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  1. #441
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    My most shameful moment as a mother was when my husband decided to leave us. This was about 8 months ago. We weren't getting along and one day he just decided to pick up his stuff and abandon us. Ever since he did it, all I could do is sit and cry. I couldn't even take care of my daughter. And I know that this will sound awful, but at some point I even started thinking how easier it would be if I was alone. At least I wouldn't have to explain to my child why daddy's not coming home. But we lived through that and we're stronger now. And my daughter is a great comfort, even though she doesn't realise it much right now.

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    Oh Amelia that's terrible! I think he is the one who should be ashamed - not you. I haven't been through that experience before so can't imagine how difficult it would be to grieve and move on for your daughter's sake. Glad she is great for you now though. Other single Mums on here might better understand your challenges.

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  4. #443
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    Quote Originally Posted by AmeliaCrawford5386 View Post
    My most shameful moment as a mother was when my husband decided to leave us. This was about 8 months ago. We weren't getting along and one day he just decided to pick up his stuff and abandon us. Ever since he did it, all I could do is sit and cry. I couldn't even take care of my daughter. And I know that this will sound awful, but at some point I even started thinking how easier it would be if I was alone. At least I wouldn't have to explain to my child why daddy's not coming home. But we lived through that and we're stronger now. And my daughter is a great comfort, even though she doesn't realise it much right now.
    I'm another person who hasn't been through that but your reaction sounds pretty damn normal to me. It would be easier to be alone, that's a fact and when you're struggling it's easy to fixate on that. Now you're at a point where you can realise that even though it would be easier if you weren't a single mother, it would be far less rewarding! I'm sure that you and your baby girl will be just fine together.

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  6. #444
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    Quote Originally Posted by AmeliaCrawford5386 View Post
    My most shameful moment as a mother was when my husband decided to leave us. This was about 8 months ago. We weren't getting along and one day he just decided to pick up his stuff and abandon us. Ever since he did it, all I could do is sit and cry. I couldn't even take care of my daughter. And I know that this will sound awful, but at some point I even started thinking how easier it would be if I was alone. At least I wouldn't have to explain to my child why daddy's not coming home. But we lived through that and we're stronger now. And my daughter is a great comfort, even though she doesn't realise it much right now.
    hugs, Ive been a single parent for many, many years and I still think this some days.

    on the bad days I think my god Im not cut out for this, Im failing these kids.
    how nice would it be to just check out for the weekend, leave on a friday afternoon and not come back til sunday night, no worries, no responsibilities.

    just sit in the quiet, drink a coffee that is hot and pee without having to play sideline referee at the same time.

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    hwaterhouse  (23-01-2015)

  8. #445
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    👍 I'm coming back here when I can compose myself enough to not just rant all over the place and make no sense. It's one of those days and I am shamed of the mother I am... I'm not hurting my children, I'm just not giving them the best of me. Today my head is a sooky mess. I've just wanted to cry all day. And putting it into words is a mess too. I will be back. But I did read a few posts and I can relate. It's good to know I am not alone in these feelings. For now I wish I could just go to sleep and wake up when I feel less like a failure.

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    Hugs @bigZ I feel you.
    Some days are just not mummy days. But it's ok to let your kids see that your human. My boys give the best hugs when I'm having a cry day.
    You need it sometimes.

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    I still can't put these feelings into words. I am all over the place..... I am getting more and more frustrated with the kids, DH, everyone, everything. I feel like I am drowning. Nothing is going right, everything is falling apart and I am not the mum I wanted to be. I just want to run away. I'm not being kind to my kids or DH. I don't know how to get out of this funk. I yell at the kids and then hate myself. Being a mum was all I wanted to be and this last week (probably longer) I have hated it. We went out for tea for someone's birthday last night and my kids were the only ones sooking and not staying still. And I hated them for it. I love them don't get me wrong but I hate their behaviour and actions. Being a mum has been so lonely. I didn't think it would be this hard... I find myself hating other mothers and kids because their kids are being good, doing the right thing, sitting still, not sooking. Then I hate other people that I think are looking at us because I think they are judging us and wondering why we can't control our kids... I wonder that to!
    I hate people that say how do you cope? It's usually when they are crazy and I hate them for it. Coz then I go home and cry and know that they are *****ing about my parenting, the kids. I just want to run away!

  11. #448
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    BigZ are you okay?

    I seem to be yelling ALL the time lately gosh I hate how it makes me feel as a mother😔 I'm positive people bag me as a mother as I have a really full on toddler but I don't care anymore I just don't. My attitude has changed but I just wish I could stop yelling like a crazy!!!

    Neighbours must hate me.

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    @bigZ I've got those kids too. The ones that constantly need to be removed need how to behave, the ones that people talk about after you leave. I just feel so judged all the time.
    I'm a terrible shouty mum and dh doesn't understand how that makes me feel. I desperately want kids that listen but I'm just finding I don't have enough time to spend with them to improve their behaviour.

  13. #450
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    FearlessLeader is offline Winner 2013 - Most Memorable Thread
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    When my DD was born she was a terrible sleeper. I developed pnd and did quite a few things I'm not in the slightest bit proud of. I swore at her and called her awful names. I screamed in my DS's face. They both witnessed me in a foetal position on the floor literally tearing my own hair out and screaming. I once pushed my sewing machine off the table, in a rage. I once threw the dining table across the room, in a rage (neither of them was in the room that time)
    I got help. I was supported by DP 100% and I got help and I got better.
    And you know what? I'm a BLOODY good mum. I'm a fecking fantastic mum. I read to my children every night. They don't have too much screen time. They are fed wholesome, home made food 90% of the time. I take the time to listen to their stories. I've never smacked them. I shower them with love and affection. I celebrate their wins and encourage them when they lose. I breastfed both of them for 12 months. I make sure they brush their teeth every single morning and night.
    Not coping does NOT make you a bad parent. It does NOT mean you are abusing your kids. It does NOT mean you are permanently harming them. It just means you need help.

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