Parents complicity in sexualisation of children

[Whippet]

Young children don't have a s3xual self RM, that's what we're talking about. Children copying what they see adults/media doing and how it's damaging and confusing to young minds.

I think kids do have a sexual self but it doesn't need to be/shouldn't be expressed in adult ways. Clothing that accentuates breast size/shape is completely and utterly unneccessary on a child.

[RoarsomeMum]

Young children don't have a s3xual self RM, that's what we're talking about. Children copying what they see adults/media doing and how it's damaging and confusing to young minds.

I am sorry Benji but I simply disagree.

My daughter has never EVER seen masturbation or sexual activity but learned around 3 that she could comfort herself by manipulating her genitals.. It is labelled as "sexual behavior" because us ADULTS are damaged and confused.. I refuse to pass the damage onto my daughter.

Whether she wears a bra, a Bikini a mini skirt with full midriff showing at 3 years of age she should NOT be seen as sexual to the world..

but she has EVERY right to her "sexual self" something she shares with her and her alone..

I honestly think it is TOTALLY different to the message the media and adults show.

[Benji]

I think kids do have a sexual self but it doesn't need to be/shouldn't be expressed in adult ways. Clothing that accentuates breast size/shape is completely and utterly unneccessary on a child.

Could you explain to me how? I'm not quite sure that children's minds understand sexuality or sex.

RM, just saw your post, thanks for that - I agree with you that children do discover their bits but that's not sexual, I've never heard anyone refer to it as that. I also agree with you re her clothing, children should be able to run around completely nude without being considered provocative or whatever disgusting things some people may say. I think gstrings, bras etc on very young children is not only impractical but also very adult clothing that children will likely be confused by the messages they are getting.

[DaddyLarge]

I don't think some people have any idea of the damage that is being done by this new way of parenting. You're not raising a new little best friend, you're raising a child. (Not directed at anyone here - a general comment)

This. A million times this.

[Whippet]

Could you explain to me how? I'm not quite sure that children's minds understand sexuality or sex.

RM, just saw your post, thanks for that - I agree with you that children do discover their bits but that's not sexual, I've never heard anyone refer to it as that. I also agree with you re her clothing, children should be able to run around completely nude without being considered provocative or whatever disgusting things some people may say. I think gstrings, bras etc on very young children is not only impractical but also very adult clothing that children will likely be confused by the messages they are getting.

I agree with what RM said about masterbation and that kids will often discover that at a young age. However, sexuality is not just about s3x or touching of genitals. Sexuality is also who we are. We are women and men or boys and girls. We are straight or gay, strong or weak. This begins the discovery of our sexuality and that happens from day dot.

We like to keep children in a bubble of innocence therefore the idea that kids have sexuality seems wrong. But as RM said, we as adults make sexuality a dirty word and that is not something we like to hear in relation to children. Sexuality is not a dirty word, it is simply an element of what and who we are.

[RoarsomeMum]

Could you explain to me how? I'm not quite sure that children's minds understand sexuality or sex.

RM, just saw your post, thanks for that - I agree with you that children do discover their bits but that's not sexual, I've never heard anyone refer to it as that. I also agree with you re her clothing, children should be able to run around completely nude without being considered provocative or whatever disgusting things some people may say. I think gstrings, bras etc on very young children is not only impractical but also very adult clothing that children will likely be confused by the messages they are getting.

It is sexual, or seen as sexual.. Just ask the law.. Just ask the law, or Kinder or daycare or anyplace where they are TOTALLY uncomfortable and will not allow it at all.. They also wont allow her to run naked... THOSE things scream SEXUAL!!!! more than the media IMO.. My body is BAD! I can't touch it or show it EVER!!!!!!!

I can't be worried about a Gstring or Bra that my child will Never even wear when she is ALREADY not allowed to be naked or do cartwheels without shorts or swim without a T-Shirt.. at 3..

Freaking OATH there are confused messages..

[Benji]

I agree with what RM said about m@sterbation and that kids will often discover that at a young age. However, sexuality is not just about s3x or touching of genitals. Sexuality is also who we are. We are women and men or boys and girls. We are straight or gay, strong or weak. This begins the discovery of our sexuality and that happens from day dot.

We like to keep children in a bubble of innocence therefore the idea that kids have sexuality seems wrong. But as RM said, we as adults make sexuality a dirty word and that is not something we like to hear in relation to children. Sexuality is not a dirty word, it is simply an element of what and who we are.

Hmm interesting. I don't believe young children comforting themselves is 'm@sturbation' but comfort. I'm still not certain that children are s3xual beings, nor do I believe they are spiritual. They are just too young to understand until they get a bit older. I totally, totally agree that s3xuality isn't something to do with PURELY s3x as most people believe and I do believe we are born gay or straight....

You and RM have given me some food for thought, thanks. You learn something new every day

[Benji]

Freaking OATH there are confused messages..

Absolutely.

What I mean re the gstring is that they were designed to get rid of "panty lines". What does this teach girls about themselves? That their backsides are for looking at? Panty lines are a bad thing?

It's 100% different to the human body in its natural state. And we are sending kids confused messages by teaching little tots that they can't be without clothes in public. No wonder there's so many messed up adults, this stuff is instilled into us from such a young age.

[WorkingClassMum]

What sort of things go on on your facebook??

My facebook is full of friends and family sharing funny stories and pictures of their kids/holidays.

I have seen pages hacked and disgusting materials posted and all sorts of bullying etc.

My own mother accidentally clicked on a link that sent viral messages to many of her friends.

My niece's page was hacked and her status became 'I like to lick pu33y' which nearly went viral, but that I saw it in time and deleted it - her friend wasn't so lucky and the entire school saw her status about having a finger licking good time (and it didn't mean chickens). Young girls have been bullied to suicide and groomed for p.dophiles.

And this is not just on my FB - so maybe do a little research before you decided that FB is benign

[Whippet]

It is sexual, or seen as sexual.. Just ask the law.. Just ask the law, or Kinder or daycare or anyplace where they are TOTALLY uncomfortable and will not allow it at all.. They also wont allow her to run naked... THOSE things scream SEXUAL!!!! more than the media IMO.. My body is BAD! I can't touch it or show it EVER!!!!!!!

I can't be worried about a Gstring or Bra that my child will Never even wear when she is ALREADY not allowed to be naked or do cartwheels without shorts or swim without a T-Shirt.. at 3..

Freaking OATH there are confused messages..

Yup, it's so bloody unfair. And made even more unfair that it's mostly girls and women that have this body image pushed on them from day dot. A young boy is allowed to swim without a t-shirt but a girl can't - how's that for ridiculous!

I totally get what you're saying and being a huge advocate for womens rights, I so wish we lived in a world where anyone at any stage of their lives could be free to express themselves in any way they wish.

I guess the thing that gets to me though is how many girls or women would choose to wear a lot of the clothing they choose to wear if it wasn't an expectation. We pad out our t!ts, we tuck in our guts, we paste our faces with make-up and wear four inch heels ... and who do we do it all of that for? I don't think a girl would choose to wear her kiddie version of these items if it wasn't something she thought she had to. Brittany tells her she has to - heck, even the dinner time news-reader tells he she should.

However, the innocence of swimming topless at age three is something that should not be taken away from anyone.