Single and Donor Sperm

**wishmeluck** · 18-05-2011 23:32

Hi everyone

I'm new to this forum and would love the opportunity to talk with single women going through IVF. I have always wanted to be a Mum, but unfortunately my past relationships haven't given me this opportunity. At 39 and with a very low AMH level (1.5) I have made the difficult decision that if I am to fulfil my dream of being a Mum that I will now need to do this on my own as I have no time left to find "the one". I'm fortunate that I have the loving support of my family and friends but would still like to chat to other women in a similar position.

All the best to you!

Wishmeluck

**dees** · 19-05-2011 06:58

Hi there I'm single and going to go through my second round of Ivf in July. I've pick my donor this week and I'm of to see the fs today and to pay for all my goodies. I'm 38 and have been unlucky also with not meeting the right man, but I'm glad to say I have my family behind me all the way.

**puffsgirl11** · 19-05-2011 09:26

Goodluck to both of you! I hope everything goes according to plan and you both get a BFP very soon!

I think you are both very strong as I don't know if I could do IVF without my DH!

**amum21** · 19-05-2011 10:10

Hi girls

Just wanted to say good on you for following your heart....I would have done the same if i had to.......I'm friends with a fabulous mummy on here that did donor and she has a gorgeous little girl now......

Good luck, I hope you are blessed with miracles in the very near future

**SugarBerry** · 19-05-2011 10:28

Wishmeluck and Dees,

Im also single and wanting very much to be a mum, have wanted to for years. I also have had no luck in my previous relationships and have decided I dont want to wait anymore, Im 36. I too have the support of my family, only my parents know at this stage though, but they are behind me 100% which is so lovely.

I went through my first ICSI cycle in April, which I was vey lucky and achieved a BFP, unfortunately my HCG levels have dropped in the past week and Im waiting to miscarry, Im devistated. I am 5 weeks pregnant.

Im hoping to do a FET in late June with my one little frostie, meeting with my FS again next Wednesday.

Its encouring to have seen some other lovely single women on this site who now have gorgeous little bubs, I hope that will be us one day soon. Thanks to the lovely puffsgirl11 and amum21 for their encouragement.

Hopefully we can go through this journey together

.

Sugar.

**EternalOptimist** · 19-05-2011 11:27

Wishmeluck: Just wanted to wish you all the best for your upcoming cycle, if i hadn't of found my DH i too would of made the same decision to go it alone. Please make sure you have positive supportive friends and family around you because it can be a pretty tough journey at times. But i figure what doesn't kill us can only make us stronger and i know after everything i have been through so far, i am a much stronger person and all the better for it.

Sending you lots of baby dust for you cycle

**wishmeluck** · 20-05-2011 00:56

Thank you so much puffsgirl11, amum21 and EternalOptimist. Your support means so much. It will be a difficult journey but hopefully with some wonderful rewards at the end for all of us. I haven't spoken too widely about my decision yet as one of the first people I told had quite strong views about it (and they weren't very supportive!) So for now, my immediate family and a few close friends. That way, I also don't have to carry the hopes of everyone else too! My FS says my chances are very very slim - but I like to think that that means not zero!

I'm taking DHEA and my multivitamins so am now just waiting patiently for my donor to become available. I was told the wait may be 6 months. Well, one month down and I call them in 4 weeks time to see how far up the list I've moved. In the meantime, I'm hoping the DHEA is kicking in!

SugarBerry - I'm so very sorry to hear what you're going through. I can only imagine your excitement and the hope you've been carrying only to find out that it isn't going to work this time around. I'll be thinking of you as the days pass and will be keeping all of my extremities crossed for you for June.

Dees - how exciting for you. How did you go with choosing the donor? Were you happy with your selection? Just wondering as I'm not sure what to expect.

Wishmeluck

**SugarBerry** · 20-05-2011 12:13

Hi Wishmeluck,

Its great that you have some supportive family and friends around you, unfortunately you will always have some people that may be against your decision, but Im sure there will be more for than against

.

Any chance is still a chance, you never know!

Im sure many people have been told that the chances are quite slim and they are parents or parents to be now, I was told the same thing, so fingers crossed

.

All the best with finding a donor, I hope the wait is less than 6 months for you. Its a strange experience choosing one, I found it exciting and scary! I was lucky enough that my clinic has several clinic recruited donors on file, I didnt have to wait, and I selected from one of those, I had only 6 profiles to choose from, but I found one that I was very happy with. I would have liked to select an overseas one, but Im from Victoria and its now against the law to import human tissue.
What sort of donor are you choosing, clinic recruited?

Thanks for your well wishes. Im feeling 'different' today, I think it may happen today. Its really awful wanting something so horrible to happen

, but its what has to happen so I can move forward.

All the best for your journey.

**wishmeluck** · 20-05-2011 14:37

Hi Sugarberry

So glad you're happy with your donor. I am going through Concept Fertility in Perth and their clinic donor list and I imagine the wait is partly because we have less Clinics than you do in Melbourne. Also, since the Act was changed and children resulting from donors can now find out who their father is when they turn 16/18, fewer men are now donating. I was told though that it may not be 6 months and slightly shorter because I am on ICSI. Apparently they have what they refer to as "ICSI quality sperm" which is basically sperm from men with a lower sperm count (still in the normal range). It makes sense that if they reserve the sperm with high counts for other types of IVF requiring the sperm to do all the work, there will be a higher chance of fertilisation with more swimmers in the petri dish! As for us, we only need one good one and they're doing most of the work for it. Although as each month goes by I think "there goes another egg", I know that DHEA works better after 3-4 months so am comforting myself with that.

I hope you're fairing up okay today and that you will soon be looking onwards to your new attempt hopefully in June. As you say, difficult to look forward to what needs to happen, but it will help you be one step closer to where you want to be.

I'm actually flying out to Melbourne on Wednesday night for a few days as my brother and his wife and little girl live in Ringwood. I'll be sure to try and get some shopping in when I'm there.

**dees** · 20-05-2011 17:36

Hi wishmeluck I have used an American donor clinic deals with overseas I had over 20 to pick from and they were all available now, you also get over 10 pages of info on them about there family etc. Also the only negative people I found was the only ones that were happy relationships and with children , I'm sure put them in our situation they would think differently. But mostly everyone has been great. Have you asked about overseas donors? 