I have to say that this thread is a lot calmer than I expected and I want to thank everyone for that.
I can't imagine anything stopping me from wanting to see my kids. It is a situation that would make me fiercely emotional. The down side of that for almost everyone is that when emotions are high, rational thought is very very low. Things are said that are difficult to forgive or even apologise for!
Add to that mix lawyers who are not interested in best outcomes but billable hours and no one wins but them!!
Taking the emotion out of the situation is the key. You need to get them to agree to look at the situation in a way that is best for the kids. PERIOD, if you can get there then try to involve a neutral third party (mutual aquaitance you both respect, priest, counsellor etc) that will sit down with you and help you to try and hash out a situation that works for the KIDS!!! and then both of you in that order.
These situations are never easy but always harder when emotions are high so try and take the emotions (and LAWYERS) out of it for the best chance of good outcomes IMO
Best of luck to all