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  1. #1
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    Fuchsia! is offline Winner 2009 - Best Signature
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    Shmoooooooosh! AKA jaxcoop
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    I don't have any advice as I haven't had to go through this but just wanted to say I hope everything gets sorted and he gets to spend some time with his kids again.

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    Before any court action they (your Dp and his ex) will need to attend mediation-whether that is a success or not, bottom line is that they will both be issued with a certificate.

    I would recommend checking out the familylawwebguide website for some invaluable advice

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    Hi Eleven3Eleven,
    These things can be rough on everyone cant they. The law is on your side he cant be prevented from seeing his kids (Only when a court order is involved) but actually making it happen is the hard part I would suggest (easier said than done). He has to arrange a private meeting between his ex and himself (meeting in a public place) and work out some mutually suitable arrangement to access his children. This will deliver a better outcome than any court lawyers can provide and save those $$$.
    Now reality kicks in achieving this, has he ever apologised to either ex mothers of his children, does he pay child maintenance towards their welfare, is he involved with day care fees, their schooling, or social pursuits (sports etc)? can I suggest the really hard part is it takes a lot of inner self reflection, honesty, stop with the blame game, mindfulness, biting the bullet, and a great deal of bravery (but with your rock solid support) and only If he is up to putting his pride, self image and past differences aside has he got any chance of winning, but what a prize and he'll come out better for it.
    How do I know... I've survived two broken marriages both 10-12 years in length (now there's a story) the second produced our beautiful daughter. Now it took a lot of cap in hand , tail between legs and realisation that I just had to do the right thing, I can now see and share her life equally with her Mum who I have a renewed friendship with.
    So I wish you all the best with your endeavour (luck doesn't play a part in this)
    it will be worth it FTD
    Last edited by FullTimeDada; 06-10-2011 at 09:06.

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    I don't have any advice either, sorry, but wanted to say I hope things work out for you all

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    Quote Originally Posted by FullTimeDada View Post
    Hi Eleven3Eleven,
    These things can be rough on everyone cant they. The law is on your side he cant be prevented from seeing his kids (Only when a court order is involved) but actually making it happen is the hard part I would suggest (easier said than done). He has to arrange a private meeting between his ex and himself (meeting in a public place) and work out some mutually suitable arrangement to access his children. This will deliver a better outcome than any court lawyers can provide and save those $$$.
    Now reality kicks in achieving this, has he ever apologised to either ex mothers of his children, does he pay child maintenance towards their welfare, is he involved with day care fees, their schooling, or social pursuits (sports etc)? can I suggest the really hard part is it takes a lot of inner self reflection, honesty, stop with the blame game, mindfulness, biting the bullet, and a great deal of bravery (but with your rock solid support) and only If he is up to putting his pride, self image and past differences aside has he got any chance of winning, but what a prize and he'll come out better for it.
    How do I know... I've survived two broken marriages both 10-12 years in length (now there's a story) the second produced our beautiful daughter. Now it took a lot of cap in hand , tail between legs and realisation that I just had to do the right thing, I can now see and share her life equally with her Mum who I have a renewed friendship with.
    So I wish you all the best with your endeavour (luck doesn't play a part in this)
    it will be worth it FTD

    Men should not have to do this to see their children, they have every right to the child and for them to think they have to tuck tail and kiss butt is absolutely sick to me. If women dont allow the men to see the kids they should go to jail or have whatever punishment the dad would get for not paying his support. if Dad is paying support and doing what he should have to do then his relationship with mom should not matter, she wouldn't have that kid if it wasn't for dad.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    Men should not have to do this to see their children, they have every right to the child and for them to think they have to tuck tail and kiss butt is absolutely sick to me. If women dont allow the men to see the kids they should go to jail or have whatever punishment the dad would get for not paying his support. if Dad is paying support and doing what he should have to do then his relationship with mom should not matter, she wouldn't have that kid if it wasn't for dad.
    i agree with you that good fathers should not have to go this far to see their kids but as for the mum should go to jail or "have same punnishment as dad would get for not paying support" well, here, that is nothing. in my experience NOTHING happens to dads who dont pay. so i guess the mum would get away with it. our court system often does not work though (i know as i must hand over 3 kids to a dad who has been found guilty of 5 sexual assults against women).

