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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by FullTimeDada View Post
    Hi Crazyfamily,
    Re dads who don't pay, I can only try and lift your spirits but make the call, and call again get the system working for you, if he is working talk to the ATO they can be right ******** when informed.
    I don't have to tell you, your doing it for the kids right and they need a hero
    I cant comment on your last line I just don't get how this happens but I am sure lots of readers are shaking their heads All the best to you and kids FTD

    I get child support, what i meant was i know many many women and one dad who does not. and the fight has gone on for many years through the csa to get money. my ex pays, not much but her does pay. i would give up his lousy bit of money for my kids to never have to see him again though.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    Mothers do legally have to allow visitation in normal circumstances, as do custodial fathers. I'm not sure of your point Lovemyfam.
    Yes I'd like to know too.

  3. #13
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    I would assume that the point is that in the event that a non-custodial parent is delinquent in their child support obligations, there are (as there should be) a range of enforcement measures that are commonly used - garnishing salary, withholding tax returns, seizure of personal property etc. Moreover, aside from the costs of notifying the CSA of the delinquency the action to recover is funded by the state. The act also contains provisions for delinquent non-custodial parents to fact actual penalties (including prison terms) for repeatedly failing to comply with support orders. Again, any action that results is wholly funded by the state.

    In the event of a custodial parent denying access in contravention of existing court orders, in all but the most extreme cases the only remedy available to the non-custodial parent is to pursue and obtain another court order. The action has to be funded almost totally by the parent themselves, which in practice causes a significant amount of actions to be discontinued.

    While courts can also impose penalties against custodial parents for contempt, it requires the non-custodial parent to fund the action right through to that point (which is often prohibitive) and also regularly results in no real action, as the custodial parent can argue that any penalty will be to the detriment of the child.

    Also, by the time that the case gets to the point where the result will be anything other than yet another empty court order, the actions of the custodial parent has caused a level of estrangement between the child and the non-custodial parent that is often (successfully) argued as a reason to reduce or modify the original level of access.

    There is a significant disparity between the two situations.

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    Sorry DAL, I didn't realise this was the dads chat section, I wouldn't normally come barging in, I just clicked new posts. *hangs head in shame*.

    I totally agree with you, there is a disparity. I guess what got my hackles raised was this

    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    If women dont allow the men to see the kids they should go to jail
    I hardly think jailing parents is a positive idea.

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    Quote Originally Posted by wondergirl76 View Post
    Sorry DAL, I didn't realise this was the dads chat section, I wouldn't normally come barging in, I just clicked new posts. *hangs head in shame*.
    Doesn't bother me in the slightest. The more voices, the better the discussion.

    Quote Originally Posted by wondergirl76 View Post
    I totally agree with you, there is a disparity. I guess what got my hackles raised was this

    I hardly think jailing parents is a positive idea.
    True, it isn't positive. But the problem at the moment is that there is no real penalty available. Prison terms are extreme, but so is the idea that someone can unilaterally destroy the relationship between a child and a parent.

    In extreme cases where other enforcement options haven't resulted in a just result, I think there is a case for it to be an option - if for no other reason but to act as a very significant deterrent.

    Perhaps a better deterrent would be to include in the act a presumption that actively and wilfully denying a child that relationship makes a parent unfit? I would bet that if a parent knew that acting in such a way would mean that they would lose custody, it would stop very quickly.

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    Quote Originally Posted by wondergirl76 View Post
    I totally agree with you, there is a disparity. I guess what got my hackles raised was this

    If women dont allow the men to see the kids they should go to jail
    I hardly think jailing parents is a positive idea.
    Well do you think jailing non custodial parents for not paying is bad too? I just feel bad for non custodial dont get the support that custodial parents do is all. I think CS paying parents should be able to call CSA (as long as not a safety issue) and get the number and address of where the child is living, I am sure they have the address etc so they can get the check.

    Quote Originally Posted by DaddyLarge View Post
    Doesn't bother me in the slightest. The more voices, the better the discussion.



    True, it isn't positive. But the problem at the moment is that there is no real penalty available. Prison terms are extreme, but so is the idea that someone can unilaterally destroy the relationship between a child and a parent.

    In extreme cases where other enforcement options haven't resulted in a just result, I think there is a case for it to be an option - if for no other reason but to act as a very significant deterrent.

    Perhaps a better deterrent would be to include in the act a presumption that actively and wilfully denying a child that relationship makes a parent unfit? I would bet that if a parent knew that acting in such a way would mean that they would lose custody, it would stop very quickly.
    You are so much better at words than me.

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    never known of anyone to go to jail for not paying child support. most people that dont pay DO get away with it. But no, neither should go to jail. the system should be fairer and also include parents who dont want to see their kids being made responsible also. if the parent raising the child must give access then they should make it so the other parent must see the child (in cases where parents dont bother). here it is all unfair. i recieve child support from 2 people and actually think that one doesnt even come close to enough and the other is more than is needed. I dont think there is a solution that will suit everyone and it is to much effort to do things individually.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    Well do you think jailing non custodial parents for not paying is bad too? I just feel bad for non custodial dont get the support that custodial parents do is all. I think CS paying parents should be able to call CSA (as long as not a safety issue) and get the number and address of where the child is living, I am sure they have the address etc so they can get the check.



    You are so much better at words than me.
    Non custodial parents should be able to call CSA and get the address? How does CSA determine whether it's a safety issue, or is that up to the person on the end of the line to decide? Where does a persons right to privacy come in to play? That is a horrifying suggestion on all counts, and thankfully not one that will ever happen. And no. I don't think parents should be jailed for not paying child support. I don't think of jail as a viable option for healthy parenting.

    Btw the reason DAL is much better at words is.......
    Last edited by BH-bigbadbrad; 12-10-2011 at 10:16. Reason: Inflamatory

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    Quote Originally Posted by DaddyLarge View Post
    Perhaps a better deterrent would be to include in the act a presumption that actively and wilfully denying a child that relationship makes a parent unfit? I would bet that if a parent knew that acting in such a way would mean that they would lose custody, it would stop very quickly.
    Thay have (had?) that system in the US - parents who rightfully accused the other of s3xual and other abuse lost their children due to "parental alienation"... horrifying, unimaginable consequences could arrise. Often a mother OR father will actually 'kidnap' their child because the other parent has been abusive

    It's a very difficult situation, and I know my ex accused me of "taking his son" when he'd deliberately not want to see him and then play the victim. It's all very he-said/she-said but I don't want to see children going to live full-time with an abusive parent as happened in the States.

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    Hi Benji,
    Well, hasn't this subject taken off.. its very raw to me but my posts were about caring and love and looking after our children responsibly and now were locking up parents...and I hear (Da Judge, Lawyer) has entered the room..
    I say we treat this subject far too legally and I would keep the lawyers and courts out of all of it except, were the child is put in danger..far to often we here of terrible outcomes were parents are driven to extremes caused by a courts ruling...but parents should be made to be responsible (going legal) get them to sign a contract of care and responsibility for their children ? (I thought I had in my Head or heart) when my daughter was born , but when relationships fail, seems we (pardon the pun) throw baby out with the bathwater and conveniently forget and deny our responsibilities in all sorts of ways.. being upset, disappointed, angry even with a partner, has nothing to do with the rights of the child that they took on as their shared responsibility... this is what should be enforced and supported by the state at all costs, as we'll be a better society for it.. like don't buy a ticket , don't ride the train..
    Locking parents up forget it .. All the best FTD
    Last edited by FullTimeDada; 12-10-2011 at 10:58. Reason: spelling

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