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  1. #11
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    Wow trish I'm sorry you had to go through that at the hospital we can really be our own worst enemy some times ... But sometimes when we feel better it's other people who drag us down because of our past.

    thanks for your responses... I think maybe I'm just sometimes not ready to grow up... But on the other end of the spectrum.. There's nothing I want more then to marry DP and have his babies. We are TTC and maybe the failure of that is piling on top of everything else.

    Hmm

  2. #12
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    You have to focus your energy elsewhere and remember that those memories you think were great probably were not that at all.

    Whenever I got an urge I think back to the time I was almost raped due to the fact I had gone way overboard with it one night. Luckily someone stopped it happening. What a sight I must have been, covered in vomit with knickers down and someone still saved me. I rarely speak about it but just know that if you focus on other things you will forget it all.

    I have a great career and kids now and while I sometimes wonder about that life I know I could never return to it.

  3. #13
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    ...
    Last edited by jake's mum; 12-12-2011 at 12:48.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Atlantic Puffin View Post
    Thanks everyone...

    I mean I know I'm better off .. But there is always that little thing in the back of my mind saying "you gave it up too soon.. You weren't ready to be clean"...

    For me it was DP and it was either him or the addiction. So i felt forced into quitting. Now all my friends have moved away from my area and onto bigger and better things (navy, over seas, Melbourne etc) and I'm still stuck here in this *hitty town with no friends and a bored imagination stuck in the past thinking about how fun it was.

    I do forget the bad times though. Your right. Vomiting all over myself and passing out in a nightclub bathroom to have a close male friend barge in, take my dirty dress off and carry me out in my underwear. More embarrassing then anything and I won't ever go back to that. But the fun times.... Just wish I could think of some good times drug free. Or wish I could forget.

    It's hard to talk about it. Because the few bad times were really really bad. But..... Hmmm

    Just another day I guess I have to get used to this feeling
    I like a pp said will slip back into not eating really easily and can go days without it registering DP helps with that though..

    As for addiction I've never had an addiction but DP used to take a fair few things and doesn't seem to struggle or miss it too much he says I am enough and he doesn't need the drugs now BUT and I think this is a very important but- he **CHOSE** to quit himself, I didn't push him or even ask it of him he got off that plane with it leaving his system and has been great ever since. He does still smoke but has set his quit date himself and I am happy with that. His mum wants me to make him quit but I believe it really needs to come from yourself for it to stick properly I hope it gets easier though AP xx

  5. #15
    AndrewTheEmu is offline Bubhub Ambassador - tongue in cheek
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    I dont have the answer but Im hoping it does and just thought i would let you know you are not alone

    Ive had 2 stints with 2 different substances. The first 'stint' lasted 3 years, then i had 6 months 'off' before i fell in love with something else. I only quit when I discovered i was pregnant with DD (26 months ago) and while i have no interest in the first substance, i still think/dream about the 2nd one.

    Heres a running comentry in my head.
    'surely just once wouldnt hurt' I know dam well it will because i tried to quit so many times and every 'just once' turned into another few months of abuse.

    'it was so much fun/i wish i could go back there'.. ah. no i dont. I hated being a slave to my addiction, at the time I always felt so guilty because I wanted to quit and couldnt. It was a constant embarressment. And while I found it 'fun', no one else in my life did and everything so decayed because of it.

    'it was such a good life'.. how could i possibly know that when i was out of it all the time anyway. I never had any money. and had to hide away so no one knew how bad it really was. That doesnt sound like a good life to sober me.

    Im guessing it goes away sometime between 2 yrs 2 months and 5 years 8 months (due to being over the first substance but not the 2nd )

    If you ever want to chat/vent you can pm me. I, like you, am usually distracted by my daily life but there are times i think (or like last night, dream) about using again x

  6. #16
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    I don't think so

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Refresh View Post
    I don't think so

    I think it does, eventually... took about 18 months for intense cravings to go for me, and another couple of years to not wish I had some at certain times.
    Actually I still do that sometimes - but if it magically appeared now I wouldn't take it. I'd certainly be tempted though.
    I can go into details if you'd like, I'm just being vague because everyone else is.

  8. #18
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    Thanks for the hugs x

  9. #19
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    Would love to go into more detail but I'll wait and see if we get that new section


 

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