uncontrolable 2vr old. help!

[2mrperfects]

omg where do i start.
how do u disipline a 2.5 vr old? if we go to the park, he either walks home, into town, or to the river. stop means run faster. bribery doesnt work anymore. cant even take him anywhere. went to a friends house, he went thru every cupboard and opened every door. how do i stop him slamming doors? he just cant stand still. hes got me wrapped around his finger. he gets away with everything cos he is so flat out and i just dont know what to do anymore. help!

[Merla]

You say he can't stand still and won't listen, is there any chance that there may be other issues at play? Have you looked at his diet? My 2 year old was having real issues listening, she was throwing huge tantrums, lots of melt downs, really full on. I put her on a modified fail safe diet and in a week she is a completely different child, cooperative and reasonable. She is still 2, but so much easier!

I have also read some great books, how to talk so your kids will listen and listen so your kids will talk is fantastic. Raising your spirited child has helped me, but sure it would help everyone, but it deals with individual traits, intensity, persistence, perception, sensitivity etc. I found it useful to help understand why DD acts the way she does.

My main thing is setting strong gentle boundaries. No means no, were leaving means were leaving. Don't make threats you don't follow through. Consequences to actions are ok, and should be carried through. Consistency is key, if he isn't allowed to go through the cupboards he is never allowed to go through the cupboards and you will need to enforce this every single time. Boundaries take a while for toddlers to get use to, they often resist, tantrum, etc, but once they have accepted that theses are the rules they usually behave accordingly and your don't have as many issues (until the next set of boundaries needs to be set hehe).

[One of THOSE mums!]

My Ds is only 18mo so not yet at that stage. But, he does like to run off and thinknits funny.
So I have taking the pram everywhere. And as soon as he runs off I put him in the stroller. After 5 mins I take him out and tell him he can only walk if he holds mummies hand. He lasts a while then goes to run off so back in the stroller.
Last time we went out he let go of my hand and when I told him he would go in the stroller he promptly took my hand again.
A similar thing might help. I found being repetitive is helping. He knows I mean business.

[2mrperfects]

ive looked at his diet. he does react to some foods, but he doesnt have them anymore. i dont get why he is so flat out. being persistent is hard. i cant always see him with a 6mth old too. but ur right. and good idea about the pram thing

[Merla]

I was amazed what my DD reacts to, the preservatives in some bread, crackers, "healthy" dips, vitamins! There are colors, preservatives and additives in SOO many things. She use to eat 80% preservative free but that wasn't enough, it wasn't until we went 100% preservative free that we noticed a HUGE change in her.

Worth looking into anyway, especially if he is reacting to things already he could be more susceptible to it than other children.

[jennibear]

Im sorry to say i think its just his age. My DD is 2 and a half and has always been a beautifully behaved child. Now all of a sudden she wont listen, wont eat dinner, wont sit still etc.

I have decided i am going to pick my battles. Eg, i WILL NOT tollerate runing off...if she does she gets disaplined but im not too worried about her sitting still.

My advice to you would be to pick what you really WONT tollerate and stick to it.

Hopefully 9for both of us) its just a phase!!

[2mrperfects]

jennibear, know exactly what u mean by "pick your battles". but how do u disipline her? my house is small, theres no where for timeout. dont want to do it in his room because bedtime is a drama already.. im not a smacker but i might have to be. he needs to know some things are unacceptable, but how do i teach that?

[jennibear]

jennibear, know exactly what u mean by "pick your battles". but how do u disipline her? my house is small, theres no where for timeout. dont want to do it in his room because bedtime is a drama already.. im not a smacker but i might have to be. he needs to know some things are unacceptable, but how do i teach that?

We do the naughty corner and sometimes smacks (i reserve this for REALLY bad stuff, eg running away from me while we're out).

Tha naughty corner works really well for us and you DONT need alot of space. I put DD in front of the door. Our naughty corner is in the lounge and theres toys everywhere but DD knows shes being disaplined.
Id say, continue with the naughty corner (time out), he'll get the idea. Just make sure you keep an eye on him (without giving him attention) so if he does go for the toys around him, you can take them off him. (the key is NOT to talk to him though). Just take the toy off him and say NOTHING (same for if he leaves the naughty corner...just place him back there without talking. The warning is VERY important too.
Most of the time (not so much now) i only have to threaten the naughty corner and DD will behave (til next time) hehe

I have nothing against the occassional smack, like i say i reserve this for REALLY bad stuff.
I find rewards are working well ATM. 'if you come and brush your teeth, mummy will read (your favourite) story. SOmething like that. DD LOVES Thomas the tank ATM moment so thats is helping. 'Please help mummy tidy up and you can watch Thomas'.
Good luck and above all, be consistant, follow through with your warnings and relax. (i know easier said than done )
Its a very trying time (trust me i've had some HORRID days lately).