Lovemyfam  (16-10-2011)

  3. #62
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    ............................
    Last edited by Lovemyfam; 30-11-2012 at 01:55.

  4. #63
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    dal...you can think what you like but i have a 10 year old son who's dad doesnt want to know him. sure i think he's an idiot but who do i put the responsibility on.....ME. I didnt know him well enough to be having sex with him so I have to be responsible for MY CHOICE. your other examples are not even close to the same thing. I am a woman who makes bad choices at times but i dont go blaming anyone else for them.

  5. #64
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    oh and for the record...do i think non custodial parent should pay child support...yes. should a father be allowed to see his kids if there is no reason not to ...yes....do i think parents who walk away are losers...yes. Do i think that a man needs to protect himself if he doesnt want a child...yes, do i think it is also the womans responsibilty to protect herself...yes. in normal circumstances i get the point you are making...but....what i said was aimed at one post on here. She can complain all she wants about her partner not having access, i would back that up, but it is about the child. i may think differently to you. i am a mother, and a step parent. i recieve cs and it is paid. i have a father who sees his kids and one that doesnt. its not like i dont see it from all angels. anyway i shall leave you to it.

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    HELPihavea2yrold!  (16-10-2011)

  7. #65
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    My partner is on the verge of thinking of going down this road, he pays his cs through salary sacrafice, he provides his kids with SO much more than he should because she goes out spending her money on alcohol every weekend, and he is still getting messed up.... we have had nothing but problems since day one.....and now, one of the boys doesn't want to be here with us, because he gets into trouble.... (they don't get disciplined with their mother) she doesnt do the kids homework with them, they frequently come to us without things like undies and socks, threatens him when he takes the boys back to her in their school clothes, as its embarrasing for them (as she doesn't return clothes from our place) , yet we wonder how embarrassing it is for kids to wear second hand clothes that are full of holes, and that's what she bought for the start of kindergarten, its just.......yeah he cops A LOT of hell from her.... I know some dads really are dead beats (my sons father for example) But i do feel sorry for most dads they are on the wrong end of the stick....

  8. #66
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    I pay the CS on time, I even pay more so that I can have a buffer in case a big bill comes in. What gives me the s***s is when I learn that my ex is complaining about having no money after going down the coast on her own for a week, when i had the kids, and could I spare oh, I don't know a couple of hundred so she can feed the kids? She has a new partner and I am being limited as to the amount of time I can have my children as it impacts her welfare payments.

    The judge mentioned at the divorce hearing that if the kids were a bit older, he would have allowed them to choose, something that they can do at a later stage. (I have this in writing)

    She told me recently that she is thinking of leaving here and going back to live near her parents in another state. I have already got legal advice as to whether I can challenge this idea, and it may mean that I get the kids full time.

    Her partner earns a heck of a lot more than me, but does not contribute to the household. She still calls me with her problems, expecting me to fix them for her, but every time I have the kids, I have no partner, no support at all. How is it that she won't let me have greater access to my kids if she feels she cannot handle it? Simple answer: Money. If I had the kids 50 / 50, she would lose half the CSA payment, and half her welfare payment. Lousy reason to make the kids suffer when she continually yells at them and her partner.

    I have bought a lot of clothes for my children and, over the course of the past year, the clothes have gone home to mummy's to show her, never to return. I cannot continue to pay for their clothes, if I don't even have the clothes here.

  9. #67
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    My ex dh doesn't pay child support. I don't need it and would prefer he spends that money on providing a stable home for his kids. We do split the cost of education and health care. Due to his work commitments he currently only sees one of his kids every other weekend and I feel bad for him, as I know he would love more time. His other son is almost 18 and given they are both so busy they catch up occasionally....
    I dont like my ex husband and he doesn't like me, we are divorced for very valid reasons lol we divorced over 10 years ago now.
    My point is just because we don't like each other doesn't mean either of us have the right to financially punish one another ..... It's about the kids, not us !!

  10. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peterhau View Post
    I pay the CS on time, I even pay more so that I can have a buffer in case a big bill comes in. What gives me the s***s is when I learn that my ex is complaining about having no money after going down the coast on her own for a week, when i had the kids, and could I spare oh, I don't know a couple of hundred so she can feed the kids? She has a new partner and I am being limited as to the amount of time I can have my children as it impacts her welfare payments.

    The judge mentioned at the divorce hearing that if the kids were a bit older, he would have allowed them to choose, something that they can do at a later stage. (I have this in writing)

    She told me recently that she is thinking of leaving here and going back to live near her parents in another state. I have already got legal advice as to whether I can challenge this idea, and it may mean that I get the kids full time.

    Her partner earns a heck of a lot more than me, but does not contribute to the household. She still calls me with her problems, expecting me to fix them for her, but every time I have the kids, I have no partner, no support at all. How is it that she won't let me have greater access to my kids if she feels she cannot handle it? Simple answer: Money. If I had the kids 50 / 50, she would lose half the CSA payment, and half her welfare payment. Lousy reason to make the kids suffer when she continually yells at them and her partner.

    I have bought a lot of clothes for my children and, over the course of the past year, the clothes have gone home to mummy's to show her, never to return. I cannot continue to pay for their clothes, if I don't even have the clothes here.
    So wrong.. I know this situation well and feel for you

  11. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by DaddyLarge View Post
    What a truly abhorrent thing to say.

    Would you say the same to someone who gets together with a partner who subsequently starts beating them? Would you say the same to someone who gets together with someone who later grabs the children and spirits them away overseas, outside of the reach of the legal process? Would you say the same about a person who has custody of their children and isn't supported by the other parent? Would you say the same about a person who has children that they are unable to financially support, and looks to the community to provide social welfare?

    Would you just say, "that's your problem, maybe you should wait until you know someone before you jump into bed"?

    (The questions are rhetorical, by the way. I know full well what your responses would be.)

    It ISN'T a case of "too bad, you should have known better" and maintaining such an attitude (and SUPPORTING such an attitude) is just beyond contemptible. Sometimes people make bad choices. Sometimes they make what seem like good choices, but end up realising that the information from which they made their choice was incomplete or incorrect. The entire reason why the system exists is because things happen. The reason why people look for way to improve the system is to ensure that as many participants as possible - mothers, fathers AND children - achieve outcomes that are as positive as possible.

    By the way, it isn't just "his" problem - it's also the "innocent child's" problem. On face value, the child is the one who is being deprived of their right to enjoy a relationship with its father.

    But let's not let THAT fact get in the way...
    I have to agree with this. Exactly this. Foresight is great, yes, but who can honestly say that they've never made what they think is a good choice and have then had it backfire or go terribly wrong? Im speaking generally here..


 

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