Want to gove some hope to those out there with antenatal depression

**CookingMonster** · 23-03-2011 13:12

Having recently been through a severe episode of antenatal depression and anxiety and well on the road to recovery, I thought I would give some hope to those out there that were unwell like I was recently.
A bit about me - I have had some depression and anxiety in the past but on and off and nothing I couldn't manage. However when I was pregnant, it started to get increasingly worse. I noticed my anxiety increase from 12 weeks onwards but at about 7 months it started to get really bad. I started to fear all sorts of things - such as am I going to harm my baby by catching germs, scared of touching things and worrying about how I would manage being a mum when my baby was born. I noticed that at about 6 weeks prior to birth, I started to become depressed and my anxiety escalated again. Luckily I had a sympathetic ob who referred me to a specialist straight away after I told her how I felt. However it took 3 weeks to see him and in this time I got worse. There were times that I really didn't think I could get out of bed and was scared that I would be contaminated by my house and that I would somehow contaminate others by touching them. As such I became very socially isolated during the last few weeks of my pregnancy. I had been on Sertraline 50mg during my pregnancy but this got increased to 100mg, then 150mg and then finally 200mg at the end of pregnancy. Don't let anyone tell you that you need to reduce your dose towards the end of your pregnancy as your needs are greater towards the end as your hormones are going crazy at that time. I was sooooo keen for my labour to start because I was really struggling to do my daily activites such as make food for myself and get out of bed.
My specialist advised me that I would be better after the birth but I was very reluctant to believe him as I was feeling so sick and was sure that I would have post natal depression. But guess what... he was right. It was amazing I could feel my depression lifting the during the hours I was in labour as if the hormones were stabilising. I felt amazing after the birth - so much better. Don't get me wrong, I was still worried about stuff but all of a sudden I had a baby to look after and I actually seemed to know what to do. I am very grateful for maternal instinct!
After birth I was started on Mirtazapine as this can't be taken when you are pregnant and this made me feel even better - side effects are hard to take at times but it is worth it for the difference it makes to my anxiety.
Today I feel so differrent - I still have my moments of anxiety but the depression has lifted and I am so happy with my baby and able to look after her - I was so worried that I wouldn't cope but I have had no major dramas at all. All I do now is take it easy - try not to push myself too much and keep taking my medications (by the way I am breastfeeding too).
I hope that my story can give someone out there some hope becuase when I was sick I looked all over the internet for positive stories and there are almost none! I guess when people get better they stop writing in these kinds of forums but I really wanted something good to some out of my experience.

**canuckmummy** · 23-03-2011 14:10

Thanks. I needed to hear this today.

**CookingMonster** · 23-03-2011 16:15

Glad I could help. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

**LoCo** · 04-04-2011 15:46

Originally Posted by happy2bmum

Glad I could help. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Thank you thank you for your positive story. I have a little antenatal anxiety but feel it's getting worse which will turn to depression? Am I right? I have appt wed with a specialist who deals with pre and post. I am hoping to work on it now before bub arrives. I hope I am ok after bub arrives

I think negative people around me contribute to this for me

**MamaC** · 04-04-2011 15:57

Thank you for sharing your story

It's hard to find recognition for Antenatal depression, let alone positive recovery stories - so thank you

May your road to continued recovery and wellness be a smooth one

**CookingMonster** · 04-04-2011 22:04

Thanks. I'm glad some good could come out of my experience. I don't think that you necessarily get depressed but the chance is about 80% according to my doctor. I agree that the best thing is to try to get it under control before it gets too late in the pregnancy. I think I ignored it for too long.
I am feeling better these days. I still have some tough days but they are nothing compared to 2 months ago.
I am being more open about it now - I was too scared to tell people when I was sick ... Not exactly sure why ...
I hope u feel better soon too . Please be reassured that it will be easier when the baby is born - much easier to deal with everything once you have your body back to yourself with the hormones settled.

**BeccyXD** · 09-05-2011 19:12

this is a good story to read, i am having some bad anxiety and am at 19 weeks at the moment. I am not sleeping well and feeling depressed most of the days which is rough cause i have a four year old.

Thanks for posting this, it's great to know someone has made it out the other end

**Sara87** · 16-06-2011 18:29

Thank you for sharing your story. Nice to hear someone open up on such a sacred topic.

My husband and I started trying for a baby in Feb and found out 2 weeks ago we were expecting, Just this last week I have felt depressed and overwhelmed. Morning sickness has kicked in and I'm wondering what was I thinking! This baby is very much wanted. I just don't understand why I'm feeling the way I feel.

**megs legs** · 16-06-2011 18:57

Thank you for your story.
I'm 18 weeks pregnant now, and have just been put on zofran. My psychiatrist ( long relationship with depression here) was very worried when I saw him the other day and wants me on 100mg straight away, and will consider a higher dose in 4 weeks.
I had postnatal with my son but was given the all clear from that 5-6 months ago.
It's nice to know your not alone.. People tend to look down on pregnant women on antidepressants.. My OB didn't sound too happy when I told him.

but it's for the best.

**twofornow** · 05-07-2011 14:16

Originally Posted by Sara87

Thank you for sharing your story. Nice to hear someone open up on such a sacred topic.

My husband and I started trying for a baby in Feb and found out 2 weeks ago we were expecting, Just this last week I have felt depressed and overwhelmed. Morning sickness has kicked in and I'm wondering what was I thinking! This baby is very much wanted. I just don't understand why I'm feeling the way I feel.

I can relate to you here. I did have severe anxiety with my first pregnancy but it was a pre existing condition that got worse when I fell pregnant. It did get better after birth and my second pregnancy was relatively anxiety/depression free. However fast forward to now, I am 11 weeks pregnant with our third much wanted baby and suddenly I am starting to freak out a bit. I am suffering morning sickness and have since 6 weeks which isn't helping, feeling sick and run down. Now my dd is sick, hubby is working a lot and I'm feeling very swamped and freaking out that I'm not going to be able to cope with 3 kids under 5!!! I think hormones play a part but if you are worried go and speak to someone. I had a wonderful psych with my first who visited me in hospital after birth and everything, antenatal depression is probably a lot more common than we hear about!

Thanks for this post op!