Shy.....thankyou so much for your advice. We will definatly try the later bath tonight & hope for a better nights sleep. This morning Z slept from 9.30am until 12.15pm (when I woke her as we have a Drs appt soon & also don't want her to get used to sleeping over 3 hours for day sleeps) Do you think I should have woken her earlier or do as I did as it was the morning sleep
Thanks girls it means alot to me feeling really raw and emotional about it all but we will be ok and we will get their I am off to TTP when cooper wakes to by a pandora charm in memory .
will post more latter
Liv, hugs honey....good idea with the charm. I take it b/t confirmed ur loss?
Digby, I was always told no longer than 3 hour day sleeps. I love the parent help line and they work in conjunction with torrens house. I'd ring and see what they suggest but I'm guessing at her age 3 hr day sleeps would be fine. Remember they sleep up to 20 hours as a newborn every day but I don't know what age that should change....I'm guessing around 3 months??
Digby/Winzy, thought this from CYH might help (if not just disregard!). Most of it you already know, but I just copied the whole health topic. Sorry it's long
Sleep - Birth to 3 months:
In the first few weeks after birth, babies sleep much of the day and night. Most wake two or three times during the night for feeds.
Babies have shorter sleep cycles than adults and wake or stir about every 40 minutes.
By three months, many babies will have settled into a pattern of longer times awake during the day, and longer sleep times (perhaps 4 – 5 hours) at night. Most will still be waking once or twice during the night for feeds.
Sleeping in the same room with parents is safest for young babies. Sharing a bed with a baby has lead to the deaths of some babies.
Secure attachments in infancy are the base for good mental health. A major need for secure attachment is for a parent to respond to infant needs and cues. It is important not to leave your baby to cry (see the topic Attachment) .
Daytime and night-time patterns
There is more information in the topic Babies - day and night patterns in the early months.
- Very young babies have little idea of day or night and most wake regularly around the clock every two or three hours needing a feed and attention.
- In the first few months it is common for babies to wake regularly at night for feeds at least two or three times. As a guide, many babies sleep 14-20 hours a day in the first weeks.
- By three months many are settled into a pattern of longer sleep times - perhaps four to five hours at night. When a baby sleeps about 5 hours straight this is considered 'sleeping through the night'.
Ideas for settling
Routines to get ready for sleep
Tired signs- sleep cues
- At this age babies are often relaxed and sleepy after a feed. Some develop a pattern of waking often and needing a feed to settle. Some babies are helped by a daytime pattern of feed and then settling after a small play, cuddle, talk and touch. Watch your baby's signals for when he is alert and wanting to play and when he is sleepy.
- Some young babies tend to be more wakeful in the evening or night rather than during the day. It helps babies learn about day and night if you settle them at night in a quiet, dark place and don't play with them or do anything that makes them more wakeful.
- Even with young babies you can start a bedtime ritual. You may sing a little song, kiss goodnight, find the dummy (if he has one) and then give a gentle kiss with some special soft words of love when you put him down.
As you get to know your baby you will start to learn when he is sleepy and needs to be put down for sleep. Long before they can talk babies have tired signs or sleep cues in their behaviour that show you what they need. Your baby will have his own special sleep cues but here are some that most babies have that will give you a start in watching for your baby’s cues.
If you miss the tired signs and don't help your baby to settle your baby may get more alert and overtired and be very hard to get to relax and sleep. Signs that the baby has got overtired included being very overactive, stare-y eyes, and being very quick to cry.
- Jerky movements
- Becoming quiet, not wanting to play
- “Grizzling” or fussing
- Rubbing their eyes
- Making a sleepy sound
- Facial grimaces i.e. pulling faces
- Clenched fists
- Waving arms and legs about
Put your baby on his back for sleep. Often a tired newborn will accept being put into his crib while awake and will fall asleep on his own. Some new babies settle best in a quiet, dark place, others settle more easily in lighter, noisier places. Some babies are harder to settle than others and many need help to relax into sleep.
Some things to try to settle your baby:
- wrap him in a thin cotton sheet (have a look at Wrapping babies.)
- rock him in a pram, crib or your arms for a short period and then settle him into bed (a baby should not be left to sleep unsupervised in a pram)
- settle him in the crib and then pat him with a cupped hand. Start patting quickly and then slow down as he calms. Pat at about the pace of your heartbeat
- push him in a pram back and forth over a bumpy surface such as the edge between your carpet and tiles or over footpath bumps
- have some constant noise such as humming, singing a little song, relaxing music or household noise - some babies relax if they can hear the vibration noise of the washing machine or dryer
- check that he is not too hot or cold, and that clothing is not too tight
- a warm bath
- offer another feed, (often called a 'top-up' feed)
- allow him to suck on a dummy or thumb (dummies should not be used until breastfeeding is established by about 6 weeks)
- use a baby sling so your baby is close and can hear your heart beat. This may help him settle and allow you to do a few household tasks.
