I have been invited to go on insight (on SBS).
I love the show and was so excited to be asked.
They will be flying me and DD up and back and I can bring my mum to help.
The thing is, I'm afraid it's going to really upset my mum, who really is the most wonderful person.
She had a pretty horrible childhood and vowed that her children wouldn't ever experience what she did.
In doing this she created this iddyllic, problem free childhood for my brother and I.
She always seemed to 'solve' everything and I never really experienced disappointment and in turn never learnt resiliance to alot of situations.
I battled with huge self esteem issue and depression throughout my teenage years and still now at 30 years fight self esteem issues everyday and find myself unable to cope with certain situations..
I am really conscious of making sure that I don't cotton wool my kids (DS1 especially). I want him to experience the ups and downs of life and in turn - develop a solid sense of self esteem.
So...this is what the whole show is about - Self esteem, resiliance and what we are doing to our kids etc etc
I've spoken to her about it and she really does appear to be OK with me talking about it but I know deep down it may be causing her some pain.
Me going on national TV talking about how my self esteem suffered through her parenting - Ouch.
She says it's Ok as long as I don't use it as a "cop out" for the rest of my life and doesn't want to be "blamed" for the way I turned out.
I use to work in TV and the thought of being back in the studio just makes me giddy with excitment but at the same time the thought of hurting my Mum feels awful....
I've told her I won't do it if she doesn't want to but she assured me that it will be a great experience..