In desperate need of some advice..
Well my 2yo daughter has just started attending family day care, just one time per week, I started her doing this about 10 weeks ago now, and decided to let her start attending daycare for the reason being, I have just had a baby (2 weeks old) and thought as well as being fantastic for her developmentally, it would be nice to have one day a week just myself and my new baby. I do not work, I am a stay at home mum too.
Anyway, when I first started sending her,
she would cry when I dropped her off- but I would leave her knowing "mummy will be back" and as I walked out of the gate I would always stop and listen and the cries seemed to always instantly stop within 30secs to a min of me leaving.
But I have found as the weeks go on, her cries don't seem to be getting better, in fact things are getting worse, she now cries at the very thought of going to daycare, she cries on the way there, and I find it very hard leaving her when she's crying desperately for me.. And when I stop at the Gate on the way out, the cries are taking much longer than a few mins to subside.
My daughter is NOT a clingy kid, she seems to have zero confidence issues, she's otherwise a very happy, outgoing kid. When I leave her with family (or people she knows) she never ever cries for me, shows absolutely NO separation anxiety. This is why I have my concerns ATM.
It's also now not just crying when I drop her off- she bursts into tears when I pick her up. When she sees me at the door she instantly starts crying and runs to me and clings to me for dear life sobbing. I find this behaviour - for my daughter- very out of character. But then her carer says it's 'normal' behavior?
I find that she seems to be agonizing about going to daycare all week, every day she says "no daycare today mummy?" and constantly refers to daycare in a negative manner throughout the day.
She hasn't got social issues, she goes to 2 playgroups a week, and also a crèche - where she's perfectly happy to be left. (and looks forward to it).
When I ask her about her day at daycare she also just repeats over and over that her carer tells her to "lie down, lie down".. I am sure she's referring to when she has her lunchtime nap.. But why is this so significant to her I don't understand? It disturbs me a bit not understanding what is going on.. She also tells me that the other kids and sometimes he carer are "naughty" but won't elaborate. She never talks about any funthat she's had, about any games or activities.. And this is a kid that is normally more than capable communicatively to tell me if she has had a good day.. I find it frustrating that she can't (or wont) communicate though what she is feeling or
what is happening at daycare.
I worry though, am I just being a paranoid mum and letting her cries and things 'get to me'? If it is separation anxiety then should I be persisting with daycare.. Or should I be
sensitive and maybe think about pulling her out and starting her again in 6months? Or just look at somewhere else?
Or, there could be just the matter that she's not happy where she is..
Just don't know what to do..
I fear that she is not having a good time at daycare, that she is being forced to attend and she is not happy- that maybe she is bored or not stimulated enough. That maybe she isn't getting along with the kids or the carer? That maybe she is being punished or something else is going on that is making her upset.. Her carer says everything is perfectly fine and She's doing well and is happy etc etc- but I know my kid and I know she most certainly isn't happy..
Any advice would be helpful.. Thank you