Look after yourself
Almost all adults find interrupted sleep makes them feel tired and irritable, and relationships can suffer.
- Try to keep your own life not too hectic when the baby is young.
- Take breaks when you can.
- Catch up on sleep. Sleep or rest when your baby sleeps, day and night.
- Take the phone off the hook.
- Ask for and accept help when it is offered.
- Put a DO NOT DISTURB sign on your front door.
- Remember to get some exercise – walking is good.
- Join a group of other new parents.
Need more help?
- 24 hour Parent Helpline on 1300 364 100.
- Talk with a Child Health Nurse - call 1300 733 606 for an appointment.
- Children, Youth and Women's Health Service has a book 'Settling Your Baby – A Survival Guide for Parents'. See Books and DVDs.
Just quickly as crazy, busy with all the kids home..................
Liv - I'm so sorry hun to read of your m/c, I think the charm is a lovely idea. Huge for you and your DH.
Lisa - hope poor little C is better.
Rach - Sounds like Marli is doing great!
To everyone reading just not much time to post, hope all the sick babies and mummies are better .and babies are letting their Mummies get enough sleep.
Livvy - I had on a baggy t-shirt with P, was stark naked with J as I had a waterbirth. Sam I had on a hos gown, but was so hot, I would have loved to be naked but as the whole labour was 31mins wasn't time!
Sam's orthamology (eye) appt didn't go as expected yesterday. He is extremely long sighted and has a squint, back in 2 months, have to use stronger medicine (for 3 days) to dilate his pupils to get a better look at whats going on. Medicine has bad side effects and have to watch closely. My baby probably needs glasses. Poor baby. Anywho, we'll wait and see. Sam has started climbing things, bit scary if he can't see well! Must go and sort the never ending washing. Busy day tomorrow, sorry for the lack of personals back when I can.
Just a quick post, ducked home for 10mins then picking A up from daycare so have to type SUPER quick!!
Liv - So sorry to hear about your m/c hope you and DH are doing ok
Digby - One idea I had - what about getting DH to offer Z the formula and you leave the room? Smelling your milk might be contributing to her refusing the formula? Sorry no suggestions on the sleep front, we never really resolved the sleep issues with A until now!!!
Kiwi - awww poor S I hope the medicine works and he doesnt need glasses but I guess if they do the trick then its not such a bad thing!! Gosh S has the most beautiful eyes!!!
Lisa and LM - Hope everyone is recovering in your places
Well A has now slept 2 nights in her big-girl bed - ALL NIGHT with no wake ups!!!!!!!!!! Mummy isnt sleeping so well, I keep waking at the slightest noise thinking it might be her but nope!! She even stays in bed in the morning until we get her!! Gotta love her work!!!
Right off to pick her up from daycare, hope everyone is well
kiwi - aww i bet little sam will look gorgeous in a pair of specs. Poor little thing though, might find himself being a bit clumsy if he's climbing things hehe. Sounds like lots of different people have had diff experiences with nude/not nude during birth. I guess it's whatever you feel comfortable with! I think for me it'll be wearing a top of some description just to feign a little bit of modesty
Shy1 - thanks for posting that info about babies sleeping patterns etc, even though I'm still quite far away from having my bubbas it's still a really good and eye opening read. So much I still don't know! In regards to the nude/not nude birthing, I'm like you.. quite modest... so I think I'll have to find some way of protecting that modesty, I just don't want to be flashing my goods to all and sundry, no matter how much pain I'm in
Liv - so so sorry to hear about your m/c, that's just too tragic. I think the pandora bead is a lovely way of honouring your lost little one though.
Digby - wish I could offer some advice, but I'm too clueless lol I have no idea about these things yet!! I'm sure the other ladies will be full of ideas though I think I'll be like you in the birthing process, modest til the end. Lol. I can imagine myself putting my knickers back on after internals etc too haha.
Winzy - like you, I'll probably end up buying a birthing "outfit" and then end up doing something completely different and being totally unprepared. lol. Everyone seems to say you just don't care at the time, but I still feel like the modesty in me will prevail and I will care a little bit. This is a bit of a dumb question so forgive me, but when they give you your baby and you're skin to skin does bubs start breast feeding straight away? how do you know how to do it lol i wouldn't have a clue how to breast feed!!
