Hugs @bigZ I feel you.
Some days are just not mummy days. But it's ok to let your kids see that your human. My boys give the best hugs when I'm having a cry day.
You need it sometimes.
I still can't put these feelings into words. I am all over the place..... I am getting more and more frustrated with the kids, DH, everyone, everything. I feel like I am drowning. Nothing is going right, everything is falling apart and I am not the mum I wanted to be. I just want to run away. I'm not being kind to my kids or DH. I don't know how to get out of this funk. I yell at the kids and then hate myself. Being a mum was all I wanted to be and this last week (probably longer) I have hated it. We went out for tea for someone's birthday last night and my kids were the only ones sooking and not staying still. And I hated them for it. I love them don't get me wrong but I hate their behaviour and actions. Being a mum has been so lonely. I didn't think it would be this hard... I find myself hating other mothers and kids because their kids are being good, doing the right thing, sitting still, not sooking. Then I hate other people that I think are looking at us because I think they are judging us and wondering why we can't control our kids... I wonder that to!
I hate people that say how do you cope? It's usually when they are crazy and I hate them for it. Coz then I go home and cry and know that they are *****ing about my parenting, the kids. I just want to run away!
BigZ are you okay?
I seem to be yelling ALL the time lately gosh I hate how it makes me feel as a mother😔 I'm positive people bag me as a mother as I have a really full on toddler but I don't care anymore I just don't. My attitude has changed but I just wish I could stop yelling like a crazy!!!
Neighbours must hate me.
@bigZ I've got those kids too. The ones that constantly need to be removed need how to behave, the ones that people talk about after you leave. I just feel so judged all the time.
I'm a terrible shouty mum and dh doesn't understand how that makes me feel. I desperately want kids that listen but I'm just finding I don't have enough time to spend with them to improve their behaviour.
When my DD was born she was a terrible sleeper. I developed pnd and did quite a few things I'm not in the slightest bit proud of. I swore at her and called her awful names. I screamed in my DS's face. They both witnessed me in a foetal position on the floor literally tearing my own hair out and screaming. I once pushed my sewing machine off the table, in a rage. I once threw the dining table across the room, in a rage (neither of them was in the room that time)
I got help. I was supported by DP 100% and I got help and I got better.
And you know what? I'm a BLOODY good mum. I'm a fecking fantastic mum. I read to my children every night. They don't have too much screen time. They are fed wholesome, home made food 90% of the time. I take the time to listen to their stories. I've never smacked them. I shower them with love and affection. I celebrate their wins and encourage them when they lose. I breastfed both of them for 12 months. I make sure they brush their teeth every single morning and night.
Not coping does NOT make you a bad parent. It does NOT mean you are abusing your kids. It does NOT mean you are permanently harming them. It just means you need help.
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So I'm basically consumed with guilt and regret for choosing to continue my unplanned pregnancy. DP and I sometimes joke about how babies ruin your life but I don't think he realises that I'm secretly not joking.
I think I've done a damn good job with DS anyway, I've never felt like I'm not coping, he's happy and securely attached to me. I'm just not attached to him and haven't gotten over the loss of the life I had and was going to have.
Silver flute (08-04-2015)
I am so drained from 3yo dd2. She is either really really happy or grumpy. Nothing wears her out. Not even 3 plays at parks and a 10km+ bike ride in one day. I'm finding everyday just frustrating. We can't afford child care at the moment. She doesn't start school until next year. I don't really have anyone close by to watch her on a regular basis except maybe once a month and that's too far between. She isn't a naughty kid or anything. She just never stops. She doesn't sleep very well either. Never has. She is overly affectionate while dd1 doesn't do affection at all. Its like dd2 got both shares of that. Dd1 and dd2 are total polar opposites to each other. I wouldn't trade them, although I wish some things would improve, but I am counting the days until dd2 starts school and have done since she was a baby.
Have you got some friends you can catch up with at the park? Grab some coffees and then just let the kids run around like crazy ducks?
DS2 had one DVD that always kept him interested for at least 30 minutes and I am not ashamed to say that we went through about five copies of it!
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