User Tag List

View Poll Results: Grandparents- paternal vs maternal

Voters
67. You may not vote on this poll
  • My children spend more time with their MATERNAL grandparents

    41 61.19%
  • My children spend more time with their PATERNAL grandparents

    13 19.40%
  • My children spend equal time with all grandparents

    6 8.96%
  • other

    7 10.45%
+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 5 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 49
  1. #1
    [Mod] Nomsie's Avatar
    [Mod] Nomsie is offline Administrator
    Winner 2009/10/11/12/13 - Most helpful Moderator
    Winner 2011 - Naughtiest/Cheekiest Mod
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Vic
    Posts
    19,738
    Thanks
    3,659
    Thanked
    3,777
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:
    Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts

    Default Grandparents- Paternal Vs Maternal

    Was just thinking about this today.

    Are your children more involved with their maternal grandparents or their paternal?

    (maternal- mothers side, paternal- fathers side)

    Reason: I'm still struggling with the fact it's most likely I'll never have a daughter. Therefore I will never be a maternal grandmother. This- to me- is very upsetting, as it has ALWAYS been my experience that the maternal grandparents are far more invlolved with their grandchildren than paternal.

    Eg DP's parents. - Don't come and visit us regularly despite only living 45 min drive away. We are always making the effort to visit them. Even then they still go about their own business, and we usually end up entertaining the boys all day.
    - watch their maternal grandchildren ALL the time- and spend LOTS of time with them. (DP's two sisters both have two children each) They babysit them, buy them toys and gifts and offer parenting advice. Things that they don't do for their son's children.
    - I don't believe they love their daughters more than their son, but I do believe that a mother will always be more involved with her daughters children than with her sons- if that makes sense?

    And anyway.. I grieve the fact that I will be the paternal, not the maternal.

    /ramble.
    The 5 year old "grown up" twins & the inquisitive infant

    I used to want it all. Now I just want to pee alone.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    In a house.......
    Posts
    7,804
    Thanks
    423
    Thanked
    741
    Reviews
    0
    Mine spend more time with their paternal grandparents (grandparenT now) but they are equally close to both nanna's. The only reason they spend more time with my MIL is because my mum lives so far away.

    Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression Dr Haim Ginott.



  3. #3
    DaughteroftheForest's Avatar
    DaughteroftheForest is offline Sometimes you have to forget what you want in order to remember what you deserve
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    2,049
    Thanks
    784
    Thanked
    492
    Reviews
    0
    My kids have a LOT of grand parents.

    There's my parents: Grandad, Gran + my Stepdad

    DF's parents: Nanna, Poppa + Stepmum

    FOB's parents: GG, Opa and Omi

    Out of all of them they see DF's Mum and my Dad the most. DS see's FOB's Mum 4 days a week when he's on access too. They see my Mum + Stepdad every few weeks and same with DF's Dad + Stepmum. DS rarely see's FOB's Dad + Stepmum as they are traveling around Oz atm.

    So I guess they see equal amounts of paternal/maternal Grandparents.
    "I could only find single cans of Mother in the servo and was heaps annoyed cos it was going to cost me a fortune. But then I saw the four packs were on special up the front and was like 'Ha, screw you single mothers!' - Oh, wait..."

    Funniest.
    Story.
    Ever.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    my house
    Posts
    15,338
    Thanks
    1,198
    Thanked
    5,393
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:
    Topaz Star - 500 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    My parents are much more involved in my children's lives. However, my in laws live in Ireland, so it's a bit hard for them to be involved. My parents live over an hour away, so only see my children once or twice a month. If my in laws lived closer, I imagine they would be the ones who spent more time with the grandchildren as they are more capable and younger than my parents. My mum is in a wheelchair now a lot of the time, so can't really do much. My daughter does love sitting on nanna's lap when she is being pushed in the wheelchair or having a ride on my mum's walking frame.

    Actually, my children spend a lot more time with "grandparents" who are not blood related

    ETA - as a child, I spent more time with my dad's mum and was a lot closer to her than my mum's dad. My dad is an only child, though and my mum's mum died when she was 17.
    Last edited by BigRedV; 12-06-2011 at 22:05.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    9,150
    Thanks
    12,066
    Thanked
    6,736
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:
    Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Nomsie - I realised this the other day myself. I will always be the mother in law - how depressing!

