Anyone else feel ripped off (not being proposed to)?

[Miss Moppet]

Angelski, are we the same person? I could have written your first post almost word for word My partner and I met in December '04, started going out on the 4th of March '05, so we're 6.5 years too. We were pretty close for a month or so beforehand, but neither of us knew where we stood or made a move...then we both made the same move at the same time!

All of our friends have been engaged and married and have gone on to have one or two children in that time - we're the only ones that haven't. We do have our own house, two dogs and a cat though, so I have no qualms about us and I don't think that he hasn't proposed because he doesn't love me, but because he sees what he have and thinks 'Why change what is already working?'. We also have discussed it in relative detail (I haven't pushed it) - we know where it's going to be, what time of year, who groomsmen and bridesmaids are likely to be, where and what the reception will be...all of the ins and outs!

I know that he sees marriage as just a piece of paper, whereas I see it as an affirmation of our love and commitment, and a chance to celebrate it with our closest friends and family. Quietly I think he's terrified of us ending up like his parents - trapped in a marriage where they're both extremely unhappy and at each other's throats all the time - and that's why he hasn't made a move.

I have to admit, I'm not the best at taking life by the horns and knowing what I want to do and when to do it, but I am absolutely certain that I want to spend the rest of my life with this wonderful, wonderful guy. I've been contemplating proposing to him for a few months now - if the perfect moment comes - but at the same time I don't want to pressure him...that being said, how is a guy proposing to a girl any different? Proposing is also 'The Big Thing" that a guy does in life, isn't it? I don't want to take that away from him either...argh, it's all just too hard!

I suppose I'm not feeling ripped off as such, just frustrated and angsty

[Angelski]

So it took 3 years from when we first started "seeing eachother", but nearly 8 years from when we first met. I knew what I wanted, but it took him a while to get his act together. But not too bad I guess.

Such a whirlwind of a story.. you should try and pen that one down.. you might be able to make a romantic drama and make some extra $$$ Not too bad? I think you did good!!!!

are we the same person? I could have written your first post almost word for word
All of our friends have been engaged and married and have gone on to have one or two children in that time - we're the only ones that haven't. We do have our own house, two dogs and a cat though, so I have no qualms about us and I don't think that he hasn't proposed because he doesn't love me,we know where it's going to be, what time of year, who groomsmen and bridesmaids are likely to be, where and what the reception will be...all of the ins and outs!
I know that he sees marriage as just a piece of paper, whereas I see it as an affirmation of our love and commitment, and a chance to celebrate it with our closest friends and family.
I've been contemplating proposing to him for a few months now - if the perfect moment comes - but at the same time I don't want to pressure him...that being said, how is a guy proposing to a girl any different? Proposing is also 'The Big Thing" that a guy does in life, isn't it? I don't want to take that away from him either...argh, it's all just too hard!

I think the more i've reflected on this thread i find myself thinking - that there is no "norms" - actually there seems to be a lot of that kind of reflecting for since i joined BubHub...i actually wonder if i put all these expectations of norms on myself because it seemed that everyone else was doing it... don't get me wrong i want to have a wedding... not for the piece of paper, not for the chance to show our committement to friends and family... but just as a celebration of us... the rock is just an added bonus! lol

I agree with you with the BIG THING A GUY DOES IN LIFE.. i guess that's one of those society impossed expectations isn't it? But i think if i were to take that away from DP he'd feel ripped off.. actually i think if i were to propose he would probably say no just because he does see it as "his job"

I think some of us women overthink things.. i know i definitely do... but this is a hard one... i just have to wait out the storm!

A

[deany]

havetherelationshipyouwant.com sounds pretty good from what i just read!