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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunnyflower View Post
    MMMmmm

    I think that bothering to see your wife twice in 6 months when you are only five hours away is very lazy and basically it sounds like he also does not feel the conection to you either.

    I think that if he came up and watched dvds for four days and did not initiate sex with you when he hasn't seen you since xmas is also worrying.

    It's all well and good for someone to work away for a while to get extra money for the family but when it impacts so negatively on the family you have to ask yourself is it worth it?

    I think you def need to talk about it asap either in person or write a letter stating that you hate the way things are.

    Is it possible he is seeing someone else? I hesitate to ask but it COULD be a posible explanation for his real reluctance to see you etc.

    I really hope you work it out..
    This is what I'm thinking

    You need to talk to tour DH because I'm sorry but what you have right now isn't a marriage.

    You need to do what you think is best, if you don't want to stay together (which under those circumstances neither would I) then you need to separate and move on with your life.

    But in all honesty the long distance thing isn't working. If you want your marriage to survive he needs to come home period.


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    Cazza1981  (26-04-2011)

  3. #12
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    I dont think he is cheating on me although the thought has crossed my mind a million times.

    I dont want to say where i live but its close to hervey Bay lol

    Back to the cheating thing, i just dont know he is really nice to me when he is home and wants to do everything for me he even cooked dinner which was lovely of him..He told me every chance he could that he loved me but it was a kiss on the forehead.....

    I found him fulltime work up here through one of my clients and he went to the interview on sat he got the job but told the employer he would need more hours and then said he had to talk it over with me WTF. The employer said well thats fine but dont expect the job now....O.M.G.

    I am in no financial postition at the moment to pack up and move to Brisbane we have to fix the house up and then rent it out, and i cant fix it myself just ask the wonky tiles in the bathroom lol

    Ugh thanks so much for your replies im bawling at the truth!

  4. #13
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    A agree with pp. Hunni that's not a marriage. Not when you are so unhappy. Talk it out. Seriously have a decent heart to heart and see where it leads

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    Cazza1981  (26-04-2011)

  6. #14
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    Oh, dear. This thread is really sad. I feel for you so much OP, what an awful situation to be in. I don't really have any advice, but I couldn't read and run.

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    Cazza1981  (26-04-2011)

  8. #15
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    When df and I had a massive falling out and pretty much broke up, we saw each other more than you've seen your dh and I was living four hours away during the falling out.
    I definitely suggest you do some serious soul searching and talk to him about it. That's not a marriage and it sounds so horrible for you !!!
    I'm hoping things pick up for you, it's heartbreaking to hear how you're being treated by your own dh.

  9. #16
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    Hugs!!!

    Maybe he just doesn't realize how you feel? He may be in his own bubble.

    A talk or maybe a letter explaining your feelings might help.

    I know with me sometimes I can feel a certain way but not fully express it or I expect my DH to read my mind and it's not till I spell it out does he go "ohhhh I didn't realize"

    Men can be pretty good at not picking up signs.

    The sex thing, I don't really get. Maybe he is exhausted? What job does he do?

    I can see how it can be portrayed that he might be cheating but if you don't have a gut instinct then it just might be that he doesn't realize how you feel. Maybe he is so comfortable with you he is really happy? Especially if he is still doing sweet things for you.

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    Seacretsquirrel  (28-04-2011)

  11. #17
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    I know you might not want to hear this but it definitely sounds like there is a 3rd person involved, even know he is being really nice to you when he is home that could be a sign of guilt. Have you ever read the book he's just not that into you- it goes into things like that if they use the excuse that there to busy to call its a fob off , like u said he could call on the toilet or as he gets into bed of a night, there is always time to call the one you love. Not being intimate when he was home after month's of being away would sound alarm bells to me. Sorry if all this sounds harsh. What does he do on his days off .

  12. #18
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    I just wanted to stop by with some ...

    Is there any way you can get him to come home to talk to you about how you are feeling? Is there any way you can get a few days off work to go and see him..?

    I think you both really need to sit down and speak openly and honestly about what you want from life, and where your paths are headed.

    Does he ever talk about wanting you to move up there with him? Or is this job hes doing just temporary?
    Does he ever tell you he misses you and wishes he could see you..?

    My heart breaks for you.

    Do you want this to work out? Do you think you could ever feel the same again if he suddenly wanted to work things out and change and see you more?

    I'm really sorry, and i'm here for you if you need to talk. x

  13. #19
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    Also, sorry... I noticed he was living with his family... Whats your history like with them?

    Is it possible they are talking about your relationship, saying bad things about you and convincing him to distance himself?

    I have seen it with a friend... Her husbands family didnt really like her, and he was close to his family and while she was away on work training for a few weeks, they basically tried to talk him out of his marriage!...

    Luckily she got back and talked to him about it and its all good now though.

    I hope thats not whats happening in your instance.

  14. #20
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    This sound all to familiar to me.

    This happened to me about 8 yrs ago. I was working and staying in a caravan park only 45 mins away (finish late start early). i thought he was cheating on me but everyone said no. So i caught him out, went home one night and surpirsed him and his new gf in OUR bed.

    Is there anyway you can go to brissy and not tell him and surprise him. you never know what you might find.

    Too me it sounds like he has already moved on or in the process of. Sorry to sound harsh but it seems that way.

    The no sex is a dead giveaway as they seem to think they are cheating on the new woman not their wife. When i went away from my DH for 3 nights, i jumped him when we got home so nothing after 6 months is a bit strange.

    Good luck, you need to think what you want.


 

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