+ Reply to Thread
Page 6 of 7 FirstFirst ... 4567 LastLast
Results 51 to 60 of 69
  1. #51
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Victoria
    Posts
    2,610
    Thanks
    1,023
    Thanked
    511
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    But that system is punishing the child. So we have a mum, that in pure spite lets say, won't let the father see his child. Why should the child go without and pay for the mother's actions? The better course is to pay your cs, gather evidence against her, and take her to court. The child has the right to be supported by both parents.

    The thing is to, the amount most non custodial parents pay is no where near half the costs of raising the child. So according to your suggestion, maybe it should be made that unless the father pays for 50% of everything his access is reduced... if we are going to equate money with visitation....
    If custodial parent lost custody because they are being a total butthead then the child can go live with other parent or vise versa the child wont lose and maybe the custodial parent will learn a lesson, IMO a child that loses out on visitation with a parent loses a lot more then if they dont get CS payments, especially boys who dont see fathers, that is what they learn how to be a man etc, same sex parents are so important and by wit holding them you are not allowing your child to become the person they can be.

    Quote Originally Posted by DaddyLarge View Post
    That is incredibly disingenuous. Recognising and being defeated by the futility of the battle is not a comment on the battle's unworthiness. A non-custodial parent giving up a fight that has proven to be unwinnable isn't proof that they obviously mustn't love their child enough.

    Once again, there are absolutely penalties in place for custodial parents ignoring access orders - however, in practice they are almost never imposed, and given the nature of the transgression there is not even a practical redress available.

    While child support and access should never be predicated upon each other, they ARE inextricably linked. They are the two most prominent aspects of the relationship between the parents and the children of failed relationships, and are the central pillars that define how the child is to be raised and provided for. They each are supposed to provide security and comfort to each parent, and enforce the right of the child to enjoy a sound relationship with both parents. Unless the two work effectively in unison, the child is not going to achieve the best outcomes.

    I believe that there ALSO should be a tightening of the child support system, including reasonable mandatory minimum payments that can only be waived after a hearing, which would go some way toward preventing people from avoiding paying anything by not reporting income.

    But there IS a disparity in how the two regimes are enforced, and it is a disparity that, in my view, should be rectified.

    Also, it is pointless to demand that courts, lawyers and judges be removed from the system. It would be great if everyone plays nice and does the right thing, but when it comes to two fallible humans at a point in their life when they are angry, upset and at their worst, sooner or later you're going to need someone independent to make the decision.

    And once it gets there, not everyone is capable of digesting and retaining legislation and precedent. They are going to need to ask someone for some help and advice.

    You can call them by other names, but that means courts and lawyers. They are easy targets, but without them it would be bedlam.


    ETA: there is a min it is like $32 a month even if you have no income and are homeless if you dont pay it just racks up.
    Last edited by Lovemyfam; 14-10-2011 at 05:11.

  2. #52
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Sydneys Northern Suburbs
    Posts
    47
    Thanks
    49
    Thanked
    28
    Reviews
    0
    Hi LovemyFam,
    I thought you would be in hozy by now,

    and sorry I know you can have a $"0" to pay rating if your out of work or below certain income level ..
    this is what I don't get with these current posts? it was my understanding that Centrelink set an amount of Child allowance and from that divy up the Primary carer got an $ amount against that claim... from that CSA
    look at ex/spouses ability to pay taking into account current earnings etc and made their allowances and arrived at a number..is this not the case??
    I am not auguring if its enough to sustain a good level of child care , food, clothing, school fees etc.. but the system run correctly should be able to look and see who's got a problem (Having a hard time financially) ie single parent with 3 kids lets say, and definitely who's not contributing...Get the blooding system to work then we'll all be better off...thanks FTD
    Last edited by FullTimeDada; 14-10-2011 at 08:24.

  3. #53
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Victoria
    Posts
    2,610
    Thanks
    1,023
    Thanked
    511
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by FullTimeDada View Post
    Hi LovemyFam,
    I thought you would be in hozy by now,

    and sorry I know you can have a $"0" to pay rating if your out of work or below certain income level ..
    this is what I don't get with these current posts? it was my understanding that Centrelink set an amount of Child allowance and from that divy up the Primary carer got an $ amount against that claim... from that CSA
    look at ex/spouses ability to pay taking into account current earnings etc and made their allowances and arrived at a number..is this not the case??
    I am not auguring if its enough to sustain a good level of child care , food, clothing, school fees etc.. but the system run correctly should be able to look and see who's got a problem (Having a hard time financially) ie single parent with 3 kids lets say, and definitely who's not contributing...Get the blooding system to work then we'll all be better off...thanks FTD
    Actually I am getting induced tonight so will be posting pics soon I am not sure but the system just seems to not work. I will have to post about my family and our awesome (not so) situation with all this since I can use some advice of my own, I know that my hubby has no job, and I make a mere $1400 a month (our rent is $900 not much wiggling room) and I have 4 kids and we still have to pay $32 a month, they dont count my income so based on his no job, no CL he isnt even in the country and we pay $32 a month ( I know its nothing really but...) so didnt realize that you could pay nothing. I dont mind paying but do resent it for many reasons I will have to start a new thread about lol we even had to borrow money to get groceries once because they just took $250 out of his account even though we were caught up. I felt a bit robbed
    Last edited by Lovemyfam; 14-10-2011 at 10:53.