    My kids only spend time with my mother. Due to the fact that DHs mother lives in Canada. But she talks to them on the phone every week. We have a good relationship with her and our eldest loves her to bits and he has only met her once and he is 5! Hopefully my kids will partner up with people I get along well with!
    Twin A of the terror twins!
    me DH
    DS1 - 7 DS2 & DS3 4 twin blessing DS4 3

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Newcastle
    Posts
    233
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    15
    Reviews
    0
    My son spends a lot more time with dp's parents then mine as my parents are never home and dp's parents are.

    Actually that's where ds is right now he is having a sleep over there for a couple of days while we sort out his room (he is getting a big boy bed).
    Me:25 diagnosed with depression NOV 10 but starting to see things clearer

    DP:28 The man who stole my heart

    DS:3 The greatest gift

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    1,740
    Thanks
    56
    Thanked
    372
    Reviews
    0
    We see my mother a LOT, least twice a week, but that's because she lives 5min down the road and I'm an only child (mum and I are very close). She see's my father when we go visit him about once every month or two, my dad and stepmum are besotted but live 3 hours away.

    We see FIL at least once a week, he stops by to say hi, takes DD to the park, sometimes take her up to visit his parents (DD's great grand parents who she adores), DD and FIL are quite close.

    MIL is crazy so we don't see her.

    I think distance makes a difference, but the biggest difference for our DD is how much the grand parents want to be involved and how much they respect our parenting choices. FIL, Mum and Dad are all really involved grandparents, we trust them to take DD without us because we have a relationship built on respect, they know we don't give DD sugar and she is intolerant to preservatives and additives so wouldn't dream of feeding her certain things. They respect that we don't used physical punishment or isolation to deal with behavioral issues and will react appropriately when needed. They will call me if she is upset and not dismiss her emotions as needing to "toughen up", they respect her too.

    I don't think at the end of the day its the maternal or paternal grandparents who have a stronger bond or more to do with the grand kids. It is all to do with their attitude and how much they can put aside their own ego and respect the parents decisions (even if they disagree).
    T walking with C, gently guiding our little S and nurturing our water born moon baby C.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    20,914
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked
    1,422
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:
    Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    no contact with the paternal grandparents so its only my parents who we will see a few times a year being christmas the time we spend the most with them(a couple of weeks)
    i cross all bridges with joy and ease.
    the "old" unfolds into wonderful new experiences.
    my life gets better all the time

  9. #9
    FearlessLeader's Avatar
    FearlessLeader is offline Winner 2013 - Most Memorable Thread
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    9,963
    Thanks
    2,030
    Thanked
    7,544
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:
    Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    OP i am very conscious of the fact that my MIL has only my DP, so any grandchildren she has, are ours. She and DS are very close, it's lovely. she minds him once a week and we generally see her on the w/e as well. My mum takes him on outings and visits a few times a week but is not as involved as she still works full time. She is retiring next year so i'm sure that will change. But i am very close with MIL, and i hope if i only have boys i am close with my grandchildren too!

  10. #10
    SpecialPatrolGroup's Avatar
    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline harvs gave me this shiny trophy :) Katiesmum let me keep it.
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    In the messy house, Brisbane
    Posts
    8,052
    Thanks
    1,777
    Thanked
    4,284
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:
    Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I said 'other' because my DD only has her paternal grandmother.

    Speaking for my childhood though, even though we lived closer to my maternal grandmother(Nanny) (p. grandmother was 400k's away) I always felt very close to my p.grandmother and many of my best childhood memories (and food associations ) revolve around my Grandma.
    Me - 36 He - 36 - Freya arrived 10/11/09 - MC 3/7/11
    - Placeholder for a pregnancy ticker (hopefully soon) -
    "That's what you do in a herd" - Manny, Ice Age


 

Similar Threads

  1. 3 1/2 yr maternal health check (Vic)
    By 2girls1boyplus1 in forum General Child Health Issues
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 24-04-2012, 07:35
  2. How to tell my Grandparents they are about to become Great Grandparents?
    By SierraJ in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 01-03-2012, 09:29

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Free weekly inspiration
Sleeping and Settling Tips

directory quick search

postcode / advanced search basic search

 

who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!


forum - chatting now
 
can you help?
new stuffsee all
Bellamy
Bellamy’s Organic Ready2Go™ is the perfect way to meet 50% of the daily dairy needs for young children. Certified organic, Australian made and available in four great varieties – Chocolate, Strawberry, Vanilla and Banana and Honey!
sales & discountssee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
gotcha