I know ive done this thread before but i really need more advice please.
I had ante-natal today.
I was seen by the midwife within 15min (really quick for once)
I told her about my period pain, my dancing lights, my puffiness and my headaches, she took my BP which was higher than normal. She suggested i get a ctg done just to be safe,she also checked my protein levels, which was a bit higher than normal but within range.
So she gets me to wait to see the Dr before sending me to the maternity ward.
I see the Dr he asks me about my symptoms ect then asks about whether i had these probs with DS and looks through my file to see.
Then he sees my labour record for DS. Thats where it gets sh*t. He asks me about my labour ect (BP and headache probs forgotten, i didnt get a ctg either btw) i sit there for 30min trying to defend my choice for a VB while being told all research points to the fact that if i VB again ill have a colostomy bag by the time im 50. I tried to explain that i am doing everything different this time, he tells me that nothing i do will prevent damage being done, unless i have a csec. The whole, no drugs, perenium massage, active labour, gravity, nothing. The baby coming out my vagina and not my stomach is what will cause the damage. Especially as im likely to have a larger baby and ive only got scar tissue down there which doesnt stretch, therefore im more likely to tear again
So now i have no idea what to do. I still want a VB, i really really really dont want a csec. I wont cope. Ill be by myself after the csec, to look after DS and a new baby,tocook,clean, drive for 6wks, ect ect. DP cant afford to take more than a week off work. I wont cope, i wont be able to do anything. I asked for a growth scan to predict size before imade my decision, he tells me sure but they are inaccurate, you may be told you are having a small baby but have a big one anyway, which i know but he shot me down again, he wouldnt let me find anything positive about the situation. Thats now 2drs (one is bias as he is there for DS, and the other thinks the first dr is a god) who told me i need a csec and three middies who told me i dont. What do i do?
Anyway he finally let it go after i was too upset to talk, instead he printed me out info, which basically backed up everything I have researched, i had no probs with my tears after DS, no incontinence or anything it healed within a few wks, ive had no probs since. The research says im fine to VB again. But who wants to be told theyll need a poo bag for the rest of their life? Its a risk, it may be a small one, but really is it a risk i should avoid? A csec is way more dangerous but im expected to choose that option? Ive gotten two opinions, should i try find another? and another? until i find one who agrees with me or should i just choose the csec to make everyone else happy.
So anyway he let that go and checked me out, my Fundal height is 38wks, at 34wks. I now weigh 85kg, 10kg gain. I had to get a blood test and do a 24hr urine collection to check my kidney function. And i have to go see him next week.
WWYD? I know nobody can really tell me what to do but im at a loss, on one hand i know its just scare tactics, but on the other i dont want to risk a bag later in life.