Is it bad that I hate being a mum?

**UmmInayah** · 01-06-2011 18:32

I hate every single thing about it. There are some days when I can even say there has been absolutely nothing positive about it whatsoever. I don't hate or wish my children away, but I seriously was not cracked up to be a mother.

**Californication** · 01-06-2011 18:34

**Cleigh** · 01-06-2011 18:36

Oh I know that feeling all to well. I wanted this but now I have it I dont know why I ever wanted it. Im thinking of letting their dad have them full time

I dont know if I handle it for much longer.

**emzluvbub** · 01-06-2011 18:37

**UmmInayah** · 01-06-2011 18:41

Originally Posted by Cleigh

Oh I know that feeling all to well. I wanted this but now I have it I dont know why I ever wanted it. Im thinking of letting their dad have them full time

I dont know if I handle it for much longer.

Hugs

you know what I think has driven me to this point? The stress of trying to do right for them. I have given up my entire self I don't know who I am anymore. I feel like I am a mum and that is it. There is nothing kore to my life. It's my own fault, I know. How do you pick up the pieces now though? Daycare is so taboo, I want a career, I want to go out whenever I want, sleep in, not worry about meals etc.. It's just too hard.

**Californication** · 01-06-2011 18:45

Why is daycare taboo? If you think getting out into the workforce would help the way you are feeling, you should do it. Plenty of kids go to daycare and love it!

Yes our lives are about the kids, but us Mummies deserve to be happy too.

**Cleigh** · 01-06-2011 18:45

I agree. I am just enrolling DS2 in daycare one day a week with his brother so I can have at least one day to ME!! I hate everything being so messy all the time. Im so depressed right now and Im struggling to pick myself up because but know I have to other wise I will be a bad influence on the boys and dont want to take it out on them.
Its hard not to think of yourself as a horrible person/mum because of how you are feeling either. Im beating myself up every day Im dealing with it. I love my boys but Im just struggling with the responsibility.
Hang in there!!! Try find something to make you happy.

**Seraph8** · 01-06-2011 18:46

It's okay, they grow up remember!! One of my friends really struggled being a mum of a small child but now her daughter is bigger (9) they are much closer. Hopefully you will live long and know your children more as adults so hang in there!!!

**wantmore** · 01-06-2011 18:47

Who has told you daycare is taboo?????
there is actually nothing wrong with sending your child there. my DD is at daycare so i can go to work. there is nothing wrong with it it is great. i have meant lot of people there and my DD LOVES it. why dont you get a part time job and try it out, who cares what other people say its all about you and whats best or you. even if you dont want to work why not put them in there or 1 day a week.
You need time to yourself aswell, get someone to watch them or something but really hun

**Mama2many** · 01-06-2011 18:51

Originally Posted by UmmInayah

Hugs

you know what I think has driven me to this point? The stress of trying to do right for them. I have given up my entire self I don't know who I am anymore. I feel like I am a mum and that is it. There is nothing kore to my life. It's my own fault, I know. How do you pick up the pieces now though? Daycare is so taboo, I want a career, I want to go out whenever I want, sleep in, not worry about meals etc.. It's just too hard.

Would u mind if I asked how old you are?? I only ask because I went through the same thing...

I was 21 going on 22, married with 2 kids. I hated it! I wanted the same things has you, I didn't want the stress or responsibility of it all.... And then I dead set nearly lost it all. My husband left me, he took my kids, and I thought that was what I wanted I was free I could do what I wanted whenever I wanted....and I did....for awhile. But then reality set in. It's not all its cracked up to be. The grass is definately not greener on the other side... Thankfully I had a very patient DH, and we got back together, it took about another 12 months or so before I'd settled into any sort of routine and was even remotely happy with my life... but a funny thing. When I wanted it to change it did. When I wanted to be happy and love and appreciate my kids and family, I did... you have to have to right frame of mind.... I'm not saying that where you are currently is wrong, but I personally believe it's all just part of a huge learning curve and growing phase for you....

Good Luck
xooxxoo