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  1. #21
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    CC failed here too-
    DS1 ended throwing himself out of his cot and nearly beating us to the door every time he got put in the cot.
    He ended up sleeping in the spare room, not wanting a bar of his room.
    DS2 is a *perfect* sleeper. I'm not sure if it is because he is a completely different temperament, or we did things 'better' from the start (hindsight is a beautiful thing lol). But Im not sure DS1 would've been a 'good' sleeper even if we hadnt tried CC.
    It just took time, and when we could use reason and logic and know he understood it was better for everyone.
    IMO, children need what they need- if that is an 'unreasonable' need i.e being rocked to sleep, constant attention during the night- then it's then what the mum needs- if she can continue on then I think being made to feel bad about that decision needs to be wiped from the equation. Its her choice- sometimes it's much more distressing listening to ur child get that upset they throw up than being sleep deprived... Mind you that's not what I was thinking at 3am about 4 years ago, sitting on the kitchen floor crying lol
    Hugs to all the tired mummies!!!!!

  2. #22
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    Holding my baby now.. I think.. life can be hard enough, why would I want to hurt her myself?

    I don't understand this whole thing. So much pain.
    Last edited by Mrs Nietzsche; 27-04-2011 at 19:10. Reason: offensive (subject to misinterpretation)

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs Nietzsche View Post
    Just so disgusting.

    Holding my baby now.. I think.. life can be hard enough, why would I want to hurt her myself?

    I don't understand this whole thing. So much pain.
    When everyone around you pushes and pushes and your health nurse cites studies on sleep deprivation and baby development and tells you your pnd is caused by your child night waking, then tells you your child isnt crawling etc because they are too exhausted to learn. You fight this sensless info, go to your gp, they tell you to cc as well, family, friends everyone keeps at it.

    That is how it happens. I will regret our attempt for the rest of my life- but it does hurt when after all that having mentions of how disgusting it is that it happens send a knife through the heart

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by faroutbrusselsprout View Post
    I remember lying in the dark in my bed listening to DS1 scream and scream and scream.
    I literally could not go and comfort him as I was so angry I would have hurt him.
    I was filled with anger toward him for screaming, for not sleeping.
    I remember now that he actually couldn't hold eye contact with me, he knew that I had emotionally abandoned him.
    I was terrified of creating "habits" and this was reinforced by one particular sleep school I went too.
    We would watch him through a window - hysterical. Every ounce of my being was telling me to go in and scoop him up.
    I had NO faith in myself, I was depresssed and didn't believe that MY instincts could possibly be right.
    I had huge bonding issues with him from 6-12 months and I believe that this has affected our relationship now.
    Especially since having my next two babies and realising what he and I missed out on...
    Even now I have trouble connecting with him on an emotional level.
    Oh sweetheart. I can feel your hurt in this post.

    I can only go from my experience (so far), but I think this can be repaired somewhat, so please don't despair.

    I mean it won't be easy, but I really think it can be done.

    HUGS x a million

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  6. #25
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    CC worked for my nieces in the early days, and my sister needed routine to cope with the twins.
    it stopped working and her girls both have serious sleep issues/anxiety problems.
    at 5yo they still dont sleep well.
    she never found anything else that worked, as she beleived SHE was the failure, not a stupid book.

  7. #26
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    I have read every post so far and have a huge lump in my throat.

    Something has clicked for me just right now, reading this thread.

    A PP said she was terrified of 'creating habits' - this is ME. This is how I feel...or after tonight, how I FELT.

    My baby NEEDS me. He doesn't need or deserve to be left in his room in his cot, crying. I have never been able to bring myself to actually leave him for very long crying anyway, but It was something I was considering TRYING.

    No. Not now. CC/CIO is not for us

    I realise now, I was (and this may sound odd) expecting too much from DS. Expecting him to understnd that he needed to go to sleep by himself. Just because he was a great little sleeper up until only a couple of months ago now makes no difference to me...

    When my baby cries and needs me, I WILL be there for him.

    I feel so emotional at this very moment. I realise that after reading these posts here tonight, that if I'd gone full on with CC/CIO then I may be feeling just like those who have posted here who have immense guilt and attachment issues with their children...

    THANK YOU SO MUCH for this thread. My eyes are now wide open, and I now know that I need to stop listening to other people's 'advice' (from IRL) and just follow my natural gut instinct and give my Son what he needs, when he needs it - ME. I dont ever want my Son to feel helplessness, and especially if I'm to blame for it!!

  8. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to TheUndomesticGoddess For This Useful Post:

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  9. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by kaeja View Post
    I have read every post so far and have a huge lump in my throat.

    Something has clicked for me just right now, reading this thread.

    A PP said she was terrified of 'creating habits' - this is ME. This is how I feel...or after tonight, how I FELT.

    My baby NEEDS me. He doesn't need or deserve to be left in his room in his cot, crying. I have never been able to bring myself to actually leave him for very long crying anyway, but It was something I was considering TRYING.