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    Quote Originally Posted by Crazyfamily View Post
    i agree with you that good fathers should not have to go this far to see their kids but as for the mum should go to jail or "have same punnishment as dad would get for not paying support" well, here, that is nothing. in my experience NOTHING happens to dads who dont pay. so i guess the mum would get away with it. our court system often does not work though (i know as i must hand over 3 kids to a dad who has been found guilty of 5 sexual assults against women).

    Big High to Crazyfamily and LovemyFam (think she's got her hands full at mo)

    In a perfect world, eh...

    Thought I would try and clarify some points to my original post... men behaving badly... upset wives, partners, families ..they complain we get the ****s, sulk, and withdraw and our relationships suffer the effects and the fall out is seen too often by the posts on this site.
    Now its a bit hard, stupid even to expect and get respect from a partner that's been wronged, badly treated and disrespected etc and then expect her to be as nice as pie with granting you privileges with your children (even if the law is even handed at granting access)...No, partners have got to play it fair with each other, (legal punishment '****' has no place here unless there is violence involve) even the family courts first step in these type matters is get you together and work it out or we'll use a big stick and you better be on the right side or you will be very disappointed
    Do the right thing and there can be happy outcomes........FTD

    Oh, and the ATO have the power to correct non payments in child welfare matters
    Last edited by FullTimeDada; 11-10-2011 at 13:38.

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    Hi Crazyfamily,
    Re dads who don't pay, I can only try and lift your spirits but make the call, and call again get the system working for you, if he is working talk to the ATO they can be right ******** when informed.
    I don't have to tell you, your doing it for the kids right and they need a hero
    I cant comment on your last line I just don't get how this happens but I am sure lots of readers are shaking their heads All the best to you and kids FTD

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    Quote Originally Posted by Crazyfamily View Post
    i agree with you that good fathers should not have to go this far to see their kids but as for the mum should go to jail or "have same punnishment as dad would get for not paying support" well, here, that is nothing. in my experience NOTHING happens to dads who dont pay. so i guess the mum would get away with it. our court system often does not work though (i know as i must hand over 3 kids to a dad who has been found guilty of 5 sexual assults against women).
    Shame I am sorry that he gets to see the kids if he has these charges.

    Quote Originally Posted by FullTimeDada View Post
    Big High to Crazyfamily and LovemyFam (think she's got her hands full at mo)

    In a perfect world, eh...

    Thought I would try and clarify some points to my original post... men behaving badly... upset wives, partners, families ..they complain we get the ****s, sulk, and withdraw and our relationships suffer the effects and the fall out is seen too often by the posts on this site.
    Now its a bit hard, stupid even to expect and get respect from a partner that's been wronged, badly treated and disrespected etc and then expect her to be as nice as pie with granting you privileges with your children (even if the law is even handed at granting access)...No, partners have got to play it fair with each other, (legal punishment '****' has no place here unless there is violence involve) even the family courts first step in these type matters is get you together and work it out or we'll use a big stick and you better be on the right side or you will be very disappointed
    Do the right thing and there can be happy outcomes........FTD

    Oh, and the ATO have the power to correct non payments in child welfare matters
    Unless the mom just plain doesnt like dad, maybe dad moved on and she is bitter, we all know that not all men are wonderful and that not all moms are wonderful some are spiteful and dont want to share the kids. If men HAVE to pay support then mom should HAVE to give visitation (unless dad is bad person, abusive etc) Maybe since they remove money from your account they can just send a social worker over to remove the kid from moms house for visitation.

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    Mothers do legally have to allow visitation in normal circumstances, as do custodial fathers. I'm not sure of your point Lovemyfam.


 

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