If you buy something for one child, do you have to buy something for the others?

[DaughteroftheForest]

I was talking with a friend today and she mentioned that she couldn't take her kids shopping because it was too expensive. If she bought something for one child (Including clothes, blankets, school supplies, etc) then she had to buy something for the others or she'd feel she was playing favourites. Her kids are quite young and are not asking her for anything to 'even things up'.

I thought this was really strange tbh. I take DS and DD shopping with me all the time and things are bought on the basis of need and behaviour. If DS needs more clothes, shoes, books, etc then he gets them. If DD needs slippers or pj's or another sippy cup then she gets them. Toys and treats are bought depending on whether DS has been behaving well (DD is only 17 months so 'good' behaviour' in public is a little far reached for her) and I always make sure it's a treat, not an expected thing because I don't want to be having to deal with meltdowns if I literally cannot afford to get an ice block and I just went in to get milk I haven't ever noticed either of my kids being jealous of the other for something non food related (DD gets very upset if DS has something nice and she doesn't and vice versa, which is fair enough). But the thought that I would have to buy DS a toy every time I went clothes shopping for DD is just a bit OTT to me.

Does anyone else feel the need to buy everything in two's, three's, etc to be fair to their kids?

[sweet_lemons]

My Mum did this for my brother and I for as long as I can remember...all through our childhood until now! She still does it.

I know it's more to do with the childhood she had as opposed to feeling she wants us to feel equally loved. She says she likes to be fair and even and does so to meet her own needs as well as ours.

For example she recently brought me a new laptop.... And she is buying my brother a new suit for my upcoming wedding.

I remember her telling us at Christmas and Birthdays she would make sure she had spent the same amount on both of us. When we were younger if one got a CD Player the other would too. We still both get PJ's for Easter. Just little things like that.

I don't think one way is right and the other wrong...more just a personal preference. I think I'll be the same for my future kidlets!

[Foxy]

Toys or treats yes but anything else like clothes etc no.

[MamaC]

If I have them both with me and they have both been really well behaved then I will buy for both of them. And I always buy them an equal amount of clothes and shoes, etc. But if I have taken one of them out for a special treat then I will only buy for whichever one is with me.

This is the way my mum always did it and even though my sisters and I are all 30+ years old, she still does it

[~Temet Nosce~]

treats yes, essential stuff no. Brought ds clothes yesterday and dd (nearly 4) was quite happy to help me choose some for him. But I brought dd a pink milk today, and it resulted in a tantrum from ds (18 mnths) so I had to go back and get him one I thought I could get away with it without him noticing.

[anewme]

I buy for who ever has a need.

[iMischa]

hmmm... i dunno. i dont do it now, but i can see as they get older that i might need to (as far as toys go, and it would depend on behaviour of the both of them) clothes and school supplies and all that, no way!

[The Girls Only Club]

If one needs school stuff or things like that only that child gets it.
If I'm just buying things for the sake of buying things they all get it.

[DaughteroftheForest]

Mmm, that's what I thought. This girl was saying that if she had to buy a blanket for one child then she would buy a toy for the other, which to me seems really inside out, as then wouldn't the child getting the blanket feel left out because the other got a toy?

[Janesmum123]

Sort of I suppose my situation is slightly different. There us a 7yr age gap between DD and DS and the other day when I was getting clothes for bubs I also go DD something. I don't want her to feel like it's all about the baby. I don't want her to be left out. But but it's within reason.