    No. Not now. CC/CIO is not for us

    I realise now, I was (and this may sound odd) expecting too much from DS. Expecting him to understnd that he needed to go to sleep by himself. Just because he was a great little sleeper up until only a couple of months ago now makes no difference to me...

    When my baby cries and needs me, I WILL be there for him.

    I feel so emotional at this very moment. I realise that after reading these posts here tonight, that if I'd gone full on with CC/CIO then I may be feeling just like those who have posted here who have immense guilt and attachment issues with their children...

    THANK YOU SO MUCH for this thread. My eyes are now wide open, and I now know that I need to stop listening to other people's 'advice' (from IRL) and just follow my natural gut instinct and give my Son what he needs, when he needs it - ME. I dont ever want my Son to feel helplessness, and especially if I'm to blame for it!!


    What a huge realisation - and what a revelation for you and your baby

  10. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by kaeja View Post
    I have read every post so far and have a huge lump in my throat.

    Something has clicked for me just right now, reading this thread.

    A PP said she was terrified of 'creating habits' - this is ME. This is how I feel...or after tonight, how I FELT.

    My baby NEEDS me. He doesn't need or deserve to be left in his room in his cot, crying. I have never been able to bring myself to actually leave him for very long crying anyway, but It was something I was considering TRYING.

    No. Not now. CC/CIO is not for us

    I realise now, I was (and this may sound odd) expecting too much from DS. Expecting him to understnd that he needed to go to sleep by himself. Just because he was a great little sleeper up until only a couple of months ago now makes no difference to me...

    When my baby cries and needs me, I WILL be there for him.

    I feel so emotional at this very moment. I realise that after reading these posts here tonight, that if I'd gone full on with CC/CIO then I may be feeling just like those who have posted here who have immense guilt and attachment issues with their children...

    THANK YOU SO MUCH for this thread. My eyes are now wide open, and I now know that I need to stop listening to other people's 'advice' (from IRL) and just follow my natural gut instinct and give my Son what he needs, when he needs it - ME. I dont ever want my Son to feel helplessness, and especially if I'm to blame for it!!
    your post has made me teary. much love to you.

    i'm sorry to every one who has posted in this thread, what you and your babies have gone through

  11. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by lovebeingamum! View Post
    CC failed here too-
    DS1 ended throwing himself out of his cot and nearly beating us to the door every time he got put in the cot.
    He ended up sleeping in the spare room, not wanting a bar of his room.
    DS2 is a *perfect* sleeper. I'm not sure if it is because he is a completely different temperament, or we did things 'better' from the start (hindsight is a beautiful thing lol). But Im not sure DS1 would've been a 'good' sleeper even if we hadnt tried CC.
    It just took time, and when we could use reason and logic and know he understood it was better for everyone.
    IMO, children need what they need- if that is an 'unreasonable' need i.e being rocked to sleep, constant attention during the night- then it's then what the mum needs- if she can continue on then I think being made to feel bad about that decision needs to be wiped from the equation. Its her choice- sometimes it's much more distressing listening to ur child get that upset they throw up than being sleep deprived... Mind you that's not what I was thinking at 3am about 4 years ago, sitting on the kitchen floor crying lol
    Hugs to all the tired mummies!!!!!
    Lovebeingamum

  12. #30
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    I'll try get this out before my battery dies..

    With DD1 she was a horrible sleeper, I tried everything, co-sleeping, patting, rubbing, rocking etc and she kept changing every few days so what worked one day, didn't the next. For 8 months I struggled with it and it started affecting my relationship with DH. So we tried CC where I would increase the time she would cry etc and keep going in to soothe in-between the crying. It was so hard but it was the only other thing to try. Things did get slightly better but not the best, and she has always been very attached to me, even now at 3 she cries if I walk away from her and I blame the CC. She was generally a happy baby until bedtime but since we did the CC she has always needed me there.

    DH and I said we wouldn't do it again for consecutive babies. DD2 came along and she was a great sleeper, she would co-sleep with me and sleep the full night. Then at about 4 months old it all stopped, she wouldn't sleep at all and I was so sleep deprived and desperate. I posted on bubhub and someone emailed me some of the TH articles. I read them and out of desperation tried it. For a hour she cried the 'protest' cry and I didn't go in as TH said not to if you could handle it. Eventually I couldn't and I went in and she had tears and was all hot. For the whole day she just kept crying and crying in my arms and refused to have her bottle. I was heartbroken. I had her in my arms while eating dinner when she suddenly stopped crying and fell asleep. The next morning I woke up to find orange crystals in her nappy, indicating she was dehydrated

    Not long after I discovered that she wasn't sleeping because she hated being wrapped after getting frustrated with rocking and putting her in her cot so I could refresh, she didn't cry, just went to sleep, and I haven't had an issue since I stopped wrapping her.

    I feel so guilty about it. It tears me up inside.

    Sent from my HTC Desire using Bubhub

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    1+1=5  (27-04-2011),Gandalf  (27-04-2011),Phyllis Stein  (27-04-2011)


 

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