LadySchnitzel - Yeah, I do get monitored more than women who are having singletons. I have OB appointments every 2 weeks rather than every month to start off with which is obviously double what you would get in a normal pregnancy. Can't say I mind though, it keeps my mind at ease Well.. SORT of. Lol i have to admit still though that by the end of the two weeks I'm VERY ready to get back to the OB and check on the bubbas. It's ridiculous lol I'm only currently 8 days post NT scan and I'm desperate for another scan to check on them. I'm such a worry wart, seriously! Nice to see you on facebook too by the way!
moongazer - oh I wonder if I'll have a gown too then, I think it's likely I'll have an epidural given that i'm having twinnies, because theres always that chance of an emergency c-sect. Oh well a gown would be better than being totally starkers in my eyes lol
waitinghoping - the FB announcement felt like such a big step. lol. It was like sharing our little secret with the world, very bizarre. it was lovely to get everyones congratulations though I think the good NT results just gave me the courage to actually tell people this might be happening lol. I imagine the midwives do see a lot of your boobs when you're learning the whole b/fing thing though, so it probably does desensitize you to a certain degree. I still can't imagine being totally starkers. I spupose theres a good chance I'll be in a gown anyway.
LM - lots of people have said that I won't care and itll be the last thing on my mind flashing my bits everywhere when I'm giving birth. I just can't imagine not caring LOL. I suppose I'll figure it out at the time huh?
Rach - awesome news about your little princess coming out of the humidicrib and you're b/feeding. That must be such a fantastic transition
AFM - bit of a rant to come - apologies in advance. Have been feeling a bit stressed this week, very frustrated by work. In the last two weeks I've had quite a few big tasks heaped upon me by my boss (tasks that haven't been shared fairly amongst our team but that have gone to me only) and in fact it seems like it's happened since I told her I'm pregnant to be honest. I'm probably being paranoid and it's a coincidence but it's just funny that I told her at 11 and a bit weeks and I'm now 13 and a bit weeks and I can pinpoint that it's been for the past 2 weeks exactly that this has been happening. She says she doesn't want to "divvy up" the work but rather have one person working on the whole lot, which doesn't sound a whole lot like acting like a team to me. She's going on hols in a couple of weeks and is giving me a whole lot of her tasks on top of that while she's away (and she's in a vastly higher position than me with much more responsibility) and this makes me very nervous and feel a bit sick. I had a bit of a spit about it yesterday because it seemed unfair that she's giving it all to me and not sharing it evenly, and she insists it's because I'm full time and our other team member is part time. Which in itself still seems unfair to me as we're still a team regardless of working hours, and tasks should still be split fairly. She said she didn't want to give the part time worker the "sh1t" jobs, but clearly doesn't mind giving them to me!! So my reaction when she told me all that she was giving me when she's on holidays probably wasn't the most work appropriate (but wasn't like a huge dummy spit or anything) but it was just the shock of the flippant way she said it, and she ended up telling me off about it, but I did stand my ground and say I didn't think it was fair that things weren't being shared evenly and that it was all being lumped on me. It didn't change though, she's still planning on leaving it all to me, and kept getting hung up on the fact that she "should be able to go on holidays". I kept saying, it's not about you going on holidays, you can go on holidays, it's about sharing the jobs evenly rather than giving it all to one person which doesn't seem fair.
But anyway, I guess i have to just suck it up and take it but it's really exhausting me and making me mentally tired being worried and stressed about it. She certainly doesn't seem to be interested in making any concessions for me based on the fact that I'm pregnant with twins. Not that I expect special treatment but a little understanding would be nice.
Anywaaay, that's my rant for the day, sorry for spewing that out there. Other than that, things are okay. See my OBGYN on Friday so hopefully will have a scan and check on my little bubbies and that will cheer me up if all is going well with them I always worry in between times!!
Damn - that will teach me for posting how well the sleeping is going ha! Since I wrote that there has been a wake up somewhere between 3am and 5am every morning since!! Fortunately it is only once and he has a bottle and back to sleep. Overall though I really shouldn't complain but when the little cheribs sleep through then don't it's hard to adjust back again . Of course I calculate "sleeping though" as 10+ hours not the stupid 5 hours as "they" say!!! Yes, I know - payback and STOP COMPLAINING I hear many of you say - But seriously, I am aware how good I do have it even with the early morning bottle!
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