  4. #54
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    2,634
    Thanks
    1,063
    Thanked
    348
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    If custodial parent lost custody because they are being a total butthead then the child can go live with other parent or vise versa the child wont lose and maybe the custodial parent will learn a lesson, IMO a child that loses out on visitation with a parent loses a lot more then if they dont get CS payments, especially boys who dont see fathers, that is what they learn how to be a man etc, same sex parents are so important and by wit holding them you are not allowing your child to become the person they can be.





    ETA: there is a min it is like $32 a month even if you have no income and are homeless if you dont pay it just racks up.
    There is no minimum payment. Several custodial parents on this forum receive no child support because their exs income is too low. I really cannot believe you are whinging about having to give your DHs child $32 a month. What would that buy a child? Not much! I dare say you knew about the child when you got involved. I personally would stay clear of a man who didnt look after his responsibilities.
    And who is decide if the parent is being 'a total butthead'? Just because one parent isnt in a childs life, doesnt mean that child goes without a positive same sex role model. My son doesnt have much to do with his father but has my brothers, father and stepfather, as well as some of my great male friends who are positive role models. The only thing my DS would learn from his father about 'being a man' is how to beat up women. Not a lesson I want for him.
    ETA: I do receive child support even though FOB isnt in DSs life much. I looked into getting a DV exemption but why should DS miss out and FOB get rewarded for DV?
    Last edited by HELPihavea2yrold!; 14-10-2011 at 17:30.

  5. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to HELPihavea2yrold! For This Useful Post:

    Crazyfamily  (15-10-2011),delirium  (15-10-2011),Gandalf  (15-10-2011)

  6. #55
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Victoria
    Posts
    2,610
    Thanks
    1,023
    Thanked
    511
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    nvmind just gonna get bashed I see
    Last edited by Lovemyfam; 15-10-2011 at 18:22.

  7. #56
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Victoria
    Posts
    2,610
    Thanks
    1,023
    Thanked
    511
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I dont know what a DV exemption is

  8. #57
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    ipswich
    Posts
    1,409
    Thanks
    413
    Thanked
    127
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote deleted by Moderator

    the reason your attitude is so wrong is because this isnt about the mother, its about an innocent child. your partner slept with her, thats his problem, maybe he should wait until he knows someone better before jumping in bed. yes dad should be able to see their children if they wish. i wonder if you know the full story anyway, you know his version. then there is her version and probably neither one is the truth.
    Last edited by Mod-Nomsie; 30-11-2012 at 05:14.

  9. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Crazyfamily For This Useful Post:

    delirium  (15-10-2011),Gandalf  (15-10-2011),HELPihavea2yrold!  (15-10-2011)

  10. #58
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Victoria
    Posts
    2,610
    Thanks
    1,023
    Thanked
    511
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    nvmind

  11. #59
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Victoria
    Posts
    2,610
    Thanks
    1,023
    Thanked
    511
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    crazyfamily pls erase my quote I am not here to be treated like crap, just gonna keep my personal stuff to myself.

  12. #60
    DaddyLarge's Avatar
    DaddyLarge is offline I put on my robe and wizard hat...
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    865
    Thanks
    485
    Thanked
    1,165
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Crazyfamily View Post
    your partner slept with her, thats his problem, maybe he should wait until he knows someone better before jumping in bed.
    What a truly abhorrent thing to say.

    Would you say the same to someone who gets together with a partner who subsequently starts beating them? Would you say the same to someone who gets together with someone who later grabs the children and spirits them away overseas, outside of the reach of the legal process? Would you say the same about a person who has custody of their children and isn't supported by the other parent? Would you say the same about a person who has children that they are unable to financially support, and looks to the community to provide social welfare?

    Would you just say, "that's your problem, maybe you should wait until you know someone before you jump into bed"?

    (The questions are rhetorical, by the way. I know full well what your responses would be.)

    It ISN'T a case of "too bad, you should have known better" and maintaining such an attitude (and SUPPORTING such an attitude) is just beyond contemptible. Sometimes people make bad choices. Sometimes they make what seem like good choices, but end up realising that the information from which they made their choice was incomplete or incorrect. The entire reason why the system exists is because things happen. The reason why people look for way to improve the system is to ensure that as many participants as possible - mothers, fathers AND children - achieve outcomes that are as positive as possible.

    By the way, it isn't just "his" problem - it's also the "innocent child's" problem. On face value, the child is the one who is being deprived of their right to enjoy a relationship with its father.

    But let's not let THAT fact get in the way...

  13. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to DaddyLarge For This Useful Post:

    Bunny Lover  (28-07-2012),Lovemyfam  (16-10-2011),PomPoms  (15-10-2011)


 

Similar Threads

  1. CVS / Amnio advice & experiences
    By zooey in forum Pregnancy Tests & Help / Support with Results
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 04-01-2013, 21:48
  2. 2 losses - Your experiences/ Causes?/ Naturophath advice?
    By OneLove in forum Pregnancy Loss Support
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 19-01-2012, 06:00

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Bamboo Lulu
Unique, non-toxic wooden eco toys for babies. Water-based paints, saliva-resistant & baby safe. Super soft, prints & basics for baby, made from bamboo & organic cotton. Hypoallergenic - great for eczema relief. FREE gift with purchase. Code BUBHUB
sales & new stuffsee all
True Fairies
True Fairies is the first interactive website where children can engage and speak with a real fairy through the unique webcam fairy portal. Each session is tailored to the child, and is filled with enchantment and magic.
Visit website to find out more!
featured supporter
LCF Fun Languages Australia
We offer foreign language lessons for children 2-12 yrs in French, Spanish, Mandarin, Italian or German as after-school and preschool clubs or private language tuition. This is play-based, full immersion language learning with proven